Meanderings of Wanderwolf

2012-01-27T08:11:00.000-08:00

Okay,...I know that I've been lax here of late...and that there are a few who have been "wondering" what's been going on. I apologize for my untoward behavior...here's an update on some of the weird sht that's been going on in this ol' Fart's life these past few months...

Remember the "dizzy sht" that was the result of the fall I took back in November?...well, that has finally "cleared"...I am able to once again stand on a ladder and try and get some work done. That "sht" was really starting to worry/depress me...I didn't know what I was going to do "if" I wasn't able to paint anymore. There, for a while, I couldn't even hold a pencil and try to draw; whenever I'd try and "focus" my hand/eye co ordination my vision would blur and my mind would swirl into dizziness...it really scared the sht out of me. I was starting to think the worst of dark thoughts. I don't know what I'd do if I were to loose my ability to "play" with Art...however, finally, a couple of weeks ago, I noticed that the "dizzies" are finally gone...and that I am once again able to "focus" and get the control I need to create again...Thank You, Lord!

Remember the "You're Dead" problem with the VA that hit in December?...well...(fingers crossed here) that might finally be straightened out, also...I'm not gonna hold my breath, yet, though...The last week of December, I was finally able to talk with someone in Atlanta...where the "medical" department is head-based...and they "fixed it" so that I could once again see a Doc, and get my heart meds again. I had totally run out of meds and was really starting to wonder what kinda stress this whole sht was bringing on. My blood pressure was zooming and I couldn't see the Doc...computer said I was dead...so the azzholes wouldn't even acknowledge me "in person/right in front" of them?...whadafck kinda "people" have we turned into in this country? Would it have "mattered" if...IF... I had actually had another fckin' heart attack right there, in front of them... brought on by their sht? I kinda doubt it..."uh, he's already dead" so says my computer!...azzholes...anyway,.."that" part of my VA seems to be fixed...

...leaving only the Pension part to straighten out...the letter I got back on Dec. 3rd, had said that they wanted "monies paid out" to be returned...hmmm...what's that about?...throughout my running here and there, trying to find the "right person at the right keyboard" who could help me back into the land of the living, I discovered that my records had somehow gotten "confused" with another Michael Baker's...another Mike Baker who happened to have died on June 14th last year...somehow, someone wasn't paying enough attention to the "details" of their job...nor of our separate record files. I was going back and forth and around in circles with "clueless" desk people, trying to "separate" my sht from the dead guy's...all to no-avail..

A friend down here helped me to contact my local Congressman's office..(I really wasn't into wanting to do this. I didn't see it as something worth "that guy's" time...nor did I really think he would even "give a sht" about something as "trivial" as this to begin with) My friend insisted "that's what he's there for", so, in exasperation, I went ahead and let her contact him.

A week ago his office called and said that they had straightened it out, and that I am now back "alive"...next day, I got a letter from St. Paul; where the Pensions department main office is located...saying that they apologize for the mix up and that they are going to start my pension back up...uh..."from June to present" and that they request my... "spouse to please return the death benefit check that she had erroneously been sent"...uh, whadafck!?!

Dammit!...they don't owe me money since June (when that other guy died) !!..my bank deposits were halted only in November, December, and now, January!...I don't want money clear back to June!
...and I don't have a "SPOUSE"!

...if they actually "paid out" the $97 check that this letter says they did...whodafck did they send "that" to???

The "other guy"s wife?

...man, they really gonna go and fck with her head, now, too?...for 97 fckin' bucks?

...sht, if they, in fact, have sent her $97 "erroneously"...

I'll go ahead and give them $97 out of my own pocket to cover it, just so they leave her the fck alone!

fckin' clueless desk jockies with computers...sheesh!

I'm not for all certain yet...that I've seen the end of this Circle-Jerk...hee hee...

ya'll try and have a Great Day!...got it??

2011-12-17T10:30:00.000-08:00

Well,...here it is a week later...and it does seem like the "self- medicating for the dizziness" just might be doing the trick...I've been taking CalsiumCitrate,( rather than the Omeprazol I had been on for acid reflux) for over 12 days now...and the dizziness/equalibrium problem definately is finally going away....

I wish the "other problem" was straightening out...however, it doesn't appear that I am back "alive" yet...I went back to the VA on Tuesday,...and still show up as "deceased" on their computers...sigh...now I can't get my meds on line...set up any appointments with my Doc,...nor, get even any "services" when I do a "walk in" at my clinic...I went down to the Patient Advocate office and we attempted to straighten things out...seems the "notice of my death" came out of the Regional Office in Phoenix, and is "somehow tied in with something" that came down from the Puget Sound VA in Seattle...this office is trying to get "whatever" it is, sent down from Seattle VA so they can get a look at it...might take a few weeks yet, I've been told...

meantime,...this ol' Fart is trying to get back to work...got a couple of painting commissions to get done...and a couple of sign jobs to get started ...also have a couple wall mural projects to get off my azz and get going on...I definately won't "starve" here, however, my need to "jack this up" does cause me some "wonderments" as to my physical capabilities right now...thank the gods, the dizziness is subsiding!...I'm gonna give it a few more days before I attempt to climb a ladder, or get back on a scaffold again...

not a very "Christmasie" mood happening around ol' Lizard Flatz right now...I'm feeling kinda depressed about this sht...am very short on cash and low on food...and having a difficult time dragging my mind out of the gutter of self-pity and feelings of "no control over my life"...despite also knowing that..."hey! I Do Have Control!...if...IF... I can just get MY sht back together here, and get it done.

Got friends dropping by and trying to "lighten the mood"... and inviting me to join them for Holiday season gatherings...but I'm not really up to it...don't want my "dark mood" to in any way hamper their high spirits... Hell, I don't even feel like a few brews...I can't even shake the "sour attitude" with booze (tried that already)...it only seems to intense-ify the "angers" of it all...so...I'm staying away from "friends and happys" for right now.

I started a new commission painting 3 days ago,...been pouring myself into it. ..when working,.. I can "block out" all thoughts of other sht and just focus on the "here and now" on the easel in front of me...(probably "why" I love painting so damned much)...Yesterday, another guy came over from Tucson, and handed me a down payment for doing him a commission piece that he and I had talked about last Summer...that's nice!...seems that God is actually "throwing me ropes" right now, with which to go ahead and pull myself out of this down-turn with...if I but see them, and then, do it... I "Thank You, God!"

One great thing that I've come to notice about life...it is Always changing....the sht never stays forever...like the cloudy storm sky...stick around and the sun will come back out...ya just gotta have patience...and wait it out....I'm still not as "good at patience" sometimes, as I should be...hee hee...

Ya'll try and hav a Great Day!...ya hear?

PS...Tony!...I bought a Magic Jack ta try and call you with over this computer, however, my bandwidth isn't fast enough...be patient, Dude, I'm working on it...meantime, you,Mindy, and da "lil Man", have a Great Christmas!, okay?...I'll get with ya after the 1st of the new year!

2011-12-10T17:17:00.001-08:00

Kinda "funny"...in a strange, off kilt'rd world kinda way...(gotta have a "sick" kind of mentality, to find any "real" humor in it sorta way)...when I sit down and think about it...I have sometimes wondered ( to myself ).."what would it be like...if...I were dead?..."

I'm sometimes thinking..."damn!...the "fun" I coulda "played with, here"...if...it woulda happened...(Hummmph)...uh,er...let's say ..."a few years ago"....

I went down to the Plaza today...it's "Second Saturday" here in Ajo...a day when local "farmers" and local Artists set up their wares on the sunny, north side, promenade of the Ajo town square...despite the chilly morning, there was a pretty good sized gathering of "locals" and newly returned "winterbirds" in presence...It was fun meeting "old" friends once again..I talked with friends ,and oft times, the conversation turned towards my current situation...they had "heard" about my latest escapade....some were heavily concerned....some kinda...uh, "lackadasic"...and some (like self)...try our damndest...to find a "joke" in it, somewhere...

I also let different ones in friends/circle know... "yeah, I need to stop fckin' round, and get "serious" with Art again...and that Wolfie is in need to get some cash brought in."

I don't think that I'll need to worry that deeply about what "might" happen in the short distance future...a number of assorted "art projects" in area getting ready to launch...I will, at least, be able to survive by staying here...I can "erk out" enough to cover "basic" bills...that's a damn good start...right?

also...right now...we're at da start"of SnowBird Season!...that's a "no-brainer"...I get ta painting pictures on canvas,...that they'll buy, again!....damn!...this is almost...too easy!

sigh...yeah!...this'll all "work"...

'cept....I can't get my fckin' Equallibrium back...enough to be able to even "focus" enough to work a pencil...let alone,...try ta stroke a brush...or...(damnnit!) climb a step ladder to paint the 3 murals awaiting!

I am getting "antsy"...I want...NEED to be working right now...I "need" to cover myself...don't want, nor desire "handouts".

The Calcium Citrate that I started 3 days ago, (in conjunction with the stopping of the Omeprazole) might actually "be something"...still way too early to tell for sure, but,...I've been "upright" and put in a full day...been up, now, over 12 hours "straight"...and haven't had, but....very "minute" episodes of the "dizziness",or "equalibrium, loss" so far.

that's really cool....My fingers are crossed...I'm half way to thinking..."well...perhaps....I'm not quite the "okay, let me die guy" as I'm sometimes thinking nowadays"....

sigh....

It gets "tiresome" sometimes....the frustrations...the anguishes ...the angsts...and the deep, deep, inner pains that we each...ALL of us... carry inside ourselves.

Sometimes,...under our "loads we snap"...

...various reasons...various ones of us..."opt out"

10 Years ago...this ol' Fart wound up in the Puget Sound V.A. hospital after a failed attempt at removing self from the pain and anguish of those around me...that I had caused/brought into their lifes

Silly thinking on my part...thinking that simply "removing myself" was anything more than the "coward's way" out...the "failure" turned into a 90 day stay in the Psych/PTSD wards in Seattle...

...simply because..."I was trying to be nice...for once...in my sorry, fckin' life"...

...sometimes, "Suicides" are trying to "repay" in the only way that they think they have left...the only way that is "truly theirs" to give...their Life...arrgh!..."should haves" ....are such a waste of thought...aren't they?

Part of Vet PTSD is mostly "Survivor Guilt"...we blame so many of our actions upon it...so many of our "failures"...because we came back alive...and fck'ed things up once Home....each time we screw "something" up here,( in what we used to call "the World")...we "transfigure" that in our minds...to those, oh!, so many years ago...when we were young lions, out for a cause...out for our tribe...out for our "Home"....to relate with.those that we somehow..."left behind"....

...and we only see "failure" on our part...that "other guy" fell...that "other guy" gave all...gave ALL!...for something that he "truly believed in!"....

why couldn't?...shouldn't?...every one of OUR lifes be the same???

We should ALL die...for something "heroic"...
...not some "simple sht" like..."self-pity"...or..."shame"...or..."guilt"....or...uh..."computer error"???

Why is "life" nowadays,...so utterly useless...ignored...fergotten???

...is it really..."that"...unvaluable?...any more?

I sit and wonder this sht, nowadays...I wonder "why?" I came "home" and Arnold Collins didn't...why did I...and Gary Shaw didn't? We were "same place/same time"...yet, here I am...so damned many years later...and where are they?....nothing more than a"memory"...and the 2 POW/MIA braceletes I wear on my wrists.... I sit and stare at them...and wonder..."how much "better" a Husband? Father?...Guidance Councilor?...Sign Painter?...Artist?...JackOff?... might "they" had been than I?...how much "less" of a Fck Up?

all "sht" where my mind has dwelt...these past (over 40) years now. All these years I have thought "dead"...all these years (sometimes) I have dreamed "dead"....all these years...I never "Knew Dead"...

uh...er....hrrumph...uh....until now.

I do not like...the sht going on right now...

I do not like the "easy dismissal" one gets when they "no longer exist" upon this "plain of reality"....

upon reflection, (of the conversation at my clinic yesterday)...that damned "receptionist" at the desk, where I checked in (same guy as 3 days before)..."knew" me...knew that I was the "dead" guy from Tuesday...(I wasn't "dead" to his computer, yet, back then)...yet, yesterday (Friday)...since I am "now" dead on his computer...he can't help me?

...'cause his computer "now"says that I am deceased?...even though I fckin' "standin' right, damn, in front of him?"...which I was!??!...

the "kinda funny" part of this whole, fckin' tirade...is...uh...fck it....sigh...just kinda makes me wonder...are any of us really "alive" anymore??...if the fckin' computer says that ya ain't???

Night, All!

2011-12-10T07:38:00.001-08:00

Trekked back over to Tucson VA yesterday, with another ol Fart buddy (Leo) who happened to be heading over there for an appointment of his own...froze our azzes off on the trip over...whadahell is with all us ol' Farts down here...and our old beater vehicles with no damned working heaters in them!??!?

Anyway, I had to go back and find out "what" the CT Scan revealed...and...to try and find out more about the "I'm Deceased" thingie...appears that I couldn't get "brought up" on the computer at the clinic I am assigned to over there now...uh, it now reports me as "dead"...so, "no info available" as to the CT Scan,... nor am I able to refill any of my scrips...nor,..even.make an appointment with my Doc !...whadafck?...
I went back over to CBOC (the admin office I had been to on Tuesday) and they pulled things up...and sure enough,...the "news of my demise" was spreading throughout the computer network like some sort of virus...and shutting me out...AArgh!

Told me to give them a few more days, and then check back in (in person they insist)...so...looks like I go and make the 3 hour (each way) ride to Tucson again on Monday or Tuesday...got all weekend to try and get the heater in my ol' truck to once again work...fix the faulty brake lites and turn signals, and install some kinda "back window" into the thing (never actually "worried" about window before...it's just an old Desert Rat truck, usually only driven off road down here..don't usually "go fast 'nuff" to be bothered by breeze on neck... don't drive for any length at highway speeds...and usually, don't have to contend with temps down in the low 40's-50's like it is here right now))... damned if I want to "drag any friends" along on this mission of discomfort and frustration....

The dizziness is slowly (very slowly) subsiding...I am learning to live/deal with it...but it still causes me quite a bit of anxiety...even "moreso" with all this "being dead" horsesht now keeping me from my Doc and his "input"...doesn't "compute well" with my PTSD befuddled mind at all...

I.have an "herbalist" friend that I have been talking with and seems to agree with me that the blood thinners , and the med (Omeprazole) I'm on for acid reflux...just might be the combined culprits to the "falling down" problems I've been having these past many months. I've stopped that med, and am now ingesting Calsium Citrate to counter act the damage that the reflux drug was probably doing to my system (it depletes your body of Calsium...which is needed by your body for bone strength...and also to stop "spurs" on spine and in your inner ear from forming)...the inner ear spurs are what often causes egualibrium/dizziness in ol' Farts...so my herbalist friend tells me...sounds "informed" to me...so, since I am a "man of control" with no alternative at this juncture...I am trying to "doctor" myself back to equalibrium .

If, my "financial situation" is indeed at a loss here, due to being dead...and I loose my VA/Social Security for however long it will take (been told could take up to a year) to straighten out....I have simply got to get "hard-core" back to work...no more of this "diddle around" or, "play" when I feel up to it...I have got to take charge, come hell, or high water...and get producing...sellable art once again...dizziness and ill-health be damned!...gotta "man up" and geterdone!

Tony, I'll give you a call in a couple of days!...gotta buy a phone, dude...hee hee...(remember, I threw the old one away when I "retired")...hee hee...

Ya'll try and have a Great Day!...got it?

2011-12-07T06:56:00.001-08:00

Drove myself over to Tucson yesterday...gawd, what a hassle...went to the registration desk and showed the letter that I received on Saturday from the office in St. Paul...guess what?...I AM dead (according to them)...have been since June 1st...(??!!??) The clerk I talked with took copies of my various I.D.s and said that she would fax them out to them, letting them know that I am indeed alive...problem now though, appears that they have "frozen" my bank accounts and are attempting to "reclaim" monies sent /deposited since June...there also is a very strong likelihood that Social Security has also been informed of this bogus "demise" and that that part of my "income" is also now screwed up...sigh...

while there, I also checked in at the clinic to check out the "head thing" going on...they sent me to emergency, where, they sent me to get a CT Scan...by time this was all done, it was close to 5P.M....and I got tired of waiting around, so I left, and drove the 3 hours back...I was beat, tired, hungry (hadn't eaten all day) and just frazzled and frustrated...somewhere, along the way, my old beater truck "lost" her brake lights and turn signals...sigh, so it was a real "pain in the ass" whenever anybody came up close behind during the trip back...3 hours of "white-knuckle/ please let me get home safely" driving thru the desert night.

Going to make some calls this morning and try to find out what the CT scan revealed...also call Social Security and attempt to discover "what" I'll need to do there (probably have to do a "face to face" back over in Tucson)...

feeling like it all just might be "easier" if I was, indeed,..."dead" at this point...gawdam!...what a bullsht hassle things can be sometimes!

My head is still "swirlie" and things get a tad "confusing" at times...the Docs seem to think my blood pressure is too high for where it should be with the blood thinners they have me on and the "dizziness" and "history of falls" this past few months they say, worries them...uh, me too...tell me "something new" that I don't know...and can do something about, dammit!

Sitting around in a wheelchair over there, being pushed around the complex from dept. to dept. all afternoon, did not accomplish anything but cause my blood pressure to sky rocket! My PTSD does not "allow" me to be in situations/places where I am not "in control" of what is going on around me! I "had" to leave...get out of "the crowds" (of the hospital, and of the traffic in the city)...get back into the quiet, solitude of the Sonora Desert...where at least, I can breath...and get "calm" again...even if I do it with a little "dizziness" going on...

I know that I have numerous friends around me...people that "care"...and I do appreciate each and every one...I cherish them...however, I really absolutely hate "involving" any of them in this kinda sht...wasting a whole frckin' day of their time running me to Tucson..."waiting around" while tests and crap gets done over there... it is not "something" to load a "friendship" with...I'd much prefer not to become that "indebted" to someone close..."paybacks" are always something I'm never any good at delivering up to par...much simpler to just be "self-sufficient" in matters such as this...leaves "less hurt" behind when I do eventually "fail" the relationship (as I invariably do over any long haul)...

All that said, I do have a good buddy, John,...another ol' Fart that I sit and drink beer with here at Lizard Flats...who has offered to "run me around"...much as I hate to ask, I'm gonna see if John is up to another run to Tucson...sigh...I'll buy the beers, when we get back...

...so, ya'll quit worrying!...this ol' Fool ain't "out" yet!

2011-12-04T22:51:00.001-08:00

Totally "Crazy" of late...Familiar sht ..not so familiar...everything a small "twist"...or...just a tad..."off" kilter..."weird"...yet, familiar...but...at the same time,..."not"...

I fell down, in the shop, a few weeks back...paint fumes were heavy that night,,,,I can't "smell" them anymore (burned my nostrils out years ago) ...anyway, fell down and smacked the back of my head on the cement floor...got up, thinking, "hmmm...gotta get out of here"...staggered to the door, lost my footing and went down again,...smacking the back of my head on the doorjam on the way....

...crawled to ol' Wanderwolf and went to sleep...awoke the next day, and couldn't raise up...let alone get out of bed....everything would "swim around" and make me nasious... puked big time a few times...fell back asleep...Urgh!

Took 3 days before I could stand up again....when I did, it was only for a few moments at a time...then I'd get "swirly"...and then sick again...this sht has been going on for over 3 weeks now.

I feel like I'm in some sort of "bubble" inside my body..."connected", but then again, not connected with it...it moves, does what I want it to do, but, somehow, there is a "pause",...an "off balance" to everything at the same time...and it quite literally, makes me "ill"...almost nascious...kinda like sea sickness...or a "hangover" that refuses to go away....my "equalibrium" is all fcked up.and just won't straighten out...

...and "other weird sht" keeps happening in the world around me...sht that questions the whole "reality" of what I see, feel, or even do anymore....it's starting to "worry" this ol' Fart a little...am I going "insane"?...I'm starting to question the fact....

Day before yesterday, a letter came in the mail...addressed to the "representative of Michael Baker's estate"...from the Dept. of Veteran's Administration...informing me of their condolences over my demise...uh, whadafck?...also, it informed me that they were going to "freeze" my bank account and "re-claim" any funds paid out during the past month of my life due to the fact that I hadn't "earned" them somehow (I'm assuming because I hadn't "made it" through the whole month in question?)...insane.....

so...with yesterday being Sunday, of course, there was no place open that I could call and attempt to straighten this sht out...I got to thinking...awwsht!...they're gonna "freeze my account?"...so, I went to the nearest ATM just to see if I could grab some cash (with which to make it thru until this sht gets fixed back right)...no problem, it let me grab 200 bills out, which I then reached into my pocket to put with the 3- 20's that I already "knew" that I had in there...uh,..."where'd those 3-20's go?"

right, somewhere along the way, yesterday...I "somehow" managed to lose $60 in cash that I'd had in my pocket...I haven't "lost" cash outa my pocket in years...damn!

I'm wandering around in a strange kinda "fog"...I'm watching everything going on around me...I'm "interacting" with it...yet,...somehow...I'm not feeling really "connected with it" at all...it's weird...

and tonight, I get on the internet...and sht is weird...sites that I "know" and have been using for years...are "tweeked" and "different looking"...still "themselves"...uh, but "not"... at the same time...My preceptions of "reality" seem to be "shifting" somehow...hmmmm...am I , in some way....going insane here?

I'm tired of the "dizziness" and dis-orientation going on...I'm tired of the "dis-attached" feeling happening...something is definately "wrong"....

I am headed over to Tucson, and the VA hospital, tomorrow...to see if they can help me figure out just whadafck is going on....it's really kinda starting to get me "spooked" now...I'm wandering around in a daze...not really feeling "in control" at all anymore...not of my body...nor the world around me...I have a strange "foreboding" starting to grow...that "this" is some kinda Alsheimers. or something coming on that I might just end up "stuck in" for the rest of my life...

...too fckin' scary, man....don't wanna "be here"..

PS...wrote this AFTER midnight...don't have any idea "why" it is saying that I wrote it at 10:30 on Sunday evening...like I said, "my world is acting "weird" right now"....sheesh!

Open Studio Days...

2011-11-27T03:12:00.000-08:00

The Friday/Saturday after Thanksgiving each year ( for the past 16 years) is known for "Open Studio Days" here in Ajo, Arizona...for the past 3 years, this ol' Fart and Lizard Flatz has been a part of the event.

It is the "first" social event of each new "snowbird season" down here in this part of the Sonora Desert;... a time when we all "re-greet" one another, share a smile, and welcome old friends back that we haven't seen since some "weenied out" and ran away from the intense heat that arrives down here every Summer.

These past couple years, I have grown to absolutely "love" the heat...and the absence of 3/4 of the normal Winter population that inhabits this place...the "quiet" when our "winter residents" are gone...is also looked forward to each Spring with great anticipation by some of us...hee hee...but...not at this time of the season.

This is "early" season...and it is a greatly anticipated time of "renewal" for old/new friendships in this little desert town.

The past 2 days, I had many, many folks stop by the studio just to say "Hi!"...some I first met 3-4 years ago when I first came to Ajo, and hadn't seen since...some, I see each year when they arrive back...seems kinda "weird" in a way...many seem "kinda like Family" in some strange, yet "comfortable" sort of way...it is "nice" to have friendships like this...despite my oft times desires to be left alone...

uh, you do know just how "screwed up" my thinking processes are, right? my last post was "complaining" about drop ins,...and now this week...here I am talking about how much I enjoy them!...damn!...am I ever going to make sense???

...anyhow...the "Tour" went pretty nicely, this year; I greeted many friends that I hadn't seen since last Spring, when they'd left...and even one couple that I hadn't seen in 3 years came by...

Kelly and Al Bayfield stopped by ( thebayfieldbunch.com ) seems that they're "boondocked" just the backside of "A" mountain here ...only about 2 miles, or so, beyond where my shop is at on Rocalla...last I'd seen them was right after I'd found this place and had decided to stop the wandering for awhile...has it really been 3 years, already?...damn, time flies, doesn't it?

As I sit here, at 3:30 in the AM...I feel a tad..."remorseful" and even a little "sad" that ol' Wanderwolf hasn't been taken out of this fenced yard for over 2 years now...thinking about friends like the Bayfields,... and George,...and Froggy Donna... out there, under the stars, and just "wandering" around freely, gets my mind drifting again...drifting with the notion of wandering again myself.

Much as I do love this town, and this shop,...and this "place",...I do, also,...miss the "open spaces" and vistas available when just wandering.

I think that I'm going to start getting ol' Wanderwolf back "road-worthy"...my original plan was to work on/at this studio for 5 years...I'm well over "half way" thru that time frame...it is time to also start "readying up" for leaving this all behind and getting back on the road again.

There's a lot to do...still alot to finish here on the studio...and a lot on Wanderwolf to bring back "right"...but, I have about a year and a half to accomplish it in...

I'm gonna get busy...

Thanks so much, Al and Kelly, for stopping by! perhaps, by the next time our paths cross, it'll be somewhere out in the vast beyond!

Ya'll try and have a Great Day!...ya hear?

Show ups and Drop bys...

2011-11-19T09:07:00.000-08:00

Well, down here in usually sunny Ajo, Arizona...it isn't very "sunny" this morning...and Dang!...it isn't very "warm" neither...brrr...in fact, this ol' Fart is sitting here in ol' Wanderwolf, scratching hisself (uh, on the head) and trying to remember just where the hell did I stash that last pair of long pants ( that I think were still wearable) the last time I had them on last Spring???

Life in the "stupid (senile) lane" can get downright confusing sometimes...

I know a few of ya have missed my mental rantings and occasional snippets of "wisdom"; and might be wondering whatdahell happened....why'd I quit the blogging like I did?...well, to be honest with ya...

I became embarrassed with it...and felt extremely uncomfortable with the "notoriety" it seems that I was starting to garner. Without trying to sound "pompous" or "stuck up", I simply looked around and realized the growing size of the "audience" I was gathering...and it scared the shit out of me...hell, I have a "following"???...whadafck!

I know, this is the "internet"...I know, some folks totally "live" on this thing...I know that some folks become "famous" for their adventures (like my buddy George, or my friend Donna)...however, I never once thought that this ol' Dawg's ramblings would ever deserve, nor let alone, "attain" any kinda "following". I really only started this thing as a way for a few distant "friends and family" too keep up with my ventures and follies...seriously, the idea of anything "larger" never did enter my pea brain in the beginning.

yeah, in retro, I am a very naive person (despite all my braggings of manly self sufficiency)...

and as my "blogging world" (and my traveling world) expanded out, it was really cool...meeting different folks that I had either been reading,... or, sometimes even were "pen-pals" myself with.

...however, I still never "totally" grasped the truly startling "enormity" of what my "ramblings and mutterings" was actually stirring up in my wake...

...not, that is...until I "settled" here in Ajo for a while...not until I sat in "one spot" long enough...

It's one thing getting on this keyboard and sending "drunken spews out into the void of space"...and perhaps, provoking an evocative response back from someone waaay out there someplace else...there's an "anonymity" of sorts there that is "dealable" with...even "comfortable", perhaps.

I really do enjoy meeting new people through the internet...exchanging ideas, thoughts and even arguments is a strange form of "friendship" to me...a few of the dearest and closest friends I cherish in this life are folks that I first met on the internet.

However, down through this past year, or so,...I've become aware that I, my musings, travels, and thoughts, reach out much "further" than just the "circle of friendship" that I thought that it did...

People who are not "RVers" at all stop by...people who are not fellow artists (or buyers) stop by...people that sometimes "make me nervous" stop by...all simply people who read my blog.

People who just want to "meet me"....

uh, what's "that sht" about?

I'm a "nobody"...a little guy with nothing more than a "mediocre" talent (at best) for not being able to keep his damn mouth shut (or his fingers off a key board) when he's into his suds!

There's an idiot (hee hee, Hi, Joey) out there, who hitch hiked all the way down here from Maine, (fer Chriz Sakes!) over the Summer, to bring a 6-pack of PBR...and just drink it with me! I asked him where he was headed next...he said"back Home"...HUH??? I'd never met the guy before, never exchanged e-mail, no "comments" on the blog...nada...he just hikes in across the continent...into the 110 degree heat of the Sonora Desert no less...to only share a 6 pack (3 beers ea.) and then...turns around and goes home?

Seriously... Joe, ya make me nervous, Dude!...but Thanks! yours was an evening that I shall not forget anytime soon! Hope ya made it "back" safely, Bro...

There have been numerous "show up at door" meetings with readers,.. here at Lizard Flatz, since I started showing the art and blabbering about my life down here on the blog. I found/find them somehow "flattering", yet, at the same time...I feel very "unworthy" of such "out of the way" attention from anybody...as I've said...I'm just a nobody, little guy in this world...I've "failed" at 3 marriages, "failed" any attempts as a financial "success" I never attempted (hee hee), I'm of ill health, and ill tempered to boot...why the hell am I such a "tourist attraction"?

Over the Summer, realizing that it's all got nothing more to do with anything...than the blog...I froze up...couldn't find anything to write about except "anger"...anger at people for liking me, anger at self for my unworthiness of their friendship...anger just overwhelmed me...decided it would be better to just "stop" for awhile, rather than just spout nothing but venom continuously.

Welcome to the world of a VietNam Vet...and his "problem" with PTSD...

I thought that I was finally coming out of it...thought that I finally was, perhaps, becoming "normal" and could accept simple offers of friendship at face value...uh, I be wrong.

I still have a very "big" problem with anybody "liking me"...when it happens, I freak out...think them stupid...cuz...(and here's the kicker)...IF they really knew the "real me", the animal inside that did that sht all those years ago in Viet Nam...they simply would have to loath this sorry azz as much as I still do myself. If they knew the pain that I've caused so many souls down thru the years since...the pain I caused my families, my ex wives, and children...

sigh...

Joey, the guy from Maine, was/is another old Viet Nam Vet...and yeah, he hitched clear down here just to share a brew...and let me know that I'm not the only one of us that "knows" the sht that we do about ourselves. Told me he's been reading my blog almost from the start, and that he "relates"...told me that he's exactly the same way...only he "hides" up in the swamps of Maine.

My heart aches so damned badly for all these "new" Vets coming Home...my eyes fill up with tears as I envision all the pain they bring with them that will inevitably be shared with so damned many others...

the sht has simply got to end!

daWolf is Back!...ya'll try and have a Great Day...ya hear?

Bullsht....

2011-11-18T03:40:00.000-08:00

Here I sit....wide awake...and mind "too active with thought"...at 4:30 in the morning,.. to allow me any peace...let alone, any sleep...sigh...In 5 hours, this ol' Fart will be standing before our local County Prosecutor and "discovering" whether, or not, she is going to proceed with "charging me" with something that amounts to nothing more than pure, unadulterated,...Bullsht.

This "modern American life" has become too full of bullsht. We stumble our ways thru it daily. It is a veritable minefield, everywhere we look, or, listen, think,...or feel..or let alone...everywhere we "walk"... anymore.

Most folks seem almost "immune/insensitive" to it...however, this ol' Fool...ain't one of them.

I've been an "expert" bullsht spotter ever since I "honed my spotting skills" waaay back during the Viet-Nam era. I take some "personal pride" in being able to spot "good bullsht" from "bad bullsht"...nice, mild, inoculate bullsht...from the "nasty, downright evil" kinds...I can even smell it in my sleep, sometimes!

Politicians fling the smelliest ... self-proclaimed "saviors" fling the foulest...barroom buddies fling the dumbest...and ex-wives fling the slipperiest, stickiest, meanest crap I've ever fallen on my face in.

but,...the kind that sticks in my craw...and I have the hardest being able to ignore...get rid of the taste of...is that that our local (anybody's "local") so-called "authority figures" use to somehow "separate themselves out as better than" us locals... that they are supposed to be here to "protect"...they use it to "control" us...and that sht just raises my hackles...big time...

uh...yeah,...I'm talking about fckin' "police officers"...and the silly azzed sht that they convince themselves they can get away with simply because they wear a uniform, and a badge....Gads!...I "hope" they don't act that way just cuz they got guns!...hee hee...

A month ago... I "called out" a Pima County Sheriff for some "illegal sht" I observed/caught him in the act of doing...simple (but dangerous/ illegal sht) not allowed for us "civilians" to get caught doing/much less to actually "do" ...I explained to him the dangers to others (as well as himself) of doing it...I "vented" my displeasure with him (and others of his profession) for doing this, it happens "all the time" in this town...I chided him as I would one of my own children (had I ever caught one doing this)...

result?...I was arrested and taken to jail...for...get this..."disorderly conduct"...

I was in "private"...on my own property...inside my studio no less...at the time...NOBODY else around except for me...and the 3 "officers of the law" that I inscensed with my reprimand..(uh, yeah, I "know" how stupid a move "that" could have turned out)...shee!....

anyway, in a couple hours, I meet with the D.A. and they let me know "if" they're gonna "pursue" the issue...

I kinda hope they fckin' do...I want my "day in court"...I want it "on public record" just exactly "why" I was arrested....I want "these guys" in the fckin' spotlite for once... for the "illegal bullsht" that they pull every day...and not just here in Ajo (Bumfck) Arizona!

I want to "OCCUPY AJO!"...and call attention to this "police state" mentality that is only a small part of the "bigger picture" of what is actually going on...in this town...in this county...in this state...in this Country!

I know...sigh...it's ALL bullsht when ya get up close...but...it's also "time" for us all to go ahead and start letting them know that we're getting tired of sniffing even "little whiffs" of the sht!

This sht will only ever change when/if we all become the "citizens" that we all know in our hearts that we should be...we've all got to "take our balls back" before it really is too late.

It's time for each of us to become "artists"...uh, er...hee hee...uh, "bullsht artists" if ya get my drift...rather than just sit and watch the crap on tv...take Local Action...in yer own neighborhoods...and "create something artistic" out of some of the piles of bullsht laying around you!

Find an "inequality"...a "screwing going on"...and EXPOSE it to the light of day!...that is really what the "heart" of the Occupy Movement is about ya know...

...expose the corruption, the "sins",...the bullsht...for all to see....

It ain't gonna "work" if only a relative "few" try and go after only the "big guys"...It has gotta shift to "small guys taking small actions in small arenas"...all the fck over this gaw-damned Planet!!!

maybe...perhaps then...the only bullsht we'll have to wade thru will be the "jovial kind" we share with one another over suds... around a bonfire...maybe, ...perhaps, somewhere out under the night skies of beautiful, southern Arizona!

Damn!...that'd be nice...sigh...

Will "update" as this thing progresses...

UPDATE!...11:00 I am back at Lizard Flatz...my meeting with the D.A. was "somewhat of a disappointment"...especially after I told him that I really want my "day in court"...he said that he had read the police report and that he was going to recommend to the judge to dismiss the charge...he then gave me a copy of the report to read while I waited to appear before the judge...I am even MORE PIZZED OFF now that I've read the thing...fck!...it's full of LIES!...lies that make ME look like an even bigger azzhole than I really am!...but...hey,... the D.A. says that based upon the thing...he's going to request dismisal?...hmmmm...what's he "know" that I don't?

...perhaps, that it's a "can o worms" better left "unopened"?

me thinks that they know the case is un win able (law wise) and that if it did get to court it might prove even more "embarrassing" to their side than to mine?

So, I went before the judge and it was "dismissed without prejudice" (whatever the fck that means)...I spent a night in jail for reaming out 3 Sheriff's deputies...was it worth it?...you bet! would I do it again?...You fckin' A Bet!..

...since the night it happened, the fcker's no longer run the stop sign, nor speed up and down this street like they fckin' own it...at least, I managed to get "my point" across to them...

uh, so I also lost a little bravado/gained some humility....by jumping on their" manhood" over it, I spent the night in jail...I still appear to have gotten "what" I wanted out of it,though....I'm "okay" with that for now.

...but...let them start speeding up and down this street again...and this ol' Dawg's gonna stand tall and flip 'em the bird one more time to flag 'em over...and proceed to once again, "give 'em the whatfor"!!!...and yep, I'll probably go to jail for it...again!...hee hee....

"Hey, Maw!...I still got my balls!"...hee hee....

Little Acts of Defiance are Great for the Soul...especially if they "cost you something" in the process.

Arrested....Motion......

2011-11-04T00:39:00.000-07:00

Got "busted" a couple weeks ago...as some of you (who read the local newspaper's "police beat" section) are aware...

I was sitting here...at Lizard Flatz...and the gendarmes came in....let me "downdress" them,,,and then....they cuffed me....and hauled me to the local jail for the night.....

uh!...sht!....

charge: Disorderly Conduct (!?!?!?)

I am in the local "paper", defamed/besmirched as an...."azzhole"..."local low life".......?!?!....for "questioning "them" on my own "turf"....and they bust me?....

Paper says I was arrested for"disorderly conduct/drinking in public"...uh... "that" is wrong...I was not charged beyond simple "disorderly conduct"...no mention at all about intoxication involvement that evening, nor during the arrest procedure...I did request a "piss test" during the booking procedure at the cop shop, so that I can verify my " sobriety" later, during the trial (if it goes that far)...however, I don't know "where" that "public drinking" sht came from in the news blurp...certainly not from any "witnesses" who may have been around...there were none...just me, and the 3 "county mounties" who were inside my shop/studio at the time...the arrest didn't even happen "in public"...shee!

...beyond this "obscure" disclosure, I cannot comment...at this time ....

...at some point later...in the future....after....my appointed "hearing meeting " with the local D.A. on the 18th... to see if they're gonna "pursue"....or not....all "points of contention" shall be revealed ...I cannot divulge before then, "anything", nor details, about the case that might somehow, be of use against me...

I am not at liberty to say anything at present, one way or the other,....hang with me....

I will reveal Here....first....though...after I talk with the D.A....on the 18th...

Hard not to "comment" at this time...I'd really like to...but...I can't yet...

I'm only blogging this little bit...to settle friend's minds, who have seen the paper, and might be curious/worried...I ask ya to be patient another couple weeks...

...it'll eventually, all be revealed...

Ya'll try and have a Great Night!...right?........

2011-06-09T20:27:00.000-07:00

I'm going to quit blogging for awhile...my moods are "dark" lately, and I think it best if I just keep this sht to myself...
Ya'll try and have a "nice" day...ya hear?

see ya sometime down the road...

Shop Doors, and Play Time!

2011-03-27T09:52:00.000-07:00

Got the new Shop Doors installed a couple of days ago...once I finish the archway (with the "bottle wall" skylight inset) above them, it will look really cool. Oh, and the diamond shaped mosaics that Armondo is making for them are "still in progress"...

My friends, Mr. Boozer, and his son, Mark, have a couple of ATVs...and have said that anytime I'd like to get out exploring with them that they'd be more than tickled to let me drive one...sooo...yesterday, the kids (Anthony and daughter Bev) , Mark, and I went out to see if we could find Ryan's Wash...a place that I have had an interest in finding for well over a year now.

It was the first time that this ol' Fart has ever driven one of those things.

It was a Ball!

I even got "good 'nuff" that I could drive with one hand and try and take pics of my daughters backside with the other...as they lead the way in front of me...hee hee!

We rode out to Burro Gap, and then cut North on the old pipeline road and crossed over the really rough (but cool) area north of marker 72...(the same area where last Spring I couldn't get my pickup truck beyond); went past Marble Mtn. and then, somewhere near what" should have" been Apache Tears hill found the trail that "should have" taken us to Ryan's Wash...where, back in the early 40's, the Gov'ment lined out about 15-20 1930's cars and trucks, I've been told,... to use for "strafing practice" by fighter pilots on their way off to war (WW2). The spot is just "barely" on the Southeast corner of what is now called the Barry Goldwater Artillery Range.

I want to see those vehicles!...take some pics!...maybe do some paintings of them...arghhh!

...but, it wasn't to be...we couldn't find them...and since it was getting late and towards evening, we turned around and headed back.

I've got to find a "better" map...and get some better directions...damn!...

Despite the "failure", we still had a great time just rolling around out there...This is truly an Awsum area to explore and discover....especially when one get's off da "main roads"...

I want an ATV of my own!...They get ya so much "further into" the experience of "being out there" than an ol' 4x pickemup ever could!...The only thing that "might" possibly be better...would be a horse?...uh, nawwww!...hee hee....

Ya'll try and have a Great Day!...ya hear?

Shop Doors...and Bad Movies...

2011-03-17T19:06:00.000-07:00

Promised some pics...first off, here's the doors that I am building for the shop. They have been a "long time coming"...been wanting to do them for almost 2 years, now. Finally got all of the "ingredients" together...they are made out of old lumber that once were the floorboards of the houses that once made up what was referred to as "Mexico Town" locally. They were all torn down/dismantled over 30 years ago. My buddy, Desert Don, and his brother, dismantled and "stored" some of the materials out at his place. Don heard that I was looking for old lumber, and generously "donated" it to the project...hee hee...Thanks, Don!

Over the past 2 years, I've also been looking for the "large headed" tacks, with which to hide the screws holding the antique boards onto the modern substrate (plywood)...about a month ago, Steve (the stucco guy) came by with a large bucket of them...AwwRight! Thanks, Steve!

The "diamond shape" in the center of each door will hold a tile/mosaic piece that my potter friend, Armando is creating for me...hee hee...each will have a Lizard on it. Armando was by yesterday, and showed me one of them. It came out great!...however, the "matching" one, cracked in the kiln during firing...sigh...so, it'll be about another week before delivery; as Armando has to start all over again from scratch.

Tomorrow, I should be able to get the doors cleaned up, and then coated with a good, thick layer of West System fiberglas resin...with these boards as old, and dried out, as they are, the resin should soak right in real nicely...and when "set" will bond them tightly into "one unit". It will also give them a deep, rich, high gloss, "non-maintenance" finish...least ways, that's what I'm hoping...hee hee!

Also, here are a couple of pics of the wall mural that Bev and I have been working on the past few weeks...

Back in 1972, there was a simply awfully "bad" B-grade movie filmed here in Ajo...It starred Rory Calhoun and Janet Leigh (uh, wasn't she in the original "Psycho" that Alfred Hitchcock made??)...anyway, I think it was probably towards the "end" of both of their careers as "stars"...The film was called, "Night of the Lepus"...and was about a DNA modified nightmare gone totally wrong. It involved some really bad special effects (even for that time period) and some really cheesy script writing...oh, yeah, and a lot of "domestic" rabbits miss-cast as supposedly being "man-eating giants" of the Sonora Desert...running amok thru Ajo.

This mural is my "tribute" to that glorious, but short lived era when Ajo was a "filming" destination. There was also another film made here at about the same time ('73 if I recall correctly)...one called "Pocket Money"...starring Lee Marvin and Paul Newman...regretably, it was also almost as bad a movie as Lepus was...despite Lee Marvin trying to inject his own special kind of humor into it. People in town still tell stories of him hanging out in the local bars and instigating fist fights during his "off time"...hee hee...I'm currently working out a drawing that will become a wall mural "celebrating" that film as well.

Two other films were made near here: Burt Reynolds and Vera Miles did "Man who loved Cat Dancing"which was filmed a few miles North of here near Black Gap (also during the early '70's)...and Glenn Ford and Angie Dickenson made "The Last Challenge" down in Organ Pipe National Monument ( back in 1967)...both of these were Westerns...I'm also thinking of possible murals to commemorate them.

Well, time to get off of this thing...and back to work...

Ya'll try and have a Great Night!...ya hear?

Busy...Busy...Busy...

2011-03-17T11:19:00.000-07:00

Yesterday evening about 5, I returned from running the days errands to find the bottle wall beautifully backlit by the setting sun.

I just "had to" grab my camera for some pics...hee hee...to share with ya!

The temps here are finally getting back up to where it's warm enough again to start playing again on getting the next section of the wall going...the bottle "collecting/ drop offs" seemed a bit slower this season...(not as many snowbirds drinking as much wine this year as last I'm guessing)...but, I think that I've got enough to get the next section done with.

I've been working on a few "other" projects lately...the new set of doors for the shop are nearing completion. I hope to hang them sometime soon. I completed/delivered a commission painting yesterday...and started another one last night. I also have been working on an 8' x 42' wall mural with my daughter this past couple of weeks...it should be finished up within the next few days...will take some pics of it later today for ya.

Have also started a series of car hood paintings... on old rusty hoods that Bev and I collected from out in the desert around here...3 of them are 1950-51 Ford hoods... 2 are 1950 Merc...and 1 is a 1952 Ford...We painted a "tribute" to Sailor Jerry on the '52(a Mermaid)...and I'm currently painting a "tribute" to Vaughn Bode ( his Centaur girl) on one of the Merc hoods ...going to also do a tribute to Ed Roth (yeah a Rat Fink, I think) on yet another one...and then a tribute to Von Dutch ( a winged eyeball, of course!), and to Robert Crumb (Mr. Natural?) on others...All Artists that I admire and who influenced my "learning" years.

I may use these hoods as the "center piece" for the one man show that I've been invited to do over in Tucson this next Fall...uh, "if" that truly does "pan out" as expressed by the gallery owner when he dropped by the studio one evening during "beer thirty"...hee hee... we'll see...

...so...as ya can tell...things are a bit "busy" around Lizard Flatz right now...I love it!

Ya'll try and have a Great Day!...ya hear?

Whinerz n Pizzerz...

2011-03-12T22:40:00.000-08:00

Curious ...uh, "folks" wanna know....WheredaWolf...been?

I apologize...

I been..."livin' Life"...beyond the internet.

I try to get on with it...without the hunkerin' down and living/giving my whole being into this frickin' keyboard each night.

I totally forget/forgot...that for a long time..."this was" my life.

I apologize, yet again...

I forget that I established friendships here...that I then went ahead and ignored. I am truly sorry for "slighting" this side of our mutual existence.

UDATE on daWolf:

2 months ago....Bev showed up down here in Ajo...Hop and I finished the Copper News mural...I had a "one man show" to get 10 paintings ready for....I also had work on the "studio/shop" to finish...(before the owner came out to visit ((from South Carolina)) for the "first" time)...hee hee!...Hop and I decided to "start" A.S.A.P. (Ajo Street Art Project)...a mentorship of us being "old Farts" (with experience) taking on young "wanna be" artists under our collective wings...and teaching them the "how to's" of commercial quality wall art...another wall mural was started in town (by us)...money came for the materials via "snowbird" donations....I had to get it started...Bev jumped in to help (enormously) with the painting...the other "young artists" backed out...sigh... because of the "difficulties" in the actual "work of producing" it (???)!!!....I thought these "fcks" wanted to work???....ARRRGH!

The "one man show" was a "hit"!...outa 10 paintings shown...I sold 7...plus picked up commissions for another 5...I then booked next February to do it "there" again...hee hee!....
The "property owner" loves the sht that I am doing to/with her building....she's curious if I'll "re-up" for another 5 year lease(?)...A.S.A.P. has been approached questioning whether or not, we would like to become a part of I.S.D.A...(International Sonoran Desert Alliance)...and receive "Grant" money because of our "mentorship desires" with youth...Bev wants me to "mentor" her....uh,....huh?

Uh...I'm just a dipsht painter...

Somebody sayin' that the "economy stinks" right now? ...can't see that sht from here.

...seems like the "same ol' 'merica to this ol' Fart...ya "deliver da goods"...ya get paid.

...ya sit back and only whine...ya will continue to get "pizzed upon"...

But then...uh, I'm also an azzhole....perhaps,...it's just "my time" to rule?...

hee hee....

Ya'll try and have a pleasant night...ya hear?

Killing Electronics...the "fun way ta vent"....

2011-02-22T23:02:00.000-08:00

Howdy...Hey!....We're gonna "test out" the "system"...and see...whether (or not)...my ol' buddy, Dennis, "really fixed" this ol' computer....or not, today....sht, I bought the ol' Fart lunch fer gawdsakes...hee hee...what "more" should I expect?

We shall "see"....hee hee...right?

Okay, to "fill ya in"...this ol' computer is a "custom built" job that I had a small computer shop up in Skagit County (Washington state) build for me about 10 years ago...when I was still a tad bit on the "flush" side of life.

...Slowly, down thru the years,...it has eventually gotten damn near as "cranky" as this ol' Fart tries to maintain hisself ta be.

...however,...(perhaps cuz of the price I paid for it?)...I never got so pizzed off at it that I tried to "teach it ta fly like a Frisbee"...as I have EVERY other "FAILED Electronic P.O.S." (Piece Of Sht) that I have ever owned...

My kids, to this day...like to "giggle" and tell stories (extremely exaggerated, I assure you...hee hee)...about how I "bashed, then threw"...various tape decks, tape players, phonographs, sound systems,...and even ol' timey Television sets...a minimum of as far as 20 feet beyond our front porch steps...(uh, try "that" with an old 36 inch screen television, dude! the whole "learning curve" of balancing, footing, and then "launching" really does "seperate" the men from the boys...hee hee...)...

It (I like ta think) was one of their "all time" memorable "experiences" of childhood...uh, watching Daddy take out his rage upon simple, harmless electronic crap that "died" and pizzed him off. It is a "one true outlet for rage" thing that I believe should be "passed on" to our aspiring..."youth"....

hee hee...

Still "legal"....and "allowable" in our over-regulated and "controlled" environment, right???

Hey!...we live in a "throw away" society, ...am I wrong????

I just take...er..."took" it to the actual extreme...I've been trying to "teach" useless, broken, unfaithful, unforgivable, pieces of electronic sht..."how to fly"...hee hee...as far away from my anger as I can toss them....for over 40 years now....

Can I "explain myself with...

uh,...it's a "man thing"????...

...we gotta be able to "Vent Somewhere"...right?...or else....we gonna "take it out"...."somewhere"...."inappropiate"...

It's a "human nature" thing that our "regulators" haven't quite figured out...yet.

I "Thank Gawd" that I "discovered" this way of "doing it"...rather than (gawd forbid) taking my frustrations out on my family...or, holding "the angers" in...and then having them overtake me, and eventually erupting out... into Society itself...damn!...can ya "imagine"????

"Killing Electronics" should be a class taught as our children "grow up" into this world...it should be taught to Postal Workers... Political "wannabees"...dis-satisfied employees, "news" junkies...and especially to "conspiracy theory" addicts all around the globe!!...hee hee....

There are "benefits all the way around" when somebody gets pizzed off and smashes his Electronic Umbilical Cord, rather than letting the frustrations grow...hee hee...

think about it...

awww... Hell,....I've gone off and started "ranting" again...sigh...hee hee...uh, can ya tell?...that this ol' Fart's been spending too much time alone?...thinking?...and drinking?...

...again?...

hee hee...

Okay...back "to the TEST"...ta "see"...whether...or not...that tonight, this ol' Fart is gonna finally lose his patience with this ol' fricken desk top ...

If my next "try" at uploading a pic onto this blog don't "work"...the piece of sht is gonna get tossed out the door of ol' Wanderwolf...and I'm "aiming at" sending it over the fence that keeps the javelinas from foraging in the yard (it's about 5' tall by the way...and 16' beyond the door)...

...and ya'll will haveta live without my insightful notions and anctidotes...until I, somehow, "replace it"....uh, the computer, I mean....hee hee...

...if...perchance, there is a "pic" at the top of this post....uh...then...

...in the words of a "past" Goddess (Gilda Radner) that I love,... from the ol' Saturday Night Live show...in the high, nasal,... character voice...

"...never mind"....

...hee hee...

Ya'll try and have a Great Night!!!...daWolf is Back!...hee hee

Projects...Projects...and no F words!....

2011-02-14T20:26:00.000-08:00

aaaaaaaaaaaaawwww....Hell!....

Folks have been..."wondering"....

...hee hee...."wheredahell" that ol' Fart went?

....uh,...."I'm still here"....in Ajo....Arizona.....

My computer just died...and left me "dead inda water" a couple of months ago...took me a couple of months to "get it fixed"....and then back on line.

This ol' Fart ain't stoppin' yet!

Hee Hee!

Despite the computer "dying"...I've been "busy" down here...got lots of pics to eventually upload...and "stories to tell"...the "Gods" have been "favoring"this ol' Fart this Winter (for whatever reason that I simply cannot comprehend yet)....but...

We're doing good...at Lizard Flatz!!!!

Hop David, and I, finished the big mural on the Copper News building (30' x 40' in size)....7 months it took....but, it is soooo cool !....and we're just about to start an 8' x 40'outside mural on the Java Roadrunner building here in town (this one is "my design" rather than his)...

We have already gotten $500 in donations for the materials to "go and play again"....hee hee....

...and...we have another 4...possibly 5 walls "donated" here in town for "future Art Projects"....to be "played with".

Hop and I are "old Farts"...in combination, we have almost 90 years of "experience" in the "commercial arts trade"...Hop is a hell of an illustrator...my part...backs into the "sign/mural"(outdoor/big stuff) business.

We want to pass our "collective knowledge" on to...kids wanting to get "beyond" the graffiti crap that so many (around the world) are presently "stuck into playing with".

We want to teach/show them "the skills" that we have individually learned in our own lives...and hopefully....give out "the tools" to spark their imaginations on to "bigger (and better) creations".

...and maybe..."find"....and help give "impetus" to a "budding" new Genius out here somewhere.

Four young "candidates" are wanting to help us on this next wall project...(we'll see who "sticks")...hee hee....

I'll upload some pics of the Copper News mural soon....I'll upload pics of the "Night of the Lepus" wall...as we paint it....(uh, back in 1972, a "B'grade" movie was filmed here in Ajo...starred Rory Calhune (one of his last roles)...and I think Dorthy Malone played the female lead (in one of her last)...anyway, it was a really "crappy flick"...even for the time....However, it IS a piece of Ajo history...and this next mural is gonna "pay tribute" to it....hee hee... in a "twisted" and definately "my warped vision" way) ...The wall is freshly re-finished and ready for us to come and start "playing with" tomorrow...

Ya really "interested" in "what the movie might be about????"...go look it up...."Night of the Lepus"...it's a very serreal...and under-budgeted flick...that this mural is gonna "boost" sales(views) for..(coulda been a "good one"...if they'da had a "few dollars more" to play with)....hee hee....

My name is Michael...but I go by Lonewolf...and I never used the "F word" once tonight....damn!

Ya'll try and have a Great Night!...daWolf is back!!!!

P.SSSSSSST.... Bev arrived "unannounced" 2 weeks ago...We're still trying to figure out "how" we "re-enter one anothers lives"....Personally, I still have doubts that I know "how" to be a Dad....sigh...but...we're trying.

Update:Lizard Flatz

2010-10-20T21:05:00.000-07:00

Anyone been wondering "what" this ol' Fart's been up to...since he hasn't got "time to play" on the net lately?

...and since the temps have finally dropped back down into the "comfort zone" here in the deserts of Arizona?

LOL...I been "playing".

Besides working with Hop on his magnificent wall painting (no, it isn't finished, yet, neither)...I have also been puttering around some here at Lizard Flatz...Almost have the 1st section of the bottle wall completed. I can't even tell ya "how many" are in it...I lost count months ago. I love the way the sun shines thru it towards the hour, or two, before sunset...it "glows" like a stained glass window would... I wanted to finish off the tiles capping the top of it today...however, the continual "drizzles" and then, actual rain showers kept me from doing so...aww, well, maybe tomorrow...hee hee...

Ya wondering what that "dead thing" is doing in the lower pic?...well, that's a cement javelina sculpture that I've also been working on...I had to "turn it upside down" so that I could work on the underside/belly of it...I'll be flipping it back onto it's feet (with the help of a couple of friends), and then get the "final touches" done to it sometime within the next week, or so.

There's also a couple of paintings coming together in the studio...however, I'll save them for show later...

Ya'll try and have a great night, ya hear?...hee hee...

Reading George...

2010-10-18T19:17:00.000-07:00

I've got a buddy...a fellow RVer...whose personal struggles, bliss, and sense of "self-worth" have been a deep inspiration to my sorryazz these past many years.

In fact, I discovered George, and his blog,...when I was mired in the deepest of my own personal despairs, (so far)...

It was reading George that showed me a "way out". It was reading his daily posts that gave me hope. It was reading George that gave me a "will to continue on"...I "discovered" George, and the Adventures of MsTioga...just when...just when...I "needed them most".

He inspired me, a no-count, wannabe, "person" to start getting over the personal sht,...and get on with the gettin' on.

He inspired me to get off my azz...and get an RV of my own...he inspired me to "find the guts" to go ahead and "learn" (at the age of 55) to think outside the "box" that I had created, that was folding in on/around me.

Reading George every day,...has inspired me to reach out and...uh, if not "reach for greatness"...at least to "reach for..."....hee hee!...and "that" is what reading George inspires in this ol' idjet...

REACH FOR...! ! ! .....

I love George...have for numerous years now. I was finally "rewarded" (if ya wanna call it that. I DO)...when he stopped by here, to Lizard Flatz,... and woke me up one morning last Fall; knocking on ol' Wanderwolf's door. Between my "stammerings/mutterings of inadequacy" we went out for Breakfast (I ain't an "early riser"...uh, ya'll know "that" though, right??)...

As we sat and ate, and became "acquainted", I kept thinking to myself..."Damn!...this guy IS just LIKE his blogs!"...and for whatever "silly reason", this ol' Fart was/is in awe of him..."him" actually being here, in Ajo,...and visiting with me...damn!...made "my day"...hee hee...for sure...

George IS the "friend, patron, Father figure, and "en-abler" that we all look for...and desire in this life!"...the "person" we wish ourselves to be.

His "simplicity" enamours him to me...his capability to only "see the good" enthralls me...damn!...why can't more people, in this shtty world today,... be like George?

...Why can't I?

George is hurting right now. George doesn't need a lot of "do-gooders" giving him innane advice.

Back off, people...let George "think for himself"...and then...

just go ahead and love the sht outa him anyway...

...I Do.

Please, please,...give George "breathing space"...to find "his own head", again!!!

Thank You!

Flick Reviews...n Beer Drinkin' ..hee hee...Again...

2010-10-13T23:02:00.001-07:00

This ol' Fart wandered to the Redbox machine over at the local Circle K again this evening...hee hee....

and then, I wandered over by my favorite place to look for beer "specials"...

I found a few hours of entertainment in/with both endeavours this night...uh, once I got Home (to Lizard Flats) I cracked a beer and threw a disc into the player...

Any Long Time "knowers" of this ol' Fart know that I love...really "love" movies...this ol' Fart's mind just loves being able to wander off, get entranced, and float away in a great piece of film art. Must be the "wish to escape" that fills my waking hours...plus ...my fckin' "dreams" every night?

Movies, to me,...are "far finer" sometimes than walking into an art gallery and discovering that...uh oh, closing time already?...after I loose total track of time while totally engaged into "something that carries my sorry azz away"...unless yer "vulgar rich" ya can't takedasht home with ya...sigh...know what I'm talkin' 'bout??

Movies are "available ta take Home" for us "peons"......and then...spend all the time we want with...just lookin' at it...re-winding,...slow-motioning, ...playing stop-action with...hee hee...and just "studying" the sht out of if we want.

...and sometimes I do find "gems" that I do all that sht with...hee hee...

There's a new flick called "Leaves of Grass"...that I just love daHellouta...on so many "fronts" that I just am at a loss to explain...uh...

and "no" it ain't cuz I just bought 4- 12 packs of Longboard "Island Lager" at the local weekly "Thursday Sale" for only $6 a case lot...hee hee (see?...told ya that I love it here in this desert town!)...yeah, the beer's got an "expiration date" on it (reason it gets "dumped here")...but, this particular "buy"...ain't "expired" until next week!...uh,..."No Problemo!!!"...hee hee! It'll all be urine indagutter by then!

This particular store...is a "weekly drop off point" for the Tucson distributor when his inventory is getting close to...uh, dump it /or suck it loses stage..da man here picks it up cheap...and turns around and sells it "dasame"...Cheap!....but (((caveat here...the beer is always still "legit/legal" date wise)))

I love him for that. I think this sht is the kinda "Merican Ingenuity Sht" that kept this country running thru the crap of the old days..."little People watchin' out for/takin' care of each other!"

UH!...sht!...sorry...got into a "side rant"...hee heee....I just wanted to say that "Leaves of Grass" is a damn good flick...hellatious soundtrack...and I'm gonna buy myself my own personal copy...hee hee...next time that I'm in Tucson (monthly V.A. horsesht)....

Okay...told the "good flick"...now,...wanna hear "daUdderside"???There's also a flick out there that just...uh,...totally disgusted the fck outa me...but...I couldn't help myself...I sat and...watched it all the way thru.

Started at the very "1st"...on the Redbox machine...the title...captured my imagination..."Human Centipede"...uh, what?

so,...I rented it.

This is NOT a "Halloween" pic ya want yer Grandkids to see.

all the time I was sitting here...entranced by the visuals...my mind was yelling at me, saying,"whadafck are ya doing?!?"...."This is some sick sht!"....yet, I kept watching it...sigh...

Ya ever been...in a "situation" where yer "thinkin' dafck outa it" and wish ta hell ya were somewhere else...ya wanna shut it down...but...ya can't stop watching?...

as an artist, I really can love "the what" of what this film is/might be about...but,...as a human being...someone who lives, loves, and cherishes life in general...this movie just totally "hit" all my buttons of disgust...

at the same time...damn...I was thinking that...uh, Meryl Streep woulda been better "indamiddle"...and...aw, damn!...whadahell am I thinking???!!!???....

all ya psycho blood/guts/degenerate fans might like this sht?.....

uh, perhaps "that" was their intent?

We're a very "SICK" society...believe me...and...since this flick is German...uh,...it must be a Worldwide epidemic??...sigh...

Ya'll try and have a great night...ya got it?

Post Script:....This ol' Fart's computer is on it's last legs...sometimes the thing works...others it don't...cuts me off when I don't wanna be...let's me wander sometimes, too...kinda as "undependable" as I always was to my ex-wives...
Tonight, it "let me" peruse some of my friends sites...and I clicked into George's...and became totally heartbroken over the sht going on in his life right now. George was my inspiration to even start "this journey" that I am on. He has been my constant inspiration that "maybe, just maybe" I might arise above the sht that I think/thought myself mired in....Please,...if you have never read "Tioga George", go and "catch up"...

..try and forgive the "shallow followers" their banality as you read thru his access areas...read awhile, and you will find the heart of this noble, and gentile man...

George has just lost a son...and his heart grieves heavily....be gentle as you read....it's "realsht, Hon"...not a Hollywood movie....

Wall Job in Ajo....

2010-10-06T21:26:00.000-07:00

Here's some pics of "daWall" I've been helping Hop David throw up down here in Ajo, Arizona...

We've been working mainly at night on the wall (way cooler than during the 115+ days)....however, the temps have dropped down into the 90's again, this past week ( finally)...also allowing us to get in some day time on it. We're still "on schedule" to have it wrapped up by month's end. I think.

I've also been able to get back to work on the "bottle wall" again, now that the temps are agreeable...I'll post some pics shortly...

Ya'll try and have a good night, ya hear?

Shel Silverstein....Memories for Ol' Farts...

2010-08-28T01:05:00.000-07:00

Well...here we go...again....just a tad past 1 in the morning and I dragged myself home from "the Wall" about an hour ago...(long 'nuff to chug a couple brews and throw a new CD I found at the library on the player)...damn!...anyone ever heard of a dude named Shel Silverstein?

...yeah, He's the "cartoonist" that used to do comics now and then back in the 60's for Playboy magazine (if I remember right)...He's also the guy that wrote songs now and then..."Boy Named Sue"...er/or..."Cover of Rolling Stone" are probably his most famous....He also wrote "The Unicorn",...and then, also...my personal old favorite, "The Winner"...

Any other Ol' Fart out there remember his sht????

There's a new CD of his music...called "Wistable, Twistable Man"...and all the people on it that sing his songs are Priceless Memories as well....the song "Queen of the Silver Dollar " is done by Sara Jarosz and Black Prairie..."The Winner" is done by Kris Kristofferson,...there's even a "new" version of "Daddy What If" that was recorded by Bobby Bare Jr...and his daughter Isabella Bare....(uh, anyone remember the "original" by B.B. Sr...and little "Jr."when he was only about 4-5 years old?)...????....this one brought fckin' tears to this ol' Dawgs eyes...bigtime...

Shel is also the dude that wrote "Cover of Rolling Stone"....uh, ya remember THAT one, right???
It's got a new and really "good" cover here, too, by Black Francis and Joey Santiago!...and...remember "Sylvia's Mother"???? There's a kick-azz version of it by the Boxmasters...I love their re-style of it....(the drummer on the old "original" version was in the Seabees with me in Viet-Nam during my 2nd tour '68-'69...sht! I can't remember the name of the damned band now...nor his!...sht!)...awww FckIt!...hee hee..."small sht...fer small minds..."...

My personal "new" favorite though, is "The Giving Tree"...done here by Nanci Griffith...uh, I cried again...(she does the most "awsum" version of this song that I have ever heard...if "this one" don't make ya cry...nothing ever will)

There's the great version of "The Living Legend" by Bobby Bare Sr....and an equally great "Me and Jimmy Rodgers" by Ray Price...

It's funny,...all these songs are one's that "touched my heart" when I used to hear them years ago on the old A.M. radio we used to hear back in the 60's-70's...before everything went "F.M."...sigh...and then became...uh,..."commercialized"....some of them, I "discovered" on my Dad's old 78's of "Country Music"...(yeah, I like Ray Price...and Bobby Bare...wanna fight???)

...and "yeah", I "knew" these songs well enough back then to find out who had written them.... This ol' Fart has loved "good sht" from the cradle. Shel Silverstein was always a particular favorite of mine. He helped "meld" Rock n Roll with what has become known as the "New Country" movement...hee hee...too fckin' bad that more recording artist's/song writers today simply can't "feel enough" to "put the heart" into their art anymore...sigh...seems to this ol' Fart that it's all "canned sht" anymore...

...'cept for "Jewels" like this album...the new artists, and the mixing of old recordings is 2nd to none...I'm gonna buy my own personal copy of this one.

Shel was always one of the "best"Touch Yer Soul writers of Music that has ever come down the pike...(gonna argue with me Tony???...hee hee...)

Ya'll try and have a Great Night...ya hear???

P.S....I also have a new Steve Miller album to check out next....gawd, has it really been 21 years since his last one???...damn!

PSSST:...uh, I like this new Steve Miller sht, too!....damn!....He is still "up there"!!!...It's called "Bingo!"...and It is good, ol' Miller sht...I've always loved his guitar work, rhythm, and melody..Throws in a new mix of "Good Times Roll" that absolutely "rocks" on his guitar riffs!....he hasn't lost his "harmonic vocals" neither...and he also "out- Santana's Santana" on "All Yer Love"...check it out!

Another "big thing" that I like about this album...is that it is "old school" in the "stereo aspect" of it...it is a "head phone" album...hee hee...the guitar riffs "flow" left to right and back and forth like the "good ol' sht" usta do in the good ol' days of sitting in our basements...smokin' sum sht...and having the jams "cranked up" with the head phones on...the sounds play back and forth across yer hearing range...Stevie takes us "back again" in this album...

...how cum..."more artists" don't play with "stereo" in their sht like this?

Uh, I have another question:....How cum "muscian's are allowed"...to copy/play with/and "make better" their peers sht...(or even old dead sht)...but ya "try that sht" as a painter...ya get fckin' sued for stealin'???...or, at least..."discounted" as not being a "real" artist?

Don't make no fckin' sense to this ol' Fart..."Art is Art"...steal here...copy there...ad-lib some/make "this part better"...leave that "ugly part" out...and then...uh, "It's yers"...right?
Muscian's do it all the time...Whydafck can't "graffic Artists" do the same?

I'm just askin'...hee hee....

Walking Scaffolds, Running Treadmills, and Hydroplaning Monsoon Season..

2010-08-26T21:24:00.000-07:00

Been a long, drawn out day today...been "up n running" since 4:30 this morning...after only an hour (or so) of sleep last night.

Hop and I knocked off work last night on the wall mural about 9P.M....as opposed to our "usually" playing on it until at least midnight, or later, these past couple of weeks...We've finally got the first coats of paint onto the "riders in the sky" clouds...and the "fancy " basket weave border area in...(damn!...moving that "blankety-blank-blank" 4-section tall scaffolding back and forth on the "inclined" sidewalk is a bitch...uh, did I mention that "this wall" is 30' tall...and 60' long?...and "yep"...we're painting the whole fckin' thing...hee hee...

Hell, it took us the better part of a week to just get the "projected image" up and drawn on...had to also get the County Sheriff's "okay" to block off the street at night, where we set up a 2 story scaffold (in the middle of the street) to "project" from...uh,...and all "manual labor" being furnished by self...and Hop...(another Ol' Fart Artist here...uh, google him up: Hop David; his sht just amazes me! His stuff takes Escher's stuff to a whole new level of "expertise")...hee hee....the "sht" that artist's put themselves thru just to "impress others" never ceases to inspire me...hee hee...)

anyway, between the 100 degree+ temps here, and the occasional "monsoon rains" in the evenings, we have managed to, actually, make better progress than we've been anticipating on it.

...until this past 24 hours....Had to knock off "early" last night...as I had an 8A.M. appointment at the VA in Tucson...in order to "get there" in time, I had to leave here by 4:30 A.M...my ol' pickemup truck does not "do" over 50 miles an hour (downhill)...hee hee...(it's a "DesertDawg" and not built fer highway speed)...hee hee...

Aside from leaving "in the dark", I also managed to run into rain less than 30 miles into the 130 mile trip...uh huh,...it rained the whole fckin' distance...uh, 'cept for the last 6-7 miles as I arrived into the Tucson 'burbs...sigh...

...uh, did I mention that "said truck" does not have rear window glass?...nor, does the sunroof even close?...(don't need datsht in the desert, hee hee)...Lil Sht finally found a place to keep dry by crawling under the fckin' seat....I could only coax her out by opening the door and showing her "dry ground" once we arrived in Tucson...damn!

anyway, I thought it would be a quick "get in, get it over with, then get da hell out" (anyone remember that Jason Robard's line from the film, "Ballad of Cable Houge"?? hee hee) anyway...usually, only about a half hour of time...(yeah, 3 1/2 hour trip each way)...hee hee...

not this time...sht, I didn't get outa there till after noon. Aside from the "normal" routine, I also had to do my "6 month meeting" with the actual doc....and then, an EKG was ordered...a Chest X-ray,...and a fckin' "run the treadmill" stress exercise...awww,sht!...damn!...and then another 1/2 hour was killed standing in line at the Pharmacy to pick up the "new" drug he wanted me to try...damn!!!

not bad 'nuff that I had gotten only an hour or so of sleep...and then pulled that "hellacious drive over"...but then I had to run a fckin' treadmill, too???....

When I finally dragged my tired azz out of the building, and glanced West (the direction outa Dodge, er, "Tucson")...I saw nothing but a pure black sky...aw,sht!...that rain is still sitting there?...Yep, it was another 130 miles back thru it to get "home".

Lil Sht wouldn't even "come out" from under the seat when we finally got back here...in fact, she even growled at me when I reached in to drag her azz out...(never done that sht before)...hee hee...

uh, the "wall"??...I'm too damned tired to even think about working on it tonight....hee hee...but, now "tomorrow" is a whole new story...hee hee...

Oh,...there was a "High Point" to this day: When I first got home, I flopped onto the sofa in ol' Wanderwolf and dropped some ZZZ's...upon awaking, I turned on the computer and...wow...I "have mail"....Micah sent me mail!...WOW!....Micah is my Son, the Son that I haven't seen since he left at 17. He now has a Family of his own...a wife, son...and daughter...none of whom this ol' Fart has ever met. For the past few years, any news I get about them comes "2nd hand" through my daughter, Bev. I miss my Son. I miss the Daughter-in-Law, Grandson, and Granddaughter that I have never met....Gawd, I'm turning into a sentimental ol' sop...but, it's a "pain" that I really do like the sensation of feeling.

I've waited so long..."to feel again"...sigh...

Ya'll try and have a Great Night!...ya got it?

Whole new Nightmare....

2010-08-24T23:34:00.000-07:00

We all live with Demons...

Some we have no control over...they're just "there"....some we create for ourselves.

This ol' Fart is damned good at creating his own.

...always been "dat way"....probably always will.

Sometimes, I still have nightmares...bad dreams about the sht that happened when I was only 18-19 fckin' years old....about the sht that "didn't happen"...right alongside of the sht that did.

Time...and Nightmares have a strange way of inter-minglin' to where (in my case anyway) where they run together and ya really (after 45 fckin' years) really can't separate the truths from the fantasy sometimes, anymore...

and then,...ya "return" and "live life"...and new nightmares begin to take their place in the "parade" of your life...adding their toll to the kitty.

Tonight is this ol' Fart's "birthday"....I am 61 years old today...and I've spent it by myself.

The lack of family has given me "a reason" to do a lot of introspection...a lot of "looking back",...a lot of "aw fcks"...

I "dodizsht" every year at this time...hee hee....(spend B'days alone out of habit)...

I never thought "in my wildest dreamz" that I would ever live beyond 32...sigh...never did, and then, allda "sudden"...here I am...suckin' suds at 61???....damn!!!....

I'm turning "into"...the ol' white-haired mofo that I always thought was fulla sht.

Damn!...ya know the "scary part"?...I sometimes think about "alldasht"...and realize that it really don't mean sht in the "grand scheme of sht"...

Old Farts have been "worrying about sht ever since they "get old"....has something ta do with "perspective"....

We (as Human Beings) only ever "see sht" once we have gotten "beyond it"....hee hee....

and therein lies the "angst" (nightmare) of becoming an "ol' Fart"...nobody else is interested in what ya have to say...or try and explain about the sht ya've been through...Ya might "get lucky" and they buy ya a beer...but, all the "young bucks" just shake ya off as being an ol' geezer who don't know his az from a hole inda ground....sigh...hee hee...(been der...done dat myself)....aw, fck,...da sht goes on....and on....adnausium....

a whole new nightmare world to try and wade thru is opening up for me....sigh....

Ya'll try and have a Great Night!...ya got it?

Still Pizzed

2010-08-19T09:10:00.000-07:00

Okay...Warning up Front:....this ol' Fart is Pizzed, Again! Anyone with a "disdain" towards my sometimes "colorful" language should turn away now, and go to somewhere else for their voyeuristic glimpse into another's life.

I hate fuckin' Galleries...I hate damn near every fckin' thing about them...Galleries are nothing more than a parasitic entity living off the talent, blood, sweat, and tears of the artists. Galleries are the fcked up reason that prices are so asinine out there for "decent" works of art.

Were you aware that Galleries charge an artist anywhere from 30 to even 70% commission to display/sell an artist's work?...and that some of them, even charge an annual "membership fee" to the artists?...and for what???...a fckin' "place to show"????

Okay, I know...I know,...Galleries provide a "visual viability" that is required in order to be seen...I know that without them...life (as an viable artist) would be next to impossible...I know....

however...I still hate the fck out of 'em!

...and I was reminded of another "why" yesterday afternoon.

Seems a couple of weeks ago, I had a couple stop by the studio, who were passing thru from California. While in town, they'd stopped by the Caffeteria Gallery...and, wow...they had bought one of my paintings on display there. They then stopped by to meet me and tell me how much they liked my work. I was "tickled", cuz, really, when it get's down to it...I just love the sht out of "flattery"...hee hee...It gives me a nice sense of "self-worth" when someone enjoys my sht enough to go ahead and part with cash in order to "make it their own".

I really get a "high" out of a sell.

...well, the following Monday, I wandered into the Gallery and asked when I might be paid my 70% for the piece. The girl said the book keeper would probably send me a check within a week, or so. I said "fine" and left.

I stopped back by yesterday...and got lathered up...seems that besides taking30% (which I knew they'd do and just discount as "an evil of doing business with the devil") I'd also have to "wait until the Following Month" before receiving my part of the money???...whadafck???

They got their money "up front"...the client has the painting...and here I sit...only halfway thru this fckin' month...and NO fckin' BEER MONEY to get me thru!!!

Now "that" fckin' sucks!

I got so pizzed off at them that I pulled my other sht out of their building...I don't need this kinda aggravation....I hate (more than anything else in life) when somebody fcks me around over money...especially "money that is mine".

...and yeah, they showed me where it said that "following Month" sht in the contract..."My bad", I admitted...however, it still doesn't make it "right" that they can carry the cash for an extra month on their books, before they then go ahead and dole it out/at their convenience, to me "like some manna from Heaven to the poor beggar below/beneath them"...

Fckdatsht!

...I spend enough time "looking down at myself"...I don't need/nor want any hypocritical "my sht don't stink but yers does" attitude coming from some fckin' Gallery...Fck 'em!

I want my money "cash on delivery"!!!

An artist friend told me (last night) that he hoped I'd "re-think" the pulling my membership, "as there are some good people associated there."...hmmm...yeah, I know that...I told him that I'd sleep on it.

...hee..hee...I am "still pizzed" this morning...

Ya'll try and have a Great Day!...ya got it???...hee hee...

Things doin' at Lizard Flatz...

2010-08-10T10:05:00.000-07:00

Whew!...It's been "hot" down here in the Sonora Desert this past few weeks!...but, finally appears to be "cooling down some" these past few days (especially at night, which is really sweet)...
I've been "hunkered down" inside ol' Wanderwolf (da RV) watching old DVDs from the library, reading a few old novels (again, from the library), and just "chillin' out"...while at the same time, trying to figure a way to "re-direct" my artistic endeavors a bit. I'm wanting to do "something new", rather than keep knocking out the same ol' sht...

I completed a new painting that I put into the new showing at the Cafeteria Gallery a couple of weeks ago. Got a lot of "positive comments" about it during the reception....(...don't know that I can put much stock into that though...the few of us there were also pretty "loose" on all the cheap wine we was drinkin' that night...hee hee)...I also sold another painting that I had in the show to a couple passing thru from California this past weekend...that was nice.

Other than that,...it's been a slow, hot Summer here...too hot to get any more work done on the Bottle Wall yet (cement sets up too fast)...but, it was cool enough a couple nights ago to let me get another bit of cement work done in the studio on the "Javilina piece" that I started this past Spring...I think that I have a buyer waiting for it's completion,...leastways, she keeps telling me she wants it for her yard when it's done...hee hee...we'll see....

Oh, I have got a couple of "other projects" that I'm helping with, also...a really talented "mosaic artist" from Tucson is doing 2 really nice "tribute" pieces for a new sculpture garden that is going to be installed this next Fall in town. I am one of about 5 "locals" helping out with the assembly of them...(I've always wanted to learn "how to" do that as well, and figured that this would be a great way to learn). It seems to be going quite well. Scheduled completion will be in November, I believe.

...and Hop David and I are just about ready to start "slingin' paint" on a huge (30'x60' ) wall mural for his newspaper (the Copper News) office building here in town. The mural has been in the "design phase" for about 8 months now, while he had someone repair and re-stucco the storefront. I'm taking my projector down tomorrow night and we're gonna try and project our design onto the wall (rather than grid out everything) to save some time...(hopefully it will work, however, I'm worried about distortion and whether or not the projected light will be bright enough to see our image with)...guess we find out tomorrow night! Once we get "the sketch" up...I and a couple of the other "Summer Artists" left in town, will get started throwing colors to it. It'll be fun...

Well, that's about it from here...I'll post some pics sometime soon...

Ya'll try and have a Great Day!...ya hear?

Daughter Bev...

2010-08-05T22:01:00.000-07:00

Bev...the email addy ya sent me last night...doesn't work...Please resend to: dawolfdidit_2@msn.com

Love ya, Hon...

Daddy

It's a... "Azzhole" Thing...

2010-07-26T22:36:00.000-07:00

Okay,... this ol' Fart "admits"...that he is a "drunk"...uh..."sometimes"...hee hee....Other "times"...I like ta blame it on...uh,...whatever my drunken mindlessness can "come up with"....hee hee...

These past few months, this ol' Fart has been "trying ta find" his azz...from the hole in da ground that it seems "everyday life" has fallen into.

For sum reason I feel that "artists" are supposed to/should "Stand Up" and do "something" to portray/point out the...."uh,...yer fckin' up" back at the azzwipe "powerz-dat-be???"

I am so "pizzed off..." at the fck'n "bail out" of the "upper" banks...I am sooo "pizzed off" at the "Wall Street save"...I am so PIZZED OFF at the "rapin' and pillagin' being done to the environment and peoples of the planet...I am so pizzed off ...that the fck'n "Gawd" we elected....seems to be another "bought n paid for puppet"...to their regime.

This "SHT" just pizzes me off..."BIGTIME"!!!!

...and "now"...(according to the News this A.M.)..."they" wanna take away Social Security..."too"???

Uh, excuse me..."that is MY money"...that I paid into during my "working career"! I earned that money with the sweat off my brow...it IS NOT an "entitlement" like welfare, but rather it's a "retirement fund" that I paid into!

...keep yer fck'n' mitts off of it!!!

People need to go ahead...and start writing "pizzed off letters" to their "reps"...

otherwise,..."they're" gonna Steal everything they can from us...

(pssst:...uh, it ain't "Democrap against Repuglican", or "left against right" sht...it's much deeper than that..."Educate yerself"...and realize that it's the "Corporations" that ya gotta watch...an' fight...and find a "way around"!!!)

...otherwise...We are All fck'n ..."lost"....

...The "new" painting got rave reviews at the show the other night...(and it "is about what" I'm talking about here)...I'll try and post some pics as soon as I can download them...

Still Alive...

2010-07-16T23:09:00.000-07:00

Whell...Heck...(hee hee...I could'nt find the "Capital H"...on my fck'n keyboard)....uh,...ya "buy dat"??....aww. shee...okay, I'll 'fess up...da ol' Fart...is "drunk t'nite"...sigh....

Temps here in the middle of the Sonoran Desert...are up to 120-125 during the afternoon these last few weeks..."normal" for "this time" of year...and "drop down" to about 90+ at night...

...and "diz ol' Fart"...ain't bitchin'...I lovedafck out the..."heat"!!!

in fact...we are entering into the...uh,...."monsoon season" right now...and I love the hell out of the "evening colors" that we get this time of year..with the clouds (storms), and everything,...the sky does so many "subtle" changes that ya just ..."stop"....and stare...and then,...watch...as it changes "colors again".....(gotta "be here" to really understand)...I Love It!

Been "too hot" to work on "daWall" these past few weeks...so...diz ol' Fart has been inside ol' Wanderwolf (da R.V.)...and doing what he learned "last Summer"...uh,...ta "hunker down"...and create paintings...to..."hopefully" sell this next 'Fall....

Yeah,...I got "air conditioning" inside the ol' R. V....and it really helps down here......only gets to about 100 " inside" in the late afternoon...(when it is 120+ outside)....hee hee...

...only have about another 5 weeks of this sht...then,...temps will slowly start dropping back down into ...(hee hee)..."comfortable parameters".

In the meantime,...I "paint"....

Got some "new sht" that I'll post soon...type of sht that I haven't done in awhile...I went "back" and am doing some of the old "Low Brow" type sht I was doing 20-25 years ago...(uh, remember that sht, Doug??)....only, "this time" I'm gonna go ahead and let my "political azz" hang out there...

By the way....do me a favor...go and type in Doug Bloodworth.com...check out my ol' Florida "buddys" site...We used to work together back about 12-15 years ago....he's an Awsum Artist!

I'll post some pics of my "new" Low Brow/Pop Art....soon....(yer gonna Luv Dis Sht, too, Tony...uh, get yer wallet together, son, hee hee)...

Ya'll try and have a Great Night!...We baskin' in a sauna down here!

Bottle Wall continues to climb....

2010-06-15T14:50:00.000-07:00

Well...the "heat" is back...it's averaging around 105 during the afternoon hours here in Ajo...and will be back up into the teens within the next few weeks, I'm sure.

I Love it!

Work on the wall is "progressing"...uh, slowly...I've been cutting bottles...taping the "halves" together...and then mix a batch of mortar up and add 'em to the wall. So far, I have over 850 bottles in the wall...I'm guessing I have about another 100 to go....then, it's on to the next 'panel" section...

I'm thinking that I'm going to start the cement "trees" that will act as support columns for the "floating" roof section next, and work on them as I also get started on the next wall section.

There will be 2 (perhaps 3) trees that will be about 10 feet tall, holding up the "open" end of the palapa/ramada area roof. The roof, itself, will be "free-formed" of lathe, rebar, and cement...loosely in the shape of a giant clam shell.

I'm "aiming" at having most of it "roughed in" before the Winter Tourist season gets underway in about November...we'll see....hee hee...

I've still gotta get back to work on some new paintings soon also...so that I'll have "something to sell" when folks start dropping back by in the Fall... I've got a few ideas that I'm doodling with as a "new direction" in that area as well...

Gotta go..."beer-thirty" is just about here...(soon as I get back and "clean up" the area of mortar that I troweled an hour ago)...

Ya'll try and have a Great Evening!...ya hear?

No Longer a Wanderer?...I doubt that...

2010-06-02T15:06:00.000-07:00

Hmmm... This past few years...(I'm starting my 3rd here in Ajo already?)...I've been asked by differing "Road Warrior" friends if I've "settled"...given up the Wanderlust...or, what?....

hee hee...uh, "Nope, I haven't"...my original quest, when deciding upon this voyage...was to one day...eventually...end up driving into Casco Viejo...and then..."there" start an art studio to "live out the rest of" my daze in.

uh...where is Casco Viejo?, (simple minds would like to know)......uh,...it is in Panama....hee hee....

There is an Artist's Community down there...that fellow "Artist Friends" have been" populating"...and letting word get "out about"...fer almost ...uh, 60 years now?... trying to get "artists" to come on down to, or...from around the world to... (without wanting theazzwipe...uh, "promoters" to really "discover" yet).... I found out about/known about it for over 25 years now.

I've done my "homework"...

Did you know that:

The "average" Middle Class Panamanian...only "brings Home"...$500 (American dollars) a month?

That an American (U.S.) may/can/is invited to...."enjoy" an extremely "nice" Retirement Community down there "if" he can show a Social Security/ "proven retirement" income of only....$600 per month?

I've checked, become friends with folks living down there...$300 a month gets me an apartment/studio (fully furnished)....with 2 days a week maid service and a 2-3rd story view of the ocean on 3 sides...uh, yeah,...the bath/shitter is "down the hall"...and shared)....but,...whadafck do I care about "that" kinda little sht"???

Oh, by the way.... the economy down there is "based upon" the U.S. Dollar...

has been for awhile (almost forever) now.

Americans (our kind) live like Kings down there...those that "think their sht don't stink"...uh, they kinda decide that (eventually) they wanna go ahead and "come back home"...those that "adapt"...get along "just FINE"....

seems a hell of a lot..."friendlier" than here to me....

If "sht is gonna hitda fan"...awww, hell, might as well "do it" somewhere else...so this ol' Fart's brain tells him...

Life's an Adventure...go fer it, Sucker!....

Top position on this ol' Fart's Bucket List:

Become an Artist in Residence in Casco Viejo.

This little "side-trip" in Ajo....is only a "5 year commitment/deal"...I hit this town, saw the Art Community building...and decided to lend my time/efforts to helping get it off the ground...
I'm here creating art...so that the sweet Lady/Landlord person that I am leasing from... can go ahead and "reapdasht"...after this ol' Fart gets on down the road...and those that "be here" can know that...uh....daWolf passed thru?....hee hee....

Nothing More...Nothing Less...

hee hee...uh, I'm daWolf...I leave daSkat as I wander...

Anyone that want's to argue about "this way ta live"...is more than welcome to drop by...and visit...(uh, bring beer wid ya though...okay?) I've still got another 2 and a half years..."playin' here"...hee hee....

uh,..."I'm on my way, guys!"...hee hee....I'll "get there"...eventually....

Bottles, bottles, bottles...

2010-06-02T11:34:00.000-07:00

I'm still playin' with beer n wine bottles...I think I might have "enough" to finish this particular section of the wall...gonna be "close" though...hee hee...

I'm guessing that I have about 4-500 into it at this point...(there are 2 there for each one ya see)...

I was running out of the "clear" ones, and put out a call to friends...and someone dropped another couple of cases of empty Corona bottles off over the weekend...I cut them off and now have another 30 some "bricks" taped together to cement in this afternoon...then, I can go ahead and stack some more gold and green ones above them...

The "design" is finally starting to become apparent...that "wave" of clear glass will "flow" across at beltline height and into the next panel section (to be constructed after this one is finished).

Once I complete these, I will then construct 2 cement "trees"(like those I built around on the front of the building last Fall)...they, and this wall's support columns, will hold "aloft"...a huge cement "clamshell" ceiling/roof section....hee hee...uh, did I mention that this "insanity" is going to be an outside kitchen/ramada/ party area?...well, now I have...hee hee....

I'm hoping to try and have most of it completed by the Fall,...when the "social season" gets back into full gear down here...

Gotta lot of work to get going on...see ya!

Howlin' at the Wind...

2010-05-28T04:45:00.000-07:00

I hold great disappointment over my Country any longer being a "Land of the Free/Home of the Brave"...for it simply doesn't appear true any longer to me...if, indeed, it ever really was....(which, in retrospect, I have come to seriously doubt)...it's taken years for all this to even register in this brain washed/ignorant/stupid Anglo decent mind of mine...that we've ALL been nothing more than just pawns in someone else's game.

I've "known that something" just wasn't "right" for an awfully long time. My awakening started happening years ago, while I was a "grunt" serving in 'Nam...I fell off the "my Country/ Right or Wrong" band wagon when I discovered that "killing a Gook for God" no longer made me feel clean, or good about "John Wayne, Apple Pie, and the American Way" of thinking any more. I was 19 at the time.

After over 40 years of "study"...study of politics....economics...religion...and social injustices and persecutions in this land (both the current ones, as well as those of our inglorious "Nation Building" past)...I become more and more disgusted, and sick in my soul.

For a long time, my disgust was internalized. I'd developed a hatred for myself based solely upon the fact that my skin is of "fair coloring"...this was due to my concluding that my Anglo/Caucasian "race" had been the "root" of evil, and purveyors of all those atrocities. I became ashamed of my ancestors, and by proxy...of myself.

When a person is ashamed...especially of themselves...is it even possible for them to grow...and "become all that they can be"?

...of course it isn't.

All across this land today...millions of white people are just as ashamed of their ancestry as I have been of mine...millions have "tuned out" just as I did for so long...and rather, than really look and see the "who/what" who really controls and manipulates our thoughts and emotions...we hunker down in our own little wallows of self-depreciation and despair.

We should NOT hate ourselves...NOBODY should!

We're caught up in the same sort of malaise of "broken spirit" as the one that turned the Native American Indians...the African Americans...the Chinese American immigrants...and the Japanese American internees of WW2...into the "docile " slaves of the Corporate held/Elitist run Reality of Things.

If I'd have figured this sht out...rather then buying into the propaganda/lies all those years ago...would it have made any difference?

I don't know...perhaps...then, again...perhaps not. Many, many more intelligent, and smarter, minds than mine have also become ensnared into this modern form of mind control/ slavery.

Aldous Huxley tried to warn us about it way back in the 1940's...Kurt Vonnegut then did the same in the 60's... so have countless other writers and artists down through the years...however, the "majority" all just guffawed at their visions. Little did we realize that the cynicism we shrouded ourselves within, was the "exact tool" that would/could be used to enslave us.

I've always wondered why the "hate card" is played up so emotionally all the time...You know the one..."gotta hate this"...gotta loath that"..."hate them"..."we're getting screwed"..."it's un-fair that...blankedy-blank get's more than we do" sht....

I finally figured it out, and it doesn't "play" with me, anymore....wanna know?...It's cuz when someone is busy "hating" someone/something else...their mind isn't capable of thinking rationally.

Hate is a Tool...a tool used as a means of diversion...used as a diversion to keep us from really seeing/thinking about what's really happening out there.

Think about it...when yer pizzed off...do you ever just stop/shut up/ sit down...and rationally "look at" both sides of the equation?...try to figure out the Truth of what's going down?

Most the time, neither do I.

That has been the Game Plan on "how to rule/control the Peons" for ages...keep 'em pizzed off at one another and they won't have time to sit and think and realize they been played....they won't have the patience to sit, organize...and then Act in any sort of meaningful manner.

The Elite/Corporate Hierarchy of World Bankers, lawyers, and their political stooges have us right where they want us...by the balls...howling at the wind...and/or hunkered down and whimpering in our self-deluded anguish and misery.

This isn't the America that I thought I was growing up in...but, then,...maybe that was all just a myth...a fairy tale...a fantasy world no more real than any other created to "occupy idle minds" for awhile...

Ya think?

Desert Wanderin'...and a Quest...

2010-05-24T09:20:00.000-07:00

Ya know what I love "best" about being down here, in Ajo?

The sheer Beauty of this harsh and desolate environment.

It utterly amazes me, each and every time that I take off and explore it.

The vistas, the colors, the starkness...they all fill my senses when I get out into it...

Just South of the tailing piles (left over from the old mining days here), as you head towards Why...there is a long straight dirt road that takes off towards the East...in the far distance, you can see where it passes thru a low "gap" in the distant hills...that is named "Burro Gap"...and there are some old "stock pens" there, where 100 years ago, cowboys used to gather up their wandering herds of cattle.

...and that's about "as far" as most "normal vehicles" usually travel...'cuz the roadway gets pretty washed out and hard to traverse beyond thereabouts.

It's the "starting point" for ol' Farts like me, though...hee hee...

The road is called "Pipeline Road" 'cuz it runs parallel (for the most part) to an old natural gas pipeline ...that turns North (from Burro Gap) and runs all the way up to Casa Grande. It was installed I have no idea when....long time ago, though...

If ya travel up it, about 2-3 miles North of Burrow Gap, ya come to the most beautiful (and little know) Saguaro Forest in the whole of the Sonora Desert...it is way more beautiful, and "populated"with Saguaros, than that "so-called" Saguaro National Monument loop drive over in Tucson...hee hee...I mean, these things go on forever!...

Anyway, the road travels North, beyond there and ya come to Coffee Pot mountain...and the road really turns "bad" at pipeline milepost 66...ya positively have to have 4x4 to get any further at all...(if, ya've managed to get "this far" without it)...the road gets rougher, and steeper (both UP...and Down), and narrower..and more FUN!...."big time"...

I've been wanting, for this past year now,...to get out and "above Coffee Pot"...there's a place a couple miles further up called Marble Mtn...and then...Apache Tears Hill...just "beyond there" is a wash/ravine where, back in the early years of WW2...about 12-15 1930's cars and trucks were placed...and used by fighter pilots (in old prop planes) for strafing practice!....

"Best Part"...they's still there...and not "too badly" shot up, stripped, or..."un'salvageable" I've been told

I want to "find the place!" and take some pics...and maybe come up with some new paintings of old cars...

...Uh, but,...see the pic with my lil' truck in it?...that's as far as I've gotten ...yet...see all that desert beyond it?...that's the path taken in...See the pic just "before" it?...that's the "road" from there on up...what's not at all discernable from that pic...is just "how steep" up really is right there ( in the pic, it actually looks kinda "flat", doesn't it?...it isn't at all)...it was "steep enough" that my ol' truck just sat there...and spun the tires on the stone...even when trying to "just idle" up...sheesh!...(and trying to "idle up" with a "standard/manual" transmission ain't too easy, neither)...hee hee...oh, well....

I figure, for the "next attempt" I'll carry along one of those portable air compressor thingies...that way, when I get to this point, I can "deflate" my tires some (for traction) here on up,...then, "re-inflate" for trip back out....dats da plan...anyway...we'll see....hmmmm???

Oh, yeah...the Bottle Wall is slowly progressing, also!...hee hee...

Ya'll try and have a Great Day!...ya hear?

Same Ol' Sht...n... I'm playing with bottles...

2010-05-16T23:05:00.000-07:00

Well Sht....it's been a month...since the "last time" this ol' Fart posted....and I have been "studying" heavily in between times.

Has anybody else...."figured out"...that sht is'nt "funny" anymore?...or, in the least,....it's "kinda strange"?....

This Country is...."racing ta Hell"...in overt ways....and, far as I can see...It ain't gonna change...sigh...

I'm just an Artist....sitting, watching, and...sometimes "commenting" about what I observe....

uh,...and I "create" sht that sometimes I "sell"...hee...hee....other times, I just "do it" fer the hell of it...

I've "always loved" bottle structures (ever since I saw my 1st way back as a kid)...and my "love" was rekindled, when, during the meandering journey down this direction...I stopped thru Rhyolite, Nevada...and spent a few hours "studying" the "restored" bottle house there...I was enthralled by the "simple", but "awsum" beauty of it...I was intrigued by the amount of "work"(and "time commitment") that such an "art piece" would entail...but, I was also enamoured with the idea of "someday" attempting something of my "own"..."something" that could/would last (maybe) way beyond my "forgettable" lifetime...

Last couple of months, I've been "hard focused" upon starting the bottle wall...an 11 ft wide x 6 ft tall "pillared/sectional" yard thing that I am doing here at Lizard Flats...(I have 2 more 11 ft. wide x 6 ft. tall sections to complete after I manage to get this one up)....been collecting beer/wine bottles in this town for the past 16 months...awwwDamn!...the "drunkeness" involved in trying to be an "arteest"!!!!....heeee hee!....uh,.....Friends (and even folks I don't know) have been dropping boxes of empties by here on almost a daily basis all this past Winter Season, however, now that the Snowbirds have left, it has become a "trickle"...

Here's a pic of how "far along" it was last week...The rock part is made up of stones and small boulders that I've hauled home from my trips into the desert over this past year...(whew, I'm gonna have to haul in a hell of a lot more, yet!...to build the bases for the next 2 - 11 ft wide sections)...
...and I'm also starting to "get low" on bottles...will have to start searching out more of those as well...by the way...each of those bottles visible, is actually 2 bottles that have been cut off at 3 1/2 inches...and then duck taped bottom half to bottom half (producing a 7" long "glass brick")...that way, they won't "whistle" when the wind blows across either side of the wall face...so far, I have about 500 bottles set into place...with an "estimated" 1200-1600 yet to cut... piece together...then "install"...hee hee...and that's just to complete this wall section....

got more pics...will post them shortly....

sheesh!.....

Ya'll try and have a Great Night!...ya hear?

Cadillacs, Clowns,...and Cujo....

2010-04-14T22:39:00.000-07:00

hmmm...This ol' Fart has been spending the past few hours...watching movies...uh...DVD's....on the "other" machine here in ol' Wanderwolf (aside from the computer)....

I love movies....always have...and ever since arriving here in Ajo,...I either "borrow them" from the local library...or, I rent them from the Red Box machine over at the Circle K....Circle K has the "new sht"...comes in every Tuesday...library has the "oldies"...always there stuff...

I'm currently working my way thru the "Twin Peaks..2nd Season" compilation collection...(via the library)...but, also, stopped by the Red Box machine this afternoon...

Damn!....found a movie called "Tenderness" there...Russell Crowe's newest release...(damn!...I been a "fan" of his ever since Gladiator)...this flick sure shows another "side" to his career thinking. I've admired the guy for awhile now...I even "like" his musical endeavours...he's a very talented dude.

This movie shows him at his "subtlest"...(plus...he's also showing a "potgut" in this one...errrr...uh, is that "age"???....however, I was (once again) "surprised and delighted" by a fine performance by him.

It's a strange movie (although, I had the "story line" figured out waaay up front")...and the directing I think, was excellent...and it was "nice" to once again see upstate New York locations (where I once lived for about 20 years)...the "main thing" that I liked, though,...was Russell Crowe's narration to the tale...and the "ultimate end" where yer just left..."thinkin' 'bout sht"....

...struck "a chord" with this ol' Fart...somehow....

The other flick that I watched tonight...(again from Red Box)...was the newest Stephen King crappola released as a flick...uh, I love reading his sht...(books, novellas, short stories, etc.)...but...every damn time...some azzwipe decides to "try" and make a film out of his sht...it just becomes...uh,..."drivel"???

I rented "Dolan's Cadillac" 'cuz I read the Novella a few months ago...It caught my imagination, and thinking,...like hadn't been done since Christine...or, that "doomsday/apopolyptic thing" he wrote did...(Shit, I stayed up "all night" reading and turning pages!)..."same thing" when I read Dolan's Cadillac"...I love this dude's..."words/writing style"....

The movie was "fcked up" right from the get-go...Dolan is in a brand new Caddy Suv...uh, I "thought" the hero was watching him for years?...from the book,...Dolan always had Caddys...and (in my mind) it started out in the late 50's.early 60's...Caddy wasn't producing Suvs back then...the cars in the movie..."shoulda fckin' Varied!!!"....and then,...spend time (and the bucks) to show the years of "culture change" along the way to get to "the end"!...damn!....

,...however, despite the "hero" stating at the front...he had watched him for years...ol' Dolan still rides around in the same brand new Caddy!...whadafck???

ends up "looking like" a few months (at most) worth of "time involvement" for the scenerio...

oh, well....

...that sht aside,...the movie isn't "half-bad"...it's a good "revenge flick"....the story is fairly "truthful" to the original one...(I did see some screen writer's liberties here and there (no, it wasn't King)), but not too far removed from the original sht to "worry" about "nit-picking"...I could understand the "little sht" they let "escape" (for the sake of "drama" visually)...that books (written sht) captures more eloquently...it does not make me any happier a person, though,...seeing sht someone "slaves over getting "right"...given a "quick fix" to cover visually in a flick...sigh...but, "that's what happens"...if ya wanna sell out...er, uh,...to Hollyweird...

Christian Slater did a pretty good job of being the "bad guy"....

On a scale of 1-10...I'd place this King adaptation on about a 6...Christine being a 6, also?...Cujo an 8?...and, mayhaps,....that one about the Clown "thingie" (peeking up thru the sewer grate)...a 9?....

hee hee...ya'll try and have a Great Night!...ya got it?

P.S...."yeah"...I still keep up with the "real news".....I happen to be real pizzed off right now...with the sht I've been reading about Vets being miss-treated...and used as "mindless" slaves by our "powers that be"...(and no, I don't give a fckin' sht about the "civilian" private contractors who are dying over there!...fck them...they there fer "da Bucks"...let em' fckin' rot!)...I've been bitchin' for months about the miss-use of our young, impressionable youth...I still feel just as Strongly that the "un-intentional" (of their part) "slavery" of these kids is a Crime of the New World Order....and must be stopped...immediately! Their Health Care Must become a National Mandate...Their mental health must be taken into considerations...and resolved to THEIR (and their Families) benefits....

It is to "this Country's" benefit...When we ferget that we "owe" our Warriors...we will inevitably, own our own Fate...

and "if" ya can/can't even "bribe" someone to fight fer ya"....then...whadafck ya gonna do, Jack???

Spring Flowers and a Bottle Wall shaping up....

2010-04-12T11:01:00.001-07:00

The Sonora Desert is in Full Bloom right now...thanks to a "wetter than normal" Winter, the whole desert has a carpet of green...with wild flowers of all colors popping up everywhere...red ones, yellow ones, purple, orange, white, and pink ones, also....It is amazing to behold.

I went out riding with friend, Mark Boozer, on Saturday, in his "two-seater" ATV...I'd never ridden in one before...It was a lot of fun...getting back into areas that even my 4x pick-em-up can't get to...we crawled across places that, in retrospect, I'm sure glad we didn't get stuck...and have to walk back out of...hee hee....

I really love the "wide-open" sensation when riding in one of those things! It was amazing...the views all around like that...just isn't the same as in a vehicle with doors...

Up in one area, we followed a wash as it went into the mountains...the sides getting narrower and narrower,...slowly winding our way around rock out-croppings, and beneath over hangs,...I kept watching/seeing lizards darting out of the way, and running ahead of us. There must be "millions" of them in this desert.

I also saw 4 beautiful sized Mule deer lounging in the shade beneath a Mesquite tree up on one hillside...however, by the time I pointed them out, and we stopped and grabbed our cameras...sheesh,...they'd gotten up and boogied away!

seems like "every critter" down here moves "fast"...hee hee...guess that's part of the survival skills this place requires...it's definately a "you snooze, you lose" environment here....but, Dang!...it sure is pretty, this time of year!

Well, Steve delivered me a load of sand yesterday..."that", in combo with the cement and lime that I picked up Saturday afternoon...is allowing me to get started on the 1st 12ft. section of Bottle Wall going up here at Lizard Flats. I spent all day yesterday, cutting bottles for it...I'll post pics as it slowly starts going together.

I poured the 1st support pillar base this morning, and am headed out the door...to get busy on the 2nd one now...

Ya'll try and have a Great Day!...ya got it?

Pretty Colors...and livin' Snakes, too!...heee hee...

2010-04-09T23:21:00.000-07:00

Hmmmm....Things are "warming up" down here...in the Sonoran Desert...temps have finally gotten up into the...(dare I admit?)...60's ...at night?...and into the upper 70's...even 80's during the day???

Heee...Hee!....I fckin' Love It!

All the desert is wild right now!....the rains this past few months have "done their job"...and where, come Summer, there will be "barely any living sht"....right now....there is grass...."greenerie"...and flowers sprouting everywhere...

It is a "mind-blower" down here right now.

I had to "make a run" to Tucson (VA sht) a couple of days ago...It's a couple hours drive from here...two lane road....130 miles, each way...across the old Popago Reservation....I mentally "kicked myself" for having fergotten to bring/take my camera with me.

I've never (in the past 3 years here)...seen this "desert"....so damned "Green"...nor, "as pretty" along that route.

....and the flowers alongside the Highway just "blew me away"!.....Purples, Blues, Yellows, Oranges, Whites, and Reds...the "whole Pallet" was there...to "augment the "greens" of sht growing over the "so-called"...Desert Dirt....there's even "grass" everywhere down here right now, that climbs up the "walls" of cliffs of the mountinsides...that are "normally"....uh, "baren"...and forboding?....hee...hee!....!

I've never "seen this place" as Beautiful as it is "Right Now!!"...(Psst: Rick!...ya gotta load Carol onto yer bike...and come over this weekend!...Yer gonna love the ride from Tucson! I'll be here with beer tomorrow afternoon/evening!)

Tomorrow morning...I have been invited to go 4 wheel ATVing with Mark Boozer, and his Dad....(yeah, that's their real last name....hee hee)...They "old-school" Ajoites...born/raised here....and "Daddy" been wandering this desert for over 50 years....He wants to "show me some sht"....(to maybe paint)....that he say's that he has never taken anyone else "out there" to see.

I'm tickled "pink" right now.

"We"...gonna "go play"....in da Sonoran Desert.... tomorrow morning!!!!

I'll take my camera....and post sum pics...when I get back!

OOps!....Saw/met my "very first Rattle Snake" yesterday...here (almost) in the yard...it was what is called a "Coon Tail" (...was about 3' long and had some black/white stripes at the end of it's tail...just in front of it's 4,(maybe 5) rattles)...I was really "enamored" with trying to "study" his colors, markings, and just....uh, "beauty"...while at the same time,...realizing....damn!...there's kids in the yards around here.....so, I grabbed a 5 gallon bucket and managed to "capture it" and "held it" until the Animal Control lady got here...then, she grabbed it (with her tongs)...put it into a box....and then promised me that she would "release it" Out There... (as I asked)...into the desert...(where I am going to go "riding" tomorrow!)...duh!....

am I really as "dip-sht as I look", in retrospect,...to myself?....hee...hee....

...ain't Life....one "Wild n Crazy"...experiment....when ya really do sit down...and "Think About it?"....

Hee...hee!....

Ya'll try and have a Great Night!...ya got it?

Things ya do...when yer mouse dies...

2010-04-05T21:27:00.000-07:00

hmmm...sure causes a "crimp" in one's lifestyle nowadays...when one's mouse decides to up and die on ya.

I wasn't aware that I had let this "computer sht" get so all-involving in my daily life...I wasn't aware of just how much I've grown to depend upon being able to just jump on-line whenever I wanted to do some research...or scan some pics...enlarge/print out sketch work...or, just catch up on news...or, just "waste" hours of time just "wandering around" and discovering interesting stuff...

I never realized it...until my mouse died suddenly...and I became unable to even get my computer to open up...sheesh!

I also discovered that I'd have to wait a whole 2 weeks...before I'd be able to buy a new one, with which to replace the deceased electronic piece of sht...dang!

...so...how did I waste my "leisure time" while unable to get on-line?

I borrowed a bunch of DVDs from the local library...and spend evenings re-viewing old movies I hadn't seen in years..."re-discovering" old memories, and old fascinations all over again...damn,...I love old movies...sigh...

I used to love (and still do) the old Alfred Hitchcock flicks...especially the Cary Grant ones...North by Northwest my "special " favorite...I then got into some old English Agatha Christy stuff...not quite "as boring" as I had thought they were a few years ago.

I've also been doing some sketch work for a few new painting ideas...just "doodles" yet...but a couple are worth continuing "playing" with...and "fine tuning"...

I've been working on a large, cement Javelina inside the shop, too...it's still in the "ugly" stages of construction...I'll post some pics soon...

I'm also about ready to start assembling the 30 foot "bottle wall" that will replace the old falling down wood fence here in the side yard where I park Wanderwolf. I've been collecting wine and beer bottles for it, (people from all over this community have been dropping their bottles off here for over a year now)...I'm running out of "storage space"for them all...got a load of sand, and a pallet of cement coming in next week (I think)....and then the "fun will begin"!...hee hee...

well...time to get off this thing...I have the collected "Godfather" movies to finish up watching tonight...never did see the 3rd one of those...somehow, I'd "missed it" when it was first released...

Ya'll try and have a Great Night!...ya got it?

Same Fckin' Right....

2010-03-21T21:35:00.000-07:00

When this ol' Fart..."returned from" Viet-nam....

I became a recluse.

I hid from society...I kept "my sht private"..I eventually found other Bros...doing the same sht.

How cum...."Murder" ya admit to...."in war"....is not considered "the same"...as those ya might "commit" when ya "get back Home"????

How cum...."Sht is....Excused"...if it happens "outside" our particular...."borders"...as "job descriptions"...but does not "work da same"...once a Warrior returns "Home"???

How Cum...a whole "lotta" our current Vets...have "mental problems"....and are being "rail-roaded" for "being" the killing machines the government "designed/built/trained them" to be???

I'm just "curious"....

Sht get's "deep" sometimes....when in "combat situations"....sht "happens"....and it's "okay over "there" to take yer best shot at survival...but, then....ya make it back alive....and then ya gotta try and "figure out a whole new way....of "surviving again"..once ya get back to...."the World".

Some "returning kids"...have a harder time at 'figuring this sht out"...than others do....

Ya (any of ya) Aware of the Fact...that a whole "new Generation" of young Veterans...are being left out in the Cold?????

I am a Viet-Nam Vet...and I spend time, once a month...running 120 miles each way...just going back, n forth to "get/keep" mysht together at the V.A....I've been "doin' diz sht...."...for almost 40 fckin' years now! (not "specifically here"to Tucson, but V.A./me, I mean)....

When "I'm There"...(over at the V.A.)....I talk with other, younger Vets....I find out that "they"...are being "fcked around" waaaay beyond "da Sht"...."We" usta "know/came back Home and found" from 'Nam....

....seems the "powers dat be"....have finally figured out "The How" ta truly "Rule Sht"

SIGH....

Didya Know...."They"...."double/triple dip" them???...Did ya know that even though they "sign up" for only a year/18 months commitment ta "Battle Zone" (outa their total "6 year "total" signed commitment...if yer "job description" says that "They need ya"...ya don't get allowed "OUT"???...They call it "Stop Loss"...(Yeah, I know a "little girl" that joined the Guard(back in 2001)...and "They" won't let her fckin' OUT!....She keeps gettin' "Orders/Re-assignments"...cuz of her "job description"....I told her back in 2002 (after her return from her 1st over-seas assignment),"Hon, it's Their contract...Ya signed up for 6 years"...( per the old sht I had signed/done)....only, it's "changed now"....She's done her "time"...(waay more than I'da put up with)...she's spent a full 7 years in Hell...(6 in actual "combat zone" and...one beyond her legal "total" agreement)...and she want's out....but, They threaten her with Prison....They say that they'll "take her kids"...They say that...."She "owes" this Country"...(Yeah, she showed me the letters).....

She's 25 years old (almst 26 now)...joined the National Guard back in '01 (just prior to 9/11 at the age of 17)...cuz she was looking for a "way" to get a college education (senior in High School at the time)....and came from a lower "middle-class" family....She's "intelligent"...a "middle-class" American citizen...yet,...she is a "slave".....

and she now has a personal "body-count" that surpasses the one that I had at her age.

Am I jealous?

...uh,...yeah,...I'm still lookin' ta kill more "Gooks fer God"!!!!

(Only kidding,...Damn!,....anybody "really understand" the pleas this ol' Fart "throws out there" for Humanity????)

She's been "There"...(to war)...4 fckin' times now...her "Service Time (7 Years) is/should be OVER!...but, They won't "Let Her Out!"....(need her Job Description They say ...she's a "grunt"(nothin' "fancy")....

"NEW AGE"....SLAVERY....if ya ask me....

I know kids that have been "over there"....3-4 times running...their "service" extended beyond their "original commitment of 6 years"...into "adnausium"...

Start checking this sht out, People!.....it is happening!....It is Real!.

and the government keeps doing this sht!!

Call yer Congressman...tell him....that IF...He wants to keep this "war sht" going...He better Vote to BRING BACK the DRAFT!....

hee hee!...That's the Only Fckin' way that enough People will start Knowing what is going on....and maybe uprise to Stop it...and, hopefully,...our bullsht "wars" will get stopped!

"Life"...is about ....

being....

"Human"...

and realizing that....

"Everyone Else"....

....also has the same Fckin' ...."RIGHT"!!!!!!

Ya'll try and find a Good Night!....Ya got it?.....

Sonoran Spring...

2010-03-19T00:04:00.000-07:00

Wanna know "why"...I love this amazing place?...all of these pics were taken while standing in one spot...simply turning around..and clicking away....on top of a "rise"...only about 3 miles...and 20 minutes "out of town"....the "vistas" out here just rock my senses....

...and "fill" my soul.

Roads to the "west"...turn into dirt...just outside the area that the powerlines end...only rigs ya see out here are "self-contained"...Boondockers...here n there....(way more of them this "season" than I've seen out here the past 3 I've been here)...

The desert is way "more green" than I've seen it before, too...and getting greener by the day...must have a whole lot to do with the rain we've had this year.

Blooms are just starting to "sprout" on the fauna...temps are only just now reaching the mid-70's during the day...give it another week (or so)...and I'll bet this desert just "bursts" out in some amazing colors!...

I'm gonna go back out there...to "this place"...next week...and take some new pics to show here....that way, ya can maybe see the "magic" too....

Ya'll try and have a Great Night!....ya hear?

P.S...."Born on a mountaintop in Tennessee....greenest land ya ever did see...Killed him a b'ar...when he was only 3...."....Damn!....my other American Hero (of childhood memory) died yesterday....Fess Parker....(Dan'l Boone/ Davy Crockett)....rest in peace, ol' son...sigh....a "good life"...ya run.

Sonoran Goddess

2010-03-16T21:25:00.000-07:00

Remember...when I said that I'd post pics of the "Lady"...once she was delivered down to the gallery?...hee hee...(yeah, I remember that I "promised them" the next day)....but...sometimes..."sht runs deep"...and shores ain't as close ta hittin'...as ya think they might be....hee hee....

Turns out...she's a "whole lot..."heftier" then originally thunk...(too "heavy" to "hand-truck" down there like I thought we could do)...had to sit back...

...and drink a few brews...while "thinkin' da new sht out"....

...and then Steve came wandering over towards sunset....and we "talked about it" again...explained our "problem"...and Steve..."smiled"...hee hee...(the minute I saw his lips try to grin....I "knew" that he could save this ol' dumbfck's azz)....

Steve looked at me,...and said,..."Wolf, I have a Bobcat, that I think has a bucket wide enough to fit the base of her into"...(turns out that it was "exactly" just wide enough)....

...anyway,...Steve was here with his Bobcat, very bright and early Sunday morning...(9 A.M. to be exact)...and I had told friends to be here by the "more respectable hour"...of 12...uh, sigh....

Not to seem like "lazy"...shee...I got dressed and hurried out to help Steve get her into his bucket...and we took her the 6 blocks down to the Curley School Gallery...

She's now standing under the Mesquite tree...right in front of the gallery.

Remenber her..."under construction"?...

took over 6 months to finish this piece.

She weighs about 600/700 pounds...fero cement over a rebar/foam skeleton....

She's gonna "survive" way longer than this old Fart is ever gonna!...hee hee....

I Love...building sht...that is gonna "outlive" my puny azzed self!!!

People who have wandered into the shop these past 6 months, and watched her coming "together"...have asked me her "story"...

I explain it here:
I grew up loving old photographs of Native American culture...especially, the "old" black/white photos of 100 years ago...(E.S.Curtis, etc.)...

In all my studies, I especially was enthralled by the old photos of the Popago women...carrying the water jugs upon their heads...for "some reason" that particular image stuck in my head since youth....it just seemed to "symbolize" Strength, Duty, and Endurance of the Feminine Spirit to me.

Of all "images" of our Country's Native Americans...those old pics of the Popago Women with jugs on their heads...struck my heart strings more "solidly" than any others...

This sculpture, which I call Sonoran Goddess...is a "tribute" to the Strength...endurance...and never ending servitude to the world, and men, of their time...of these past and present "Sonoran Desert" women...it is an attempt at "gratitude" for them having "carried the waterjug" (as well as provided the meals)...that enabled Men to do their sht...past...and present...

I know that I'm a Jackazz...and "known" for my irreverent
spewings and meanderings of thought...(hee hee)...

However, I have always held a very High Regard towards Womanhood/Motherhood...that nobody can/will...ever be able to "call me out" on...
....'cept...perhaps..."this particular pic"...where I'm "copin' a feel" on her tit....hee hee....(never said I were'nt a smartazz, did I?

for my GrandKids....

2010-03-12T20:49:00.000-08:00

Sometimes...I just drift...I drift with memories...I drift with thoughts of..."how sht was"..."how sht mighta beens"...and try my fckin' damndest....not ta "get that way"...again...(uh, the "thinkin' 'bout it", I mean)

I hate...being the "asshole"...that I know that...I am.

I hate...looking back upon "my life"...and knowing that...uh, Hey, Stupid!....I shoulda done sht..."different"....

Damn!...ain't that sht....a bitch?

sigh....

I'm a 60....+....year old Fart now....and I sometimes (more often than I used ta think about),,,"wonder what" ....ever happened to ..."da World I used ta Know".....

It's totally....fckin' GONE now...

and I sit here...and wonder..."was it MY fckin' fault????"

Last "thing" that I can put a handle on...I just returned from "my war"....and I wandered around, fucked up...fcked off, eventually married....raised kids....and then,...."tried" ta figure sht out....(hee hee)....hey, give me a break...."Nobody Knows" whatdafck dey wanna "do"...till they at least are approaching....30....right????

(at least....in "my World".....)....

which is "why"...I give my kids.... "lots of space"...neither of them are 30 yet.

I sit here...and "watch"....I sit here and "worry"....I sit here...and realize that some sumobitch went and changed the "gameplan" that I grew up with.

I sit here...and "stew" in my anger.

I watch the supposed "possibilities" that a "middle-class" American in-come earner can "expect for a return" upon his years of fckin' service to this fckin'..."system"..and "what" my kids have ahead of them...

It pizzes me off..

I used to ride a bike...that had a sticker...that said, "uh, sht,...maybe I fcked up"...uh,...ya know what?...It were'nt me.

It's the fckin' AZZholes...being the fckin' "politicians" supposedly representing "us" out there!

They ALL need to be throw into the gutter...RePubs...Democraps...don't fckin' matter...Toss every fckin' one of them out!

Just this ol' Fart's thinkin'....

I got Grand kids...still too fckin' "young" to become "paracite slaves" for the corporate wannabe "overlords"...

Anybody "out there" have any ideas about "how to stop" dis sht????

Pssst:....Tomorrow,...gonna post some new pics of the "Sonoran Goddess" sculpture...yeah, she's "done"...and we be taking her down to the Caffeteria Gallery... for the "Heart of the Sonoran Desert" show they have from the 13th- to the middle of next month....I been told that They (the "boss Lady" came by the studio this afternoon) "want her there"...but...hee hee..."she's too tall...too heavy, to allow inside"....(to get in the building)....uh, wha ya talkin' 'bout Willis????...my "crew" and I...can get her in there!.....(we'll "install her" in da fckin' yard out front...if "need be"....)
The parade of "walking her down" ( the 5 block distance 'tween here and there...) get's underway at noon tomorrow....hee hee...hopefully, we'll hit the local paper with our "meandering"...hee hee....

...be nice...if somebody buys it...that way I won't have ta buy beers...fer the friends ta help me drag it back uphill...to home....uh, right?....hee hee....(yeah, bringing it back...will be all "uphill")...sigh...(already payin' fer the 30 pack ta get us there "this month")....hee hee!....

but..."that's"...how we "live"...here in "Bumfck, Arizona"...we sit, wonder, drink a beer, and speculate...and then just "backoff"...and have another beer...and "think about it"...uh, "speculate it"... sht....

took us 2 months ( and countless beers) to finally figure out...how ta get the 700 pound/10 foot tall concrete sculpture out of the 8 foot tall door ( uh, told ya I'm a "drunk", didn't I?)....hee hee....of the shop....!...now, she's "outside"...and ready to go...."Public"....hee hee....

and I got a few fellow"Sober Drunks" 'spossed ta be here tomorrow ta help me....hee hee...."we'll see"....

Ya'll try and have a Great Evening...ya got it?

"Life is a Party!....if Ya know how ta play it".....

Ol' Farts...'n Guitars....

2010-03-01T21:47:00.000-08:00

Here we areeee...again...Another "impromptu" night of beer chugging'...and just general..."carousing around" at Lizard Flats....

I was "up" this morning early...and out in the shop by 8:30...managed to put in an "un-interrupted 9 hours...( unheard of lately)...then...about 6 this evening...a couple "ol' Fart" friends dropped by...

uh...we "combined" monies (end of month sht, don;t ya know...hee hee)...and realized that we "had enough"...to go ahead and get some beer!....

...Upon return from "da Beer Store"...they also brought in their "guitar boxes"...and a small amp (this time)...hee hee..

Damn!...they wanted to be "electrified" tonight!!!

I'm only "used to" hearing "acoustic" sht down here....

The "2 eyed" (bearded) old Fart is Steve...the "single eyed" Fart is Joe...Damn!...they played sum "Sht" tonight!

Joe has been playing for 40+ years...Steve has been playing for 30...together they laid down some "sweet sht" tonight...ol' Joe is the "first" ..."right handed" guitar picker I've ever seen, down thru the years,... that can (and does) ol' Jimi Hendrix sht..."correctly"(although "flip-handed")... hee hee.....

(uh, for those that didn't know...Jimi...used to play a "flipped over" (flip-handed) guitar...un-re-stringed, or re-tuned...left-handed...used to fck up minds of guitarists World-wide (even Paul McCartney (Beatles) re-strung his , in order to play left-handed...instead of just "flippin' it" and "fingered it" same as right handers (only "backwards handed")...Hendrix's "flipped sht"... "dumbfounded" him... trying to figure out his "fingering" of the thing...ol' Joe "does it"..."back"......"right handed" better than even Eric Clapton can/has been able to figure it out.)

I "hear ya " Tony...hee hee...yer gonna wanna argue with me on this...all I gotta say,..."get yer butt down here...Listen to this fcker...watch "His" sht"....it is truly "unreal"...ain't just the "doin' it right" sht...it's the "correct sht" that makes the diff...and most just can't "do it" if ya know what I mean....

Lil' Sht....(and I)...were their only audience this night...damn shame "that"...hee hee....

Life is "Sweet" down here in Ajo, Arizona...ya never "know" when "fun" might come "knockin' at yer door"...! ! !

Ya'll try and have a "fun night"...ya got it?

P.S..... Wanderwolf and I....will be heading to Tucson tomorrow afternoon...it'll be the first time ol' Wanderwolf has been "away" from Lizard Flatz in about 6 months...I figured that she "needs" to exercize her joints...hee hee...uh, we are planning upon going on down into Mexico, come Summer,...might as well "find out" if she's still "road worthy"...right?....We hope to "exercize" her at least once a month t'ween now and then...
While in Tucson...we will "reside" at Tucson Mountain R.V. Park...on Ajo Highway.... "First Beer's on Me"...if any readers decide to drop by....hee hee....

Recent Visitors... Rambles...and Art...

2010-02-25T08:06:00.000-08:00

We've had some interesting guests stop by Lizard Flats lately...

I arose a few days ago, to find this beautiful Harris Hawk sitting in the upper branches of the large Mesquite tree out front...wow, the color patterns on these birds is beautiful...too bad my "picture taking" didn't do it justice...(oops!...my loading order sucks too...hee hee)

And then...Yesterday,...Little House on Wheels blogger, Pepper and her Mom stopped by ! I never realized (from her blog)...how "short" both of them are!...hee hee.... The 3 of us spent the afternoon checking out an Indian cemetery I knew of,...and the old, abandonded Popago village site of Chico Shunie...over on the Cabeza Prieta National Wildlife Refuge.

(Special Note: Any visitors to the Prieta...even hikers) now must register and get a Permit...before wandering out there...this is easily done by stopping into the Prieta Office here in Ajo. This "new rule" is due to the illegal "traffic" using the Refuge as an egress into the country these days.)

I had hoped that the Ladies might stick around for a couple of days,...however, I must have "worn them out" in only one afternoon...hee hee...as they dumped me off upon our arrival back into town...and headed out towards the sunset!...Dang!...

I then hooked up with my buddy John and celebrated Beer Thirty for a little while...then went over to the weekly Guitar Jam at Milley's Bakery...wow...there were some great pickers there last night! Perhaps by next "season" this ol' Fart might be confident/talented/brave enough to go ahead and carry my guitar over and sit in with them...

All has not been just "fartin' around" around this place lately, though...I have been "working some" also...Here's a pic of a cement Lion that I did a couple of weeks back...it's 4' in diameter and it is currently on display over at the Cafeteria Gallery, in their annual "Red Show"...it'll be there until mid-March.

I've also got another commission to get busy on...and some ideas for some new paintings that need to be "got out"....as well as the final coat of cement on "the Lady" to finish up. I am aiming to try and have her "finished" for the new "Art from the Heart of the Sonora" show at the Cafeteria Gallery by mid-March...don't know yet, if I'll make it in time...

Time to get back to work!...

Ya'll try and have a Great Day!...ya got it?

"Good Life " stuff....

2010-02-22T08:58:00.000-08:00

Another cold...and wet one... down here in Ajo today...sigh...been "enough of them" this past month to "assure" that the desert here is really "gonna be sumthin'to see" in the next few weeks...

Old Timers here are all in agreement that "This Spring Season is going to be a Spectacular one!"

Mid March...that's "the time" to be down here if ya want to see some amazing Sonora Desert blooms and colors!...

Some of the "early" bloomers are already starting...because of the recent (and drenching) rains, the desert is "greened up" with grasses, and fresh leafed bushes.... and there are yellow blossoms appearing on some of the Creosote bushes already...I've also noticed a few red buds starting on some of the Ocotillas around the area.

Another "annual occurrence" this time of year...is the "return" of the Buzzards!...I've been told that this usually happens around the 2nd week of February,...however, they were about a week "late" this year...due, I think, to the still "chilly" nights of low temps we've been having yet.

John and I spotted the 1st small "flock" of them this past Saturday evening...circling lazily down near a night roosting tree that they use near the Plaza...these were the 1st we've seen since mid-November...Them "being back" is generally the 1st sign that warmer temps...and Spring is finally on it's way!...This year, some of the floral blooms...beat them...hee hee...

I've been talking with long time "locals" and looking at my maps...planning out some "back roads" little day expeditions that I intend to take...and just go out and see "what I find" out there. ..should be some amazing "Kodak Moments" somewhere in it all.

I've also got to get my application filled out and returned so that I can get my permit to go out exploring on the Cabeza Prieta Wildlife Refuge this year. I really want to see some Pronghorns and perhaps even some Desert Rams...and Springtime is the "best time" for that!

Might end up with some "material/inspirations" for some new paintings...or even some sculptures out of it,...ya think?...hee hee....

Yep, the "winter humdrums" are almost over...time to get off my azz...and get to doing the "good life stuff" again!

Ya'll try and find a Great Day!...ya hear?

Townes Van Zant...

2010-02-20T21:10:00.000-08:00

Warning Up Front...

This ol' Fart got Drunk (on cheap beer)...again tonight.

I'm "ad-libbin' what I put here"...(same ol' sht I always do)....hee hee...

(means I don't "write dis sht out ahead of time") before I sit down and start "ramblin' on!...

Anyway, now that sht is admitted up front....

I want to know...from those of you that "read" my sht "regularly"...

Have any of you ever listened to Townes Van Zant?

Ever even... heard of him?

He's dead now...and it's a fckin' Shame that this dude never was "accepted" as the Artist/Poet/Real Person of Talent... that he was.

This ol' Fart has been a "fan" of his sht... for years....(I always wanted to "somewhere" bump into him...and buy him a beer....)....

He never got/maintained/wanted... any kinda real "corporate" backing for his music...

He was a junkie...had a drug problem that he could/didn't ever shake...sigh....

He had "no control" over his life...or...his "habits"...

awww....but, his "music" was so fckin' sweet...and filled with "poetry in motion"...Unbelievable Sht....

He did record a few albums here, and there...and a hell of lot of "current (popular) music artists" know his name...and marvel at/are inspired by his "sht"...

I'm not a "music artist"...but,...Townes Van Zant...was a "Poet"...that I am very fckin' sorry to know is..."gone".

He is also one that I am "pizzed off" that the Corporate Powers that be... never allowed/gave a larger "voice" to...

This man was waaay "better" than Guthrie, Dylan, Cash,... or/and...????...."anyone else" they have ever "offered up there" as a "spokes person" for the anguish and angst of "common" (little people) that all of us "peons" are allowed to listen to/be........(personal opinion here, folks!)...hee hee....

I've been sitting here tonight...listening to his sht for a few hours now...over and over again...and tears fill my eyes at "the loss"...and "anger"...creeps into my soul, too....

Questions of "why" ...Why did "they" ignore/censor/ ignore/cast away this guys music the way that they did while he was alive and struggling?....why are they only now..."marketing" his sht?...uh, has it anything to do with the fact that he's now...uh,..."gone"???

..."now"...they "feel safe" enough to go ahead and "promote" his sht?

uh, "to who's profit"??? doe's this sht work?

seems like a "Damned if ya do...damned if we won't" situation anymore...die...and "they" get rich from yer sht.

Fck Dat!....sigh....

He did a song called "Fare Thee Well, Miss Carousel"...that I have always liked/loved...tonight I kept playing it "over and over" again...trying to "hear" the guitar licks in it ('cuz I wanna be able to play it one day)...and each time I listened...I heard/hear different "meanings to" the lyrics he was singing along with the licks....(Damn!)....

and his song, "Quick Silver Dreams of Marie" just blows me away as the "ultimate song" of love lost...but, never forgotten....

Townes Van Zant was an Artist/Poet extraordinaire...and it's a real shame that his sht was never allowed to get the exposure it required/needed while he was alive.

Do me a "favor"???...Find "Fare Thee Well Miss Carousel"...and listen to it...over and over...at least 8-10 times in a row....listen to his lyrics...concentrate/focus upon the "visions/questions" the lyrics put in yer mind...

...and Post back on this blog page...what ya discover?

I'm curious if "his sht" affects others...as it did/does me.

Ya'll try and have a Great Night!...ya got it?....hee hee!....

Pussies...n...Bitch Slaps....

2010-02-19T19:56:00.000-08:00

Can't help myself, sometimes....

Sometime's I "do sht" that I know, way deep down, that it would be "better" to just stay away from...

Cigarettes are one of them...so are cigars...and my favorite pipes, now and then.

Beer...is another one of them.

The "smokes"... I listen to my doctor, and "friends" tear me a new azzhole about... and I say,...(after listening to their pussy-whipped, fear-based diatribe)..."uh, people die of cancer who have never smoked a day in their life...far as I'm concerned, all datsht ya just spouted means is that smoking Ain't fer Pussies...besides,...it is one of only a couple pleasures this ol'Fart is still able to Enfcknjoy in life!...so...get over it!"

The "beer"...hee...heee...same basic sht...uh, 'cept they say it fries brain cells and causes eventual kidney failure, (insert yer own...no, I do not "drive" even after only one beer)...sht!...uh, "People!...the fck'n FOOD ya eat is killing us/YOU!!!...yer gonna "hardazz" me over fckn beer????

Get a fckin' life!...er, "at, least"...a CLUE!

It's a "fear-based life" in this country anymore....Fear this, fear that....uh,...Hey, Dummies!....pssst:...We're all gonna DIE anyway!....where's the "wrong" in having "fun" along the pathway...(as long as ya ain't fckin' with anyone else's "space")...???

and yeah, I believe that "helmet laws" are a personal enfringment (this from the brother of a rider whose helmet "snapped" his neck)...but, "gratefully" my brother died...rather than "live on as a vegetable"...placing burdens untold upon family and loved ones left behind...FCK what the insurance companies tell ya about "everybody's insurance is Higher when un-helmeted riders are allowed out there"....that's horsesht ( Bullsht!) designed to line their own pockets!...Helmets are only "safer" in a "low speed/fall over sideways" type of accident...not in any "frontal" type...(which is the main type that happens on highways and streets across this Nation)...Frontal accidents (at any relative "street speed" results in snapped necks...and resulting "revenue" for affiliated "health care" providers...(uh, "if" there is a "survivor"/family to bilk for the care providing)...

The "ingraining of Fear" starts early. It is a "fine science" in our modern society....and every fckin' bit of it is intentionally fostered off on us by....Corporate America...to help them screw us... enslave us...and reap even bigger profits than last year's were.

We are ALL dying, anyway...it's the "nature" of life!...From the moment we are born...we are headed to death...what's da "big" deal?...I ain't scared....are you?

Religions are just another form of "corporations"...designed by man...to "play us" and make a profit...based upon ...Fear.

Uh, Huh...this is from an ol' Fart...now living in the depths of the Sonora Desert...but, who once sought out "truths" and searched to save his own soul from hell for the "sins" he had done for "God and Country" when he was still "too wet behind the ears" to know any better....uh, huh, he "searched so long" that he was even once an "ordained minister" of one of those fckin' corporate "churches"!...(yeah, Mindy..."long after" the Moonie bullsht, when I finally went" legit route"...hee hee...)...until he finally "sawdaTruth" of the horsesht realm of it "All"...

Everything's a Bullsht game...
...and then,... ya die....
why can't we learn to Laugh?
...instead of... Cry?

I'm still trying...hee hee...and my drinkin' beer...and savoring a smoke, really isn't any sort of "important sht" to bust my azz about.

This fckin' world has waaay more "important sht" going on in it than whether, or not this ol' Fck gets cancer...or drinks hisself to death...now, doesn't it?

Get off yer own azzes...and raise some sht of yer own over the atrocities!...I don't give a fck about Tiger Woods...nor the whores claimin' he fcked them!....I don't give a sht about whether Makenzie Phillip's daddy fcked her, or not...nor, how many times! Sht! I never liked the bitch on that ol' tv show she was on, back when she (now) claims that Daddy was boffin' her skinny azz!... Where's the "real news" in the media attention span anymore? Digging up "bones"...hee hee...on "trivia" sht?...as though it "matters" to us (as a collective) group of "thinking people"...? I fckin' doubt it.

Are people really as stupid...as the media/corporations/politicians seem to think they are?

I haven't seen any "proof" otherwise.

I wanna know WHY nobody is getting pizzed off at our so-called "elected Leaders"...and demanding that our sons and daughters be brought back Home?....why we don't raise voices of outrage loud enough to stop the Banker/Wall Street/Government "in cahoots" sht?...

This started out as a place..."for the People, by the People" situation...whadafck happened?

Whadafck?...uh, "WE" as a Nation of "pussies" too pussy-whipped to smoke...or drink...anymore...also too pussy-whipped to rise off our collective azzes and "bitch-slap" a Congressman/woman , or Senator, when they need it?

We "too Pussy" to stand up as "Individuals of Import" any more at all???...then "fck it"...let the Corporations continue to take every fckin' thing they want...it's "their world" now...

...long as I get my fckin beer...and smokes!....

Sigh....

Ya'll try and have a Great Night....ya hear?

Last Night...

2010-02-19T06:17:00.000-08:00

I was walking through a large Native American Veteran's PowWow/Encampment, being held on a hillside, Aspen tree'd area, somewhere in the western mountain states. It was early Fall, and I was awed by the riotous colors of the leaves, and the quaking splendor of the Aspens, in particular.

As I wandered around, I noticed campsites of differing cultures and tribes. Over there, were Blackfeet...over there, Popago...over there, Lakota...I even saw some Eskimos socializing in one area of "stick" huts (that resembled igloos when I squinted my eyes just right).

I wandered on, eventually coming to a Crafts/Bazaar area...where booths were loaded with goods and staffed by appropriately attired representatives of each particular tribe...Hopi's selling beautiful pottery, Navahos displaying gorgeous rugs, etc. All around me were beautiful women and children, laughing, playing, and socializing under the warm Fall sun. I wove my way slowly through them, marveling at the sense of peace I was witnessing all around me.

I followed the trail of the old road as it wandered further into the quaking Aspen trees, feeling the gentle breeze upon my face. People smiled at me as I passed amongst them. I smiled in return. Eventually, I came out of the trees, onto a large grassy sloped hillside, and walked out into it, where there were also numerous little "groupings" of people...sitting on the slope, again, laughing, playing, and socializing...children playing games, women (and men) gathered into friendly groups of talking and laughter. I walked on through, following the beaten pathway of the old roadway, eventually arriving back into the woods.

I glanced around and noted RV's here and there, tents, camp trailers, and campsites scattered amongst the trees, and realized that this was the "sleeping area" of the get together. It appeared to be quite large...perhaps the largest "gathering" I had ever been to.

I slowly wandered on...eventually coming to what I took to be the "shop/seminar" area of the thing. I'd guessed correctly...I walked in and started looking at the materials on the tables, and amongst the booths...lot of Vet stuff...patches, memorabilia, and "self help" literature...and a lot of Vets, spouses, and "people in general" wandering around. Some of them wore heavily "patched" vests and jackets, some of them wore their Legion Hats, (or other such), some of them looked like yer "everyday" citizen (no "patches" or "group association" stuff at all)...but, they all had the "look" in their eyes. As I walked amongst them, we all silently acknowledged one another...no words, just a brief locking of eyes, and a slight nod to one another...as we passed in the night...Vets "do that" (with one another) when we meet "in public", but don't really know each other. We recognize each other by "the look" we see in one another's eyes...

Anyway, I'm wandering through, when suddenly a voice behind me says,"Michael!...oh it's so nice to see you, again!...How are you?"

I turn, and see a honey haired, green eyed beauty of a lady, that I have no memory of ever having met before in my life. She smiles the most beautiful and warm smile I have ever seen.
I am mystified...enthralled, ..and embarrassed,...all at the same time.

How could I ever forget a face like that? I ask myself.

I stumble on my words, as I ask, "I'm sorry...Have we met before?"

She laughs with crystal laughter, "oh yes!...It was a while back...at Cupids"... she smiles again...

I remember Cupid's...but...

"I only ever went there once." I answer back,..."and that was years ago."...calculating to myself..."fck!...30 years ago!"...

and I still couldn't remember her...sigh...

"I'm sorry", I mutter...then, "Uh, how'd you recognize "me", after all that time (and possibly only one date, I say to myself)?"

She smiles that melting smile again, then says, "because I see you...every night..."

before she could continue...I woke up.

ARGH!...damn, I hate it when "something" wakes this ol' Fart from a cool dream!...try as I might, I can never "get back" to where it ended and "see" where it goes from there....ain't it a bitch????

Ya'll try and have a Great Day!...ya hear?

Visitors to Lizard Flatz...

2010-02-17T06:46:00.000-08:00

It's been an "interesting" Snowbird Season down here in Ajo this winter...a lot of folk's in town...some just passing thru, others hanging around a while...and a whole lot of them stopping by Lizard Flatz to see "what's up with this place with the huge lizard on the wall"...hee hee....

I've even sold a couple of paintings these past few weeks....now "that's" always nice. Most folks that stop by, do so out of curiosity when they simply happen to be driving past, and then notice the lizard. I'll bet there's at least 10-12 pics get taken of the thing each day. I'da never foreseen it as being the "attraction" that it seems to have become. A few of the "braver souls" go ahead and pull in...to ask questions, and see "whatelse" might be around to look at.

It all is rather "flattering", however, it also embarrasses me a trifle,too...being a "celebrity" of sorts. I'm just not real good at handling "fame"...even such "minor style" as this makes me uneasy for the most part. Yesterday was a prime example...

I had a man and his wife stop in...traveling the area in their 5th wheel...from Hot Springs, Arkansas.... He smiled and stated, "Hi, I'm a blog reader of yers"...immediate embarrassment flushed through this ol' Fart....images of all my drunken ramblings down through these past months filled my mind...."awww, sht"...I said to myself...as I sheepishly muttered an apology for my "behavior" to him...Much to my surprise, he smiled, and said that he actually "enjoys" my diatribes!...hmmmm...imagine that.

Funny, I totally ferget that this "blog thing" gets read by a whole lotta folks that I don't know, let alone think about, when I'm rattling off at the mouth...sheesh, this same sorta sht...used ta get me into arguments (and sometimes even fights) when I usedta hang out... mouthing my spews... in bars....hee hee...

Anyway, we visited for a few minutes, and I just couldn't "shake" my embarrassment for some reason. Hell, I'm just an old Fart who has made a "failure"of life (for the most part), who stumbled into his present situation through blind stupidity and liberal dousings of beer! I paint, create with cement, and play the artist card..."because" I am no good at personal relationships stuff!

When people make a "big deal" outa anything that I "create"...it embarrasses me...cuz, I know...inside...that all they are seeing is just the "surface sht" I allow them to see....those that read my ramblings, "see" a bit deeper. They see the angst, anger, and pathos that lurks in the depths of this ol' Fart.

Now that I've let that "out there"...it sometimes is embarrassing to bump into the actual people I have revealed that part of me to....but,...at the same time, it is sooo damned "nice" to know that those people now and then, take the time to just stop by in person, to say "Hello"...and help me realize that, "hey, some even like me anyway."....

It helps me know...that I am not wandering this "darkness" alone anymore....

So, Thank You..."Hot Springs"...for stopping by!....ya "made my day"...

Ya'll try and Have a Great Day!...ya hear?

Young...and Free...

2010-02-01T10:21:00.000-08:00

As some of you know, this ol' Fart bought hisself a guitar back in December..."Nope", didn't (don't) know the first thing about how to play one...hee hee...kinda like the "dog chasin' the car" thing...now that I got it...whadafck am I gonna do with it? A person can only sit and make "noises" with it for so long before that becomes annoying...even to one's self...

so's I been looking on-line...and tracking down "imput"...sites of my delta blues "heros"...and listening to, watching video clips, and such...buying a few CD/DVD lessons...and getting more and more discouraged with myself and my inadequacies...sigh..."whydahell, didn't I pick this up back when I was a kid (like I always was "gonna do someday?")...and have dwelt/lived with this 6 stringed creature all those years?...instead of just now deciding to try and learn the danged thing? Sometimes, I truly believe that I have gone senile.

It is truly mind blowing...the amount of musical genius out there in this big ol' world...besides the few Master Guitarists I've always been in awe of,...there are literally "dozens of others" I never even had had a clue about.

Any body ever heard of Roy Rogers?...uh, no, not the old cowboy star we used to watch as kids on Saturdays down at the local movie theatre matinee...This "Roy Rogers" plays the flat azzed finest delta blues slide guitar on the planet!...check him out on YouTube...he'll blow yer mind.

...and then, there's Leo Kottke, and his lightnin' fast fingering licks...damn!...or, Stefan Grossman...double damn!....I wasn't even "aware" of these guys until "recently"...

guess I was living under a rock all these years...

I've pretty much figured out "what" I want to learn and be able to play with this thing...it'll be no where near as awsum as these guys...simply because I don't have as much "time to learn" as they have put in down thru the years that they have been playing. It's amazing, to me, to sit and watch/listen to Master Artists like these guys....and I drool all over myself when I do...hee hee...

Yep,...who, in his right mind...at the age of 60,... decides to pick up and try to learn finger pickin' slide guitar? Hell, 60 is the age where yer 'sposed ta already "be" a master at stuff...lol...not just thinkin' 'bout getting started!

Guess that's just"what" keeps some of us from becoming couch potatoes, though...that's "what" helps keep some of us irrepressibly "young"...and free at heart!...hee hee...

Ya'll try and have a Great Day!...ya hear?

BEV !!!!!

2010-01-26T20:55:00.000-08:00

I'm resorting to "this method" because I currently have no other way...the "addys" I know (on the net)...are no longer active...the phone line is also "unavailable" (so I'm told)....uh,...FCK!......

She called me a week ago....and told me about how her life "was sht" right now....everything was"beyond due"....and required cash to settle....

...and I...(as her Father)...acted the "ass".

I told her that I...couldn't/wouldn't...."help".

I lied...in the sense that I "left her"...totally "alone"...with no where to go, noone that cared, noplace to find shelter...

I was (am) a total azzhole...

and it's been tearing my heart out ever since.

She;s my only daughter, fer Chrissakes...and I...said..."uh, Hon...yer over 18...and I am no longer responsible for whatever happens to yer sorry azz?"....

sht...I've "tried for years"....not to ever become "emotional" with people...(learned dis sht in Viet Nam, when I was only 17-18 years old..."don't get emotionally involved...ya "hurt" when they die"...)

I've been an "azzhole" ever since...

...always strived to not "give a fck" ever since...

and always tried to "find a reason" to throw dat sht away....but, never did/have...

don't know "why"....

Even though I "can't help", Bev, if yer reading this (as I'm hoping)...please, Hon, come on down here....to Arizona....to Ajo...to Lizard Flatz...

I'm still trying to learn how...to show love....learn to...uh, "emote"....

yer Momma finally "gave up" on me after 24 years...but, I'm still (belatedly) "trying"....

might be a bit late...might be a bit "lame"...might be too fckin' late...but...hey,...I'm still tryin' to learn....

I cannot send you money....I cannot send you any type of "legal support" to fight what's goin' on up there...but, I think that I finally can "step up"...and be a "Daddy", Hon....(someone who "feels" emotion for you?)...cuz I do?.....

Bev, I do love you...and I love Micah,,,,,very, very deeply...and it just "tears me up" that neither of you are able to believe it,( after all the years of "the Horsesht/Anger" that ya grew up with.)

I am sorry.

I've always been "sorry"about my anger...even "while" I was being the azzhole that I was being while you both grew up around it.

There is no way that I shall ever be able to "amend" for the angst and fear, anger and/or, pain, that I caused either you, or your brother....

I am sorry, Hon...more deeply than you'll ever realize...

However, that's neither "here"...nor "there" right now....

ya just gotta go ahead and walk away...and come down here,...where we can sit back, and get an "outside perspective" on the shty situation that ya have/have had up there.

Get yer azz "to here"...and we (you and I) can talk the sht out...give ya space to figure the crap out.

I promise ya Sweety, ...it "ain't as bad as ya thinkin' it is"....

ya just gotta stop thinkin' that "yer Daddy is as lame brained as ya always been thinkin" ....hee hee..(.and this ol' Fart has to eventually stop thinkin' the same!).....

Love Ya! Bev!....Come on "home"....(to the new one).....I've got ya covered, Hon.....

PSSST!....Mindy!...would ya try and "find her" for me? ...she's "homeless" (and childless) right now... up in Skagit County...she "likes and knows/trusts" you...find her for me?...if I had gas money...I'd be back.

I'm Just...Curious....hee hee....

2010-01-23T20:24:00.000-08:00

...."Funny Sht"....(no, not really)....but, the only "time I come here lately"...(to this site)...is when ...dis ol' Fart is...."fcked up".

....kinda sad....huh?

the only times that I come "on-line" ta say "something"...is "when" I have a buzz on?...

(when I'm Drunk...and Angry?)...sht!

I think that "dat sht" sucks....feelin' that I "have to explain" myself...(later when I sober back up?)....fck!....

There usedta be a time...when I couldn't "wait" ta get back to the computer...and "show sht" that I had discovered during my day...and act all kinda "Tioga George" about stuff...and I "used ta" be Sober on dat sht....out "gallaventin' around" and havin' a fun time....

Used ta be a time...when I was "proud" to be an American....used to be proud of our "views", and was even willing to "give my life" to help expedite them (at one time)...

uh, perhaps, I've been inside our "borders" too long?

perhaps, nowadays, I'm feelin' "cornered" somehow?

perhaps it's the "news" I read every morning?

It's sad...I sit here...and watch our country fall apart. I read "da News" daily on the internet...I have 12 different "sites" that I use to "keep up" on both the "right wing" n "left wing" sht...(takes me 2-3 hours every fck'n morning just to "start my fck'n day!)....

and...It's ALL Bullsht!

I once "fought for this sht"???

How cum....Nobody else is Pizzed Off about All dis Sht?

Nobody else..."Gives a Fck?"????

Nobody else (as a Vet)...feels that we've been totally Sold Out, Used, and Abused for horsesht reasons???

I "can't find where" anybody else is..."in reality" news-wise....I try to talk with people out in the public...and I get "weird looks"....I try and talk in bars...and I get into fights...uh....whadafck?

Is it just my "personna"?....they take an adverse attitude towards?...or, my language?...or, simply the fact that my dick is bigger than theirs???, (hee hee)...or, is it just my intense "attitude of Pizzed Off"???

People seem to be living in a "fantasy world" where they wanna believe..."we okay, Jack"....long as we keep "trusting in our elected powers,...and accept their horsesht"....

sheit!

I don't "Buy That!"....

Ain't Gonna Happen....Jackazz!

When....WHEN!....is the sht finally gonna pizz enough of the sleepin' zombies off????

I'm just curious....

Ya'll try and have a "good night"...ya hear?....hee hee....

Lame Dicks...and Bucket Lists....

2010-01-14T23:19:00.000-08:00

Apologies Thrown Out Right Now....I've been "self- centered" lately....yep, this ol' Fart has been totally "into- self" of late...(not that I ain't "generally" in that area, anyway...hee hee)....but,...for the past (almost) couple of months now...I have been Self-Centered...as "Totally" as I have ever tried to be.

I'm trying to "learn How to"...play resophonic (Dobro) guitar...been in love with "the sound" for over 30 years...been always "wanting to learn" guitar...but...resophonic always had a "particular grab" to my soul. Always had "wife and kids/job"....that kept me from focusin'...awww, sigh....

and I've always been wanting to find a guitar...and then "try to learn" how to play it. Bought 3-4 over the years (mandolins, and a banjo, now and then, too),...and then..."let 'em go" for various reasons....

For over 30 years now...this ol' Fart has had..."owning a Dobro" on his Bucket list..(.something that old farts "just do"....uh, "Bucket Lists" I mean...hee hee...)....

UH,...Ya say, ya ain't never heard of "Bucket Lists"????

SHEE!

There's a really cool movie ...came out a couple of years ago (I think)...even called "Bucket List"....and it's neat as hell....

What a Bucket List is...is a "list" of "all da sht" ya still wanta "accomplish"...before yer time is through.

...and then,...ya go ahead and and try ta "DO IT"...before ya die (Kick da Bucket)....

called a "Bucket List"....

All us ol' Farts...oughta "have one"....heee hee!

My particular "dream" with this "guitar/delta blues" thing...is to become "proficient enough" with it...and then write a song....and "record it" with accomplished musician friends of mine....

...uh, to "leave another thing" ...behind me...when I go....

I've been in love with "music" my whole life; especially old blues, delta blues, and "soul".... It'd be nice to leave..."something" behind.

Whadahell!?!...."ego" hitting in here, somewhere?...no,...not really....(maybe??)...I just wanna leave "stuff" behind....memories of "unions with people"...fun times, drunk associations together,...and "better sht" than the "failed relationship" sht that eats my heart out every night.

People only "start thinkin' 'bout dis sht" when they get "old"...they start "lookin' back" on their life...and cuzzin' themselves out....awwww....fck....shoulda done dis...shoulda done dat crap.....

Ever since the heart attack....(3 years ago)....I "know" that I'm on "borrowed time".

I can't fix any of the sht that I did "before"....(tried some, but it failed, too)....anyway, what I did discover over these past few years...is "FCK IT!"...Go ahead and RUN For It...Do yer "Bucket List"...and perhaps, maybe...ya might die..."happy".....

I'm tryin' ta learn how to slide...a "cut off" whiskey bottle neck, down the fretboard of a resophonic guitar neck...ever so lightly....lightly dancing "here"....dancing "there'... along the strings...and making really awsum "moans n groans" as I move along....helping to "empathise" the main "picking" that a lead guitarist does...

Don't want "lead"...just wanna "dance" with 'em...hee hee....

I know..."don't mean sht" in da "real world"....awww, but it might be "Sweet"...with the "correct" friends that remember.....sigh....

I really wish...that I had "discovered dis sht"....way back,....a long time ago!

For anybody else out there....whose been "wanting to learn" , buy an instrument, find instructional videos, etc.....check out Elderly Instruments.com...and Musicians Friend.com...They both are really great with their service and goods!

Ya'll try and have a Great Night!...ya hear????

Journey of Discovery....

2010-01-08T17:47:00.000-08:00

Down thru the years, this ol' Dawg has bought, bartered for, found, discovered, or "been given"...and then, sold, bartered away,..lost, or, have stolen,...(or even given away)... instruments...tools..."things".... now and then..."stuff" that I've "run across" and (for whatever reason) decided to "try for myself" to learn to play, "diddle with",... or work with,...play with...fck around with...hee hee...or, even ignore....Only to end up... Disappointed, Sad, sometimes "Mad"... Disillusioned, and somehow (sometimes)..."Pizzed Off" that I was unable to "master"....

I "hate sht" that I can not "figure out"...

...and become "vi-able" at/ or with...

uh,...an "artist's thing"?

This past month...of "trying ta learn" the basics of a resophonic guitar sometimes drives me flat out...uh,..."ballistic"?

hee hee....I also bought books...cds...and even dvds....(when I "decide to be serious" about something...I do what I can to learn to/and "get a grasp" on it)...

...and thus it's been...this past month (or so)....I've been "trying" to learn, teach, instruct myself (via the afore mentioned media)..."how to play" slide acoustic guitar.

Have I progressed any at all?

I doubt the fck outa that....hee hee...but....

I am havin' a hell of a lot of "fun"...trying....

Trying to learn "Chord Theory" and all the sht about "steps/half steps"...."progressions"...."intervals"..."scale theory"...etc...etc....just "numbs" my brain!

...Give me paint and brush...give me cement and a trowel!....GAWD!!!!...gimme Hammer n nails,...fer Christ's sake..."I'll build ya "something"!!!.....

Whodahell...woulda "thunk" that guitar playin' was ever "this fckin' complicated"????

I have gained a whole hell of a lot of... respect for those "artists" that do this sht.

Funny, when ya sit back "in life"....how, sometimes ya take sht for granted...ya think sht like..."That" person sure has it "easy"...sure has it "simple"...doin' what they doin' to get by...but then...just go ahead,... take a step outa yer own reality/safety zone...and try to "do" what they be doing...

sht ain't as "easy" as ya ponder it may be.

Some people's "job" sure is a hell of a lot "harder" than ya thunk...right?

Life is an never ending "journey of discovery"...long as ya decide to take the "trip"!....

Ya'll try and have a Great Night!...ya hear?

FCKDATSHT!!!!

2009-12-31T21:54:00.000-08:00

uh,...sht....here "we are"... a couple hours before midnight...and this ol' Fart just don't really give a sht..

...."same way" I spent a week ago...."Christmas"???....kizz my azz....sigh....

uh,...."explanation" necessary?

didn't think so...hee hee....

With the "New Year" rollin' in, however....I "think it's time" to go ahead and "change the format" of this website/blog some....

Since starting this thing a few years back, I've spent "more time" tryin' to be "nice" about my feelings...emotions,...and "thoughts"....than what I've really wanted to "express" sometimes.

....and I'm fck'n "tired" of the game playin'...that I've been showing as my "face"....

....comes a time in "every one's life" when they just gotta say.....

"FCKDATSHT!"....and go ahead and spout their azzwipe..."I'm an azzhole" points of view....

...uh, right?

If "all of us" keep tryin' to remain/be..."politically correct" and ...."hide in our bunkers"....

....Howdafck is any of "this" sht gonna change????

I finally got pizzedoff at...."Hizzelf".....uh, ....(me)....heee heee....

(and "away we......GO!.........)

I could spend the next millennium explainin' my "idiosyncrasies" to ya....uh,...but, whadafck?....anybody who has been "reading my sht regularly"...(hee hee)....already "knows my nature"....

....so FCKdatsht!......

Okay,....All ..."on board" now....?.....for the "New"....Meanderings of Wanderwolf blog???

(((Pssssst: "Wanderwolf" is the "mobile" HOME that I live in....have wandered the country with, and...sleep in each night for the past 7 years))))....."Everything Else"....is just "baggage"....and "othersht" that this ol' Fart stumbles across and (for whatever reason) assimilates into his life anymore....

NONE of IT..."important to the Journey"...and I strive to not let it be.

Sometimes...uh, I get "carried away" with desires of horni-ness?....loneli-ness?....drunken-ness?...("it's a "Male Thing" ya say?)...well...fck den.....damn! I want one of those, too????....(accumulation?)...or is that "Keepin' up widda Jones' mentality"?awww, dang!

Currently,....Wanderwolf and I....are parked in Ajo, Arizona...where I've been "playin'with the artistsht"....a "Thing" that I've always been cursed with that I can't control any better than I've ever been unable to control a hardon...(hee hee).... I "blow off" so many other "more important things" when I hit "this mode" it's almost unbelievable....(got 3 ex-wives/2 grown siblings who'll verify me here, ...hee hee)....when "the "ART" speaks to me....I go all totally incohearent to anything else in reality except "it"....much to the chagrin of all others in my life at the time it happens.

I refuse to "apologize" any more!

I'm currently "stuck here"...in Ajo.... because of "more sht" than I'm gonna explain...Tioga George stopped by last month....and I fckin' banged my head against the wall after he left...(yeah, really)...I Wanna Go to Mexico!....TOO!.....

....but....."Can't yet"....the VA won't give me the "Freedom I want"....yet....DAMN!

...but....I'm "hoping" that after my next appointment (Feb 10th) that they will give me my meds...and "turn me loose" for 6 months (minimum)...so I can "explore at my leisure"...."DOWN THERE!!!"

I intend to spend this next Spring/Summer down below our borders...wandering the "backroads" and alleys of Mexico...it'd be "nice" to get waaay down to the southern border...hee hee....

I "have friends" all down each coast...so it'd be fun to stop by each place...ya think?

I think it would be....

and "whatwegot" left ...uh,...."here" anymore?....

buncha parasite "government employees" thinkin' that "we" owe them a living?

FCKDATSHT!

It "ain't my Country" anymore...

I'm..."done"...

Ya'll try and have a Great Night!...ya hear?

BY THE WAY....any "little peons"( like me)...might consider taking their "banking practices" out/away from the"too big to fail"Corporate Monopolies (BoA, Fargo, Citi, and especially Chase!) ...and "Support" yer Smaller, LOCAL banks...or Credit Unions...it's the only way that "word will get across" that we're PIZZED OFF as Hell...and ain't gonna take it any more!

Community Banks are what helped Built this Country....waaay before the "Corporate" mindset decided to "take over"...it's time to return to those "basics"....and it starts....with "us".

Personally, I've been with a small, local bank up in Washington State, for over 6 years now...and I Love them!...with ATMs, I have "no problems" anywhere I've traveled so far....and my debit card works everywhere I've been so far....(Hear datsht, Chase???....ya fckin' Azzholes!)

Awwwww....fckit!

Might not be "too late"...yet....

2010...The "change" starts with US!....Happy New Year, ya'll!

Bye the way....it is Midnight...(by the time I finished this diatribe)....and ya know "what song" just (co-incidentally) hit my speakers as I leaned back and reached for a beer???....hee hee..."I Don't Give a Fck"....by the Lucky Devils.....I love ya, Tony and Mindy!....so cool to "be wid ya" at this time... tonight!.....aww sht "Bad Things Happen" is on now....Damn!....I love those guys!....hee hee....

Cold Bones...and Idiocies....

2009-12-20T10:50:00.000-08:00

I'd forgotten...totally escaped my thinking processes..."How Cold" it does get down here..."sometimes"...hee hee...

Yep...even down here in the Sonora Desert region of "Sunny Arizona"...temps can dip down below 50 degrees...

It's been "long pants" season for the past couple of weeks, now.

Actually, it even got cold enough for Morning Frost a few days back...sigh...

Can't say that "I missdatsht"...This ol' Fart got enough cold temps, cold rain, and cold snow,...darkness and drab, dreary months on end, when I grew up in Alaska,...then, resided in Upstate New York for about 20 years...and even back in the Pacific Northwest's "Emerald Beauty" of Washington State the previous 10 years prior to stumbling down here to this arid zone.

Nope, despite the Summer Heat, the desert dryness, and the "lack" of tall trees and "greenness",...I much prefer basking in a sauna...and taking clothing off...than to freezing and never being able to bundle up quite enough to get/stay warm.

I do not miss "cold" at all...and I am even "day dreaming" of eventually getting this ol' RV back on the road , headed "Further" South...hee hee...(especially on days like this...when temps have me awakening in the early morning hours and turning on the heater to knock the chill out.)

Uh, did I mention that I "Hate" Cold?

The old frostbite damage in my fingers and toes, combined with the degenerative Arthritis I have in my joints and bones, just does not make for my miserable old body to feel "joyous" this time of year....sigh...

Oh, well....glad I'm not still back in upstate New York today...hee hee...also "tickled" that I'm not in the cold, rainy Pacific Northwest. After reading through the News this morning, I'm "countin' my Blessings" in regards to waking to a "chilly" ( but growing warm) sunny day down here.

Guess I'll "huddle inside" and continue to abuse my sore fingers in an attempt to learn how to produce music ( or at least "something" melodic) out of this new guitar that arrived about a week ago....I'm realizing that learning "Guitar Theory" and memorizing chords and fingering, is a hell of a lot more challenging than anything else I've ever decided to try and do....I've gained a whole lot "more respect" for the likes of Leo Kotke, Stephan Grossman, and Jeremy Lyons (my particular heroes) let me tell ya!

Ya'll try and have a Great Day!...Ya hear?

Busy, Busy,...and more Busy...

2009-12-01T13:36:00.000-08:00

WoW!...the Studio Tours thingie, over this past weekend, was a hoot!

I had about 80-100 people stop by the shop each day...and even sold 3 (yeah, THREE) paintings...sure "made my day", I tell ya...hee hee...

I pinched myself at least a dozen times to see if I was only dreamin'...uh, recession?...what recession?...I was expecting "lookers"...never expected actual "buyers"...let alone 3 of them...especially "here"...in Ajo....

now..."finally"...I have the "extra cash" I've been waiting this past year to find...hee hee...so that I can buy that resonator acoustic guitar that I've been wanting...(I'm tired of just playing "air guitar" all these years)...and now, I have no wife...nor kids...waiting with their hands out...and makin' me feel guilty if I don't give it to them!...how fck'n sweet...is dat?

Hee Heee!!!!

I spent yesterday just "chillin' out"...did some grocery gathering, and then hot footed it down to the lumber yard and stocked up on cement, lathe, and rebar ( some more sculpture supplies)... I was home, and in bed..and asleep before the first dvd I'd rented was even half over with...dang...

Up this morning by 7...and out the door...had some sign work over at Shadow Ridge RV Resort to get working on...I'd promised Mike that I'd get going as soon as the Studio Tour thing was done....He was tickled to see me getting started.

I finally knocked off for the day a little after 2...and returned to find that while I was out this morning...that ol' Tioga George had stopped by... again...only this time, on his way back to Mexico...damn!...I missed him!....now, that's a bummer...I'd like to have visited with him some more.

oh, well...perhaps we'll get together again, sometime next Summer...down there somewhere...

YES!...I am seriously thinking about heading down into Mexico next June, July, August (and maybe September)...to get away from the heat here during that time of year. Perhaps, I might run into George when I get down there, wandering around (as aimlessly as I generally do).

One side of me "yearns" to be on the road again...the other side "yearns" to have this studio and "create"...sigh...hee hee...are we ever" totally happy" in our souls???

...well...this ol' Fart is on a self set mission to "try and be"!....hee hee....

Ya'll try and have a Great Day!...ya hear?

40 Years ago, Today...

2009-11-29T07:58:00.000-08:00

Every year, on this day, I awaken feeling kinda melancholy...
and more than a bit introverted.

I lay there, in my warm, snug, bed,...and my mind "goes back".

I lay there, and all the colors come back...all the smells...and all the emotions replay once again.

It happens every year on this day.

...and this year...this day...this early morning "happening"...is the 40th time that I have relived this event.

damn...

who'd of thought?

certainly not dis ol' Fart.

I'da never guessed such a thing would turn into some kinda "annual" event in my weird, twisted, and sometimes comical existence.

but...it has.

sigh...

"So, alright already!" ya ask..."Whadafck are ya rambling on about ya ol' Fart???"

I give ya a Wolfie smile....

40 years ago, today...I landed back in the "World" at Travis Air Force Base in San Francisco...ending a 19 hour flight...freshback from 13 months in South Viet Nam.

I paused at the top of the ramp and took a deep breath. The memory still causes my chest to shudder, as I relive that first deep intake of "American Air" once again.

Tears still wellup, as they did then... when I realize, "damn,...I made it back Home."

I was so Thankful...so damned Grateful...my legs felt like rubber as they shook as I walked down those stairs and onto the tarmac.

Every returning Veteran goes through this same thing, I have come to find out, down thru the years, as I've talked with others... Every one of us has a "Profound Moment" that he, or she,...will "re-live" annually for the rest of their life.

It's an "inner thing", that we just "live with"...and re-live over and over each anniversary...that amazing sense of relief...that sensation of realization that we "made it back"...

Like Dorthy said, at the end of that famous old film, The Wizard of Oz..."There's no place like home"...and for returning Vets, that 1st view, breath of air, and step back upon our soil, is a "religious" moment they will remember for the rest of their life.

It just happens that way...

Today is "my personal" anniversary...

Ya'll try and have a Great Day!...ya hear?

Dang!

2009-11-27T20:37:00.000-08:00

Okay...went to bed early last night (uh, ain't midnight..."early"?)....and I laid there...I tried to sleep...I kept my eyes shut....and kept telling ol' Fart self..."Shutdafck up!...Go to sleep!"

uh....sigh....damn!....sleep just wouldn't come.

(musta been...the damned coffee that I drink a lot of, now that the temps are back down to "normal" down here?)...

sheesh!

Anyway, I eventually "dropped off"...knowing that I "needed" to be up around 8:30 A.M...

and yeah, I was awake by almost 6...damn!....went back to trying to sleep...again.

Finally awoke about 9...

Cool!

...an hour to go....(plenty of time to shower/shave/...an poop)....before I had to open da shop for the Great AJO Annual Studio Tours premier of Lizard Flatz Art Studio as part of their agenda!!!!

uh,...does this sht "sound" like I been on "pins n needles" (expectation wise) these past few weeks?

Damn!....I was not wanting this ol' Fart to DO Dis Sht....again!

sigh....

Then....

Sold a painting within the 1st 20 minutes of the day.

hee....hee...

I'm so fckin' "tickled" about that.

I know..."most people" do not "understand", or even "empathize" with artists....(I have 3 ex-wifes, and a world of hate behind me herethat "justifies" my thinking)....

Many people "think" that we (artists) are egocentric, "I own da world mentality" people,...uh, They are wrong.

We (artists) struggle...continually, with our own angst's...wondering "why" nobody ever feels as deeply,... why nobody ever understands "what" we are trying to show them....and "why" we always end up so alienated from those that we love because they "translate/interpreted" what we do/say/create...so "wrongly".

We never "know" that the next piece that we "bleed blood" in creating...will sell/or not...let alone be "understood".

It's a very "frustrating" existence...to say the least.

Years ago,...this ol' Fart....decided that "I don't give a sht, anymore"....and just decided to paint, create...."play" .... how, when, and where...da "urge hits me"...

and never look back in regret.

but, ya know what?

I'm still tickled as hell...when someone comes up,... gazes at something I did...and then pulls out their money...and hands it to me... to take the piece "home" with them.

I Lovedafck out of it...when that happens.

Especially when, that particular person tells me that "that piece speaks to me", before handing me the greenbacks....

I love it....makes all the "in between sht" worth wading thru....

It beats all the hugs, kisses, and sht that a "normal job" just doesn't deliver to my soul.

I've sold 4 paintings , now, this year....and it swells my soul.

Thank Ya, Father!

hee...hee....

Ya'll try and have a Great Night!...ya hear?

Slow Progress...and Thanksgiving Wishes...

2009-11-25T17:35:00.000-08:00

Wha I been doin'?...

Same ol' Sht!

hee hee....

Playin' wid da cement, of course!

and here's how it's lookin'...so far...

Up until "this Point"...the thing has been giving me "no real" trouble figuring out "howdahell do I do that?"...but,...hee hee...this past 3-4 days...of trying to figure out, and "support"...then build the form for that friggin' urn has driven me bananas!...but...I think I finally "got it"...

I'm hoping to finish getting the 1st coat of fiberglas enforced cement laid over the whole of it (the urn) tomorrow morning.

People have asked..."Hey, Wolfie...where'd ya get the idea for this thing?"

well...here it is...see that figure on the right, with the jug on her head in this old photograph?...100 years ago, sights like that were "common" down here in the Sonora Desert.

I've also, always been in love with the Art Deco period of the 1930's...sooo...I just kinda "combined the 2" here...and created this "Sonoran Deco" piece...hee hee....

...and...the thing might already be sold...yep...there's a guy been stopping by almost daily to check out it's progress. He even took me over to see this amazing, and beautiful courtyard that he's building outside his home...as we walked around it, he pointed out a spot and said..."wouldn't that piece yer doing look really cool up on a 3 ft pedestal right there?"

I just grinned at him, and shook my head in agreement.

Guess we'll see what happens...right?...

oh, I also got some more of the colors in the Lizard today...Now have almost all of the "background" colored...that'll "have to do" for now...the annual Ajo Studio Tour is day after tomorrow...and I'm out of time...(anyone wanting to see "da Lizard" can go back to my April postings to see how I built it)...when I do finally get around to "finishing" him...I'll post some new pics...

also ran around town today...and grabbed up the paintings that I had scattered in various places, shops, and galleries...they all now hang on the wall here, at Lizard Flatz for "da Tour".

Since tomorrow is Thanksgiving...I'd like to wish all my readers, friends, and family, a very pleasant and relaxing afternoon/evening! I wish you all well!...and take this opportunity to Thank You!...I am very grateful for every last one of you who has, and hopefully will continue, to "touch" my life!

I hope that you all have "loved ones" to share some time, food, and perhaps, some "shared thoughts" with.

Personally, I'm gonna "play" some in the morning...but, then, tomorrow afternoon, I'm going to another artist/friend's home, where we're gonna "do da Bird n Wine" with some other ol' Fart artist friends...

should be a "nice" little get together.

I'm sure glad (and Thankful) that I found Ajo!

Ya'll try and have a Great Night!...ya hear?

Snowbirds are back!

2009-11-20T21:34:00.000-08:00

Well...here it is..."one week to go" before the annual Studio Tours here in Ajo...and not a damned thing that I wanted to have "finished" by then is even anywhere "near done"...dang!

This ol' Fart is "unhappy with self"...hee hee...Don't know "howdatime" managed to slip away so frick'n fast...seems like "only yesterday" I had the whole Summer ahead of me in which to get 'er done...dang!

Aw well...a little at a time,...a little each day...will eventually see it through...right?

Anyway, it all is slowly getting done: the "trees" are almost totally basecoated(cement) into their formed shapes...the long, tedious "skincoat" stage will get started (probably) around mid-December. I expect that to take a few months.

The "statue of the goddess" is/has been taking up all (too much) of my time of late...I arise early, with all intents of getting out on the Lizard wall...and finishing up the colorcoat that I was forced into stopping back in July due to the temps growing too hot for the cement to suck in the colors properly...and I still haven't gotten back up the scaffolding...

I walk into the shop, and "the Lady" just yanks my attention away from where I'd intended to spend the time elsewhere...hee hee...and I start "playing with" her, again...next thing ya know, it's late afternoon...and "beer thirty" already....

Yesterday, ol' Fart John dropped by with a six pack about 3:30...then ol' Fartess, Bonny showed up about the time that was being finished off...she "opted" to run over to the store and grab a 30 pack...hee hee...(uh, we never "turn down o'fered beer" around dis place, don't ya know?)...Anyway, right after she returned, and we'd popped the first of those...well, hell...ol' Fart, Steve (the Stucco Guy... "fresh back" from his Summer in Oregon)... showed up with his guitar...and proceeded to "entertain" us for the evening!

about that time...I decided that "work" was over for the day here at Lizard Flatz...hee hee...

Today, I got about 4-5 hours of work in on the statue,... before "guests" started stopping by the shop around 2..."Snowbirds/Winterbirds" just curious about this new, strange, studio that they have no memory of seeing last time they were down here...work stops, while I explain how the stucco job (and the Giant Lizard) were done this past April/May, and the cement "trees" were started in September. I let them "tour" the inside of the studio,...and the yard/garden area to the side (where Wanderwolf da RV is parked)...we "visit" a bit...then, eventually, they leave and I get back to work until the next one, or two, drop in.

I don't mind "visitors" at all..."in the afternoon"...hee hee...

I get about 2-3 "new people" stopping by each day lately...

It breaks up the solitary tedium of what Summer was like down here...it's a "nice change"...for now...

well, it's getting near "bed-time" for this ol' Dawg...got things ta get done in the morning...

Ya'll try and have a Great Evening!...ya hear?

Watching cement dry...

2009-11-11T19:24:00.000-08:00

Okay....hee hee..."lost myself" for awhile...uh, really....about a week ago...this ol' 'puter started acting real slow...so I hit a program that (supposedly) "cleans out old sht"....and I "lost everything"....

....how to "connect"..."where I was"....and even "sht that I like"....damn!...uh, anybody "relate" to "I think I fck'ed up"????

(uh, have I ever explained that I'm an ol' Fart???....with no "computer genius" experience here/anywhere at all?...At ALL????)

tis True...

I'm just a simple "artist"...

and I've been trying to get cement to shape up on this foamcore form...as I "picture it" in my mind...sheesh...

what a pain indaazz!

...but, it's slowly coming...slowly starting to "take shape"...It's so damned heavy, though, already, that I don't know howdahell I'm going to get the thing moved...or even out of the shop...hee hee...guess I'll figure that problem out later...

Here's the latest pics...taken last night while I sat and watched the cement dry...

I'm still "optimistic" that it might come out "okay"...

We'll see....

The new Sculpture...

2009-11-01T07:46:00.001-08:00

Whoooee!...I LOVE this weather...and the temps... happening down here in the Sonora Desert right now!

It is only in the low 80's during the afternoon...and drops down into the 50's at night....sooo much "more pleasant" than it was back in August...

For the past week...this ol' Fart is up by sunrise...and out in the studio...hee hee...uh, "playing"...

The "sidework" that I was doing, took me 4 days (mornings) to get done...and gave me enough "pocket change" to get the materials that I needed in order to get more work done on the cement trees...and continue working on this large sculpture piece.

I've named this one,"Sonoran Grace". When finished, it will be a dedication piece to the spirit, grace, and strengths of the Tohono O'odham (Desert People) women of this locale...

I have become totally "smitten" with their gentle, but strong, quiet ways of carrying themselves....young, and old...they just have "something special"that words just can't convey... Watching them, in public, these past 2 years, has filled me with a kind of reverent awe, that my reading/studying of their desert lifestyle/history has only reinforced. I hold a deep felt respect, awe, and (dare I say?)...love for them.

This sculpture ( my first ever attempt at anything like this) is a struggle to put "visual" to all the emotions of beauty and grace that I see whenever I gaze upon these lovely creatures.

I hope that it comes out okay.

As you can see, from the pics, I have most of the foamcore form shaped up...Around the base, you can see the "chicken wire" added to help with the forming of the "waves" for her stylized "art deco-ish" form fitting dress. I have also started pouring the first layer of cement to the base area.

After I get the base area poured and shaped in, I will then "hand apply" a layer of cement upwards, shaping and contouring as I go...adding folds, creases in the "material of her dress" as I progress.

Her face will be "hidden" beneath a hooded shawl, her eyes downcast towards the ground (as so many of these ladies are prone to do when "in public").

Her upthrust arms will be holding a "Papago Pottery" bowl (or jug, I haven't decided yet) , as if making an "offering" towards the sky...this is my "reworking" of the old timey photographic images of these women walking about with the jugs on their heads (remember those?)...

Total height of the piece will be about 10-11 feet.

I am hoping to get it finished in time for the Desert Artist's Guild show in mid-December...after which, I'm thinking about giving it to the town...as the "first piece" for a community Sculpture Garden that I'd like to see happen here....hey, what's an "Art Community" without sculptures, anyway???

hee hee...

Ya'll try and have a Great Day!...ya hear???

"In Progress"...here, there, and over there, too!

2009-10-27T10:10:00.000-07:00

This ol' Fart has been getting up at 6:30 A.M. these past couple of days...not an "easy thing" after sleeping in until 10 through most the Summer...hee hee...but...I have some "side work" going on..(re-painting some signs for an RV Resort here in Ajo)...that kinda dictates the work being done before the "heat of the day" gets too strong.

This "work" will give me some funds towards picking up some more materials for my "play" art.

I want to pick up some bulk canvas and a few more tubes of paint . I have a couple of ideas for some "large" paintings that I want to get started on soon...

The framework/form for the statue is pretty much carved/fleshed out now...(dang! I LOVE working in 3-dimensions!)...I've got to pick up some metal lathe, though...to get the base formed up with the stuff... before I can start playing with the cement application...sooo,...work on that has to "wait" a few days...

Same thing (waiting for more lathe) is happening with the cement "trees" out front...

sigh...Money always seems to run out before I get all the materials gathered up for anything...or...when I'm right in the middle of something and need more stuff for it...

aw, well...guess that's just "part of" the way it goes...right?

Guess that's "why" I have so many partially completed/"in progress" pieces lying around this place...hee hee...

I'll be done with the "sidework" either by tomorrow, or Thursday...will have a few bucks burning a hole in my pocket...and beat a path down to the local hardware store and grab a few more "essentials"...hee hee...ta keep me occupied for a bit longer.

ain't that what it's really all about?

keeping occupied, I mean ?

Ya'll try and have a Great Day!...ya hear?

New Works in Progress...

2009-10-23T16:33:00.001-07:00

Okay,...I've been "off-line" for awhile...hee hee...

It took ol' Tioga George dropping by this morning to "remind me" of just how remiss this ol' Fart has become (in regards to the my internet friends) lately...

I apologize!

I've been "playing" and having "too much fun" around this ol' place dubbed Lizard Flatz...now that the temps have dropped back down into the "nice to be here" zone!

What have I been doing, ya ask?

Well,... playin' with cement! I answer back...

Like these "trees" I'm building to support the "front porch" roof that I collected old tin roofing found out in the desert for.

They're not "done" yet...but well on their way to coming out like I'd envisioned them to look. The "finish coat" of cement for them will be the "color coat" and will also be "hand tooled" to give them even a "more realistic" appearance of old cholla skeletons (the old "dead", holey wood found out in the desert around here).

The "technique" of working cement to "appear" like wood has been around for a few centuries now...and is called "Faux Bois"...There was a guy from Mexico, named Domicio Rodreguez, who did some amazing stuff in Texas (and other states) back in the 40's-50's...finding pics of his work on the net this past Summer just "boiled my mind over" with ideas to play with!

Also,...I "discovered" some "other" sculptural ideas out there on the net that intrigued my sensitivities...

A few days ago, I started assembling the rebar "skeleton/armature" upon which to mount the foam core...for then layering a "skin coat" of cement to...(in much the same way that I built the big lizard on the side of this building last Spring)...except, this piece will be "self-standing"...and thus, "portable"....and dare I say..."sellable"???

The finished piece will be about 10 feet tall.

Oh....hee hee...See "what happens" when Beer Drinkin' Season is over for awhile down here at Lizard Flatz????...Damn!....but I LOVE dis Place!

daWolf's Art is Here

Tioga George drops by Lizard Flatz!

2009-10-23T10:11:00.000-07:00

WoW!!!...

Dis ol' Dawg isn't an "early morning" person anymore...not as I used to be...back when I was on the road, RVing...Seems over this past year of sitting here, at "Lizard Flatz"...I've evolved into "staying up into the late hours" of the night...(when it's cooler)...and "painting/creating"...and then, sleeping in in the morning hours...

Example: Last night, I was "up" until about 3 A.M....in the studio, working on a new sculpture piece that I'm all excited about doing...I lose total track of time when I'm "into" this creative mode/mindset.

Since finding this Studio space...I have managed to totally alter my life-style considerably...hee hee..."away from" being the Early Morning personality that RVer's are known to be...

Imagine my "surprise" this morning...when I was abruptly awakened (at 8A.M.) by a knock on ol' Wanderwolf's door...most "everybody local" knows that ol' Wolfie here, does not "get up" until at least, 10 A.M....hee hee...and that unless ya want yer head bitten off...ya "wait" until signs that he is up n' about...before ya even approach this place!

Hmmmm...a knock?...at 8 A.M.???...I grumbled to myself as I called out,..."Give me a minute."...and pulled on a pair of pants.

I stumbled to the door, opened it, and stared blurrily into the bright glare of the rising sun behind "whomever" was standing there...."uh, ..yes?" I asked the vaguely "familiar" smiling face that greeted me.

Then, it "hit me"...

Oh, my goodness!...There, standing in front of me... was my "RV God"...my "mentor of sorts"... in "all things Wandering"!!!

Tioga George!..."in person"!

I looked again,... (as I tried to wipe the sleep from my eyes),...then stuttered out..."uh, aren't you s'posed to be somewhere in Mexico?"

(uh, I 'fess up, folks,...it's been a "few weeks" since the last time I was even "on-line" and/or even checked up on how/where George n' the Tioga Crew were even at...sigh...)

He laughed, and told me about his DataStorm dying, and that he was on his way to Visalia, Calif. to have it fixed...and that he'd just stopped by to meet us (Wanderwolf...and I)...hee hee...WoW!

I looked out, and there "she" sat...Ms. Tioga "herself" ...was even here at Lizard Flatz!!!...double WoW!...How danged "cool" is that???

I "excused myself" for a few moments to go inside and brush my teeth, comb my mop, and finish gettin' some clothes on....then hurried back out to "meet" George.

We talked a bit, went to Breakfast, and then talked a little more...in all, I guess he spent about 2 hours with this ol' Idjet...before having to get on "down da road"...

He sure did "get my juices" for RVing flowing, again...got my mind back "wandering" again,...got me "looking at where" I am right now, re-evaluating, again...hmmmm...

Dang!...It's been 3 month's already...since the "last time" I even fired up ol' Wanderwolf and took her out into the desert for a night of boondocking!,,,sure is "easy" to fall back into "forgetting"...when ya establish even "shallow roots" somewhere.

Thank You, George!...for stopping by!...and Thank You for "jogging the thinking processes and emotions" that visiting with you brought back into this ol' Dawg's heart!

I have gotten "side-tracked" since taking on this Lizard Flatz Studio last December...hmmm...gonna haveta...re-think, re-figure a "compromise", maybe...come up with "A Way" for both?...maybe..."perhaps"... a way to...be here (at Lizard Flatz) during the "Winter season"say...and then..."travel Mexico" during the Summer months?...

This ol' Fart is gonna think on it/work towards it...cuz I "sure do miss" that open road...and "the Trip" itself...(along with all the emotions entailed in said journey)...that, as I stood and watched... as George and Ms. Tioga pulled away...were re-evoked into my soul....

Dang!...hee hee....

Ya'll try and have a Great Day!...ya hear????

Never mind....

2009-09-22T23:01:00.000-07:00

Dang!...I was intending to post some pics of the Ajo Peace Day celebration that took place Sunday/Monday past...but...dang!...the blog...or my wifi feed...just wouldn't let it happen...

ohhh, well....

so I finally stopped hammerin' my head against "the wall" and decided...uh,..."fuggit"...and went to see what else is going on on the net tonight.

anyone else ever read the Huffington Post?...damn...that place is starting to read like some damned supermarket tabloid (or something)...uh, except they don't have any "two headed aliens" yet...

whadafck is going on?

Trump is letting Gadaffi pitch a tent on his property?...McKensie Phillips says she fcked her Daddy (while on drugs...uh, "both of 'em" were)....ol' Prez Barack is tired of his azz bein' pinched....and the RePugs just "saved" another insurance corporation....

whadafck?

Just speakin' for myself..."Beer Stocks" surely must be "going up" lately...I know that this ol' Fart has been drinking "more" these past few months...

can't "help myself"...nothin' been worth watchin' on TV for a long time now...and lately,...can't even find anything "stimulating" on the fckin' internet...(except: listening to folkalley.com)...all the "rest" of it seems to be nothing but....sheesh..."horsesht"...even my blog...can't come up with anything that "feels substantial" anymore.

whatdahell is going on?

is "this" all part of the "changes coming" that we are "supposedly aware" of happening as we approach 2012?

I'm soooo fckin' tired of simply everything being as "lame" as it is anymore!

Does "everyone" really actually "givafck" about 3/4 of the bullsht going on out there?

what does any of "that sht" have to do with the way the bankers, and wallstreet, and the politicians....are FCKIN' US ALL?????????????????????

uh, "excuuussse me!"....I'm just an ol' drunk mofo...out here in the Arizona desert....

I'm still trying ta figure out the diff between my azz...and a hole in da ground....sigh...

Ya'll try and have a Great Life!...ya hear?

New Painting

2009-09-12T00:13:00.001-07:00

My buddy Rick approached me a few months back...wanting to know if I could/would paint a picture of Bubba...his daughter's beautiful Golden Labrador...I told Rick "hell, yeah!"...with the caveat..."if ya send me some "good" pics, dude!"

My email became full of "doggy pics"...hee hee....

None of them were "of quality" to where I could actually "see" what I was needing/wanting to see about the subject...

soooo...I hit the internet...and "studied" pics of the particular breed...endlessly hunting thru sht...studying their head shapes, their eye shapes, their skin folds...the folds of fur on their ears is especially "important to get right"...hee hee...(I LOVE it!)...and then, I sketched out Bubba's "particulars" against the "parameters" of the pics/breed I knew him to be. "The "most difficult" part...is getting their "eyes right"...trying to get the emotion/feelings into them....

This particular "pose" is Bubba...I took it from a very "fuzzy" pic that I couldn't clean up enough to give me the "details of"...the study work, hopefully, filled in the rest for me....hopefully "enough" that I've been able to "capture" him for them.

I love painting dogs. Especially dogs that I've been able to meet...and study...and get to "know" on my own.

This is the "first" I've ever tried to "capture" strictly via photographs.

I hope that Rick...and his daughter will be "happy" with it.

The painting isn't "totally finished" yet...I still have another few hours on "balancing the colors out" and then clear coating it...but, it's 90% done at this point...

and "yeah"...the pic to the right...of Crowe...is another of my paintings, done when Crowe was about 10 years old...It now hangs in my daughter, Bev's home, back in the Northwest.

P.S....you may click on the pic of Bubba and see a "more detailed" larger version...

Education sht...

2009-09-05T22:11:00.000-07:00

Not gonna "stay" tonight...just have a link for ya all to read:

http://huffingtonpost.com/carolyne-myss/crimes-against-the-soul-o_b_278188.html

In my mind...her points are very well "laid out"...right up until she "points her finger" at Repubs...in particular...(my mind, "they both" ((Pubs n Dems)) are in error)...however, she does "come back"..."reconnect"...with her "right on" words of her opening sentences... in her last couple of paragraphs...and manages to lay da sht..."da way sht is"...don't matter which side ya run, ("pay aligence to")... sht is gettin' bad for our kids!...

uh...and "this "opinion" is coming from an ol'Fart...one who (with his now ex)..."homeschooled" our kids...back when "that" was still "allowable" ('cuz both of us had College Educations to our credits)....sigh....try and get a "homeschool license" now....

Hope ya can grab the link....a hell of a good blog about the "Dumbin' Down" sht....(that my ex, and I)... saw happening 25 fckin' years ago...and tried our "best" to waltz around...for "our kids" sake....

Have a Great Night!...ya hear me???

Just Turned... "Ol' Fart"...hee hee....

2009-09-02T01:06:00.001-07:00

...Okay...I know that ya guys/gals that regularly read my inane bullsht know that I turned 60 a week ago...

"personally"...I've been trying to "come to grips" with the idea (of becoming 60) for the past few months...Damn!...never, in my "wildest dreams" did I ever "think" that I'd ever make it this far!

never did...

sigh...

kinda like...9 years ago,...I never "thought" that my marriage of 24 years would abruptly (to me) end the way that it did...but...it did.

same as when I was turning 32...and my brother died...leaving me "alone",... to try and figure out...."howdahell" ya go on...from here?...uh, by yerself?....

It's a Crazy World...always has been...Always..."Will Be".

Do alot of reading nowadays...most of it is "still" about tryin' ta figure out just whadafck is going on...seems da "olderI get"...the more confusing sht gets...uh, damn!

The Lakota have an ages old saying: "Once you pass 52 Summers,... you become an Elder (Wise Person) of the Tribe,...yer 'spossed to cast off "stupidities and fantasies of Youth",...and become "full of wisdom and grace" and settle into becoming a "spirit of wisdom" for the general growth/well being of your people.

They say that..."you become someone held dear"...and looked up to..."for your "insights/intelligence"....

UH....oops!...."this" was sht that they held religiously....in the "Old Days"...the days/life before the Indian Wars of the late 1800's....

The "wars" where our expanding "civilization"...destroyed and did it's best to "cage" these aboriginal peoples that held this land before us.

Today, it is very hard to find any...of our "younger" people, anywhere,... Black, White, Chinese, or Indian... that think any of us "ol' Farts/Farteses" are even "worthy of" acknowledging even breathing space to...

Young Bucks/Does today....think we "stole" their Futures from them...

rather than try and see beyond the bullsht...and realize (as us ol' Farts do) that it was/is being stolen/controlled by the Corporate Gods up there in front of us all.

The "same" corporate azzwipes that "created" the Western Expansion that wiped out the Native American Tribes....the same ones that brought over the enslaved Blacks from Africa ta work their "profits"....the same ones that hold Profit above everything else....the "elite" that for some stupid reason nobody "down here in the trenches" really wants to believe actually exists....

the "same ones" who own the Banks...Wall Street...the Military now....and the Government...

Even my kids...who are now in their mid-20's don't want to believe me...even though I raised them, all through my life (and theirs) not to Trust the government (or anyone wanting to be a part of it)....sigh....

I read an article/blog in the HuffPost yesterday....some "genX" person raisin' hell about how all "us" boomers were/are the cause of/for this world today being the "sorry place" that it is...he said that we, for the past 40 years have "done nothing but been self serving/self centered" azzwipes...

uh, "excuse me?"

didn't "we"...help even "a little bit" in exposing/bringing about Civil Equality?...Black Equality?...didn't "we"...bring the force of Public Opinion to the forefront of "War Policy" (Viet Nam) at one point?....and cause our government to reassess "how" to "play their games"????...

uh, whydafck...do ya "Think"...the Draft isn't part of your "future" right now?....ya dumb, stupid person!

(yeah, I know...it's also the "same reason why" the Corporate mercenaries even exist today...sht!...how were we to know???)

Not "all of us"....were at Woodstock,... doing drugs, and coppin' out!

Not "all of us" wore face make up, openly "made love" in public, nor wore our hair down to our asses and "dropped outa" polite society.

Equally...not "all of us" sold out...signed up,....and/or "bought" the Corporate Idea of profit.

(I'm still pizzed off at Abby Hoffman, and others)

Just...not "enough of us"...decided to fight.

I'm still "kickin' myself in da azz" for a lot of the decisions that I made in my past....some of them "personal"...some of them "public"...some of them...even "world"....

sigh....

Only "ol' Fart eyes" see dis sht....

ever has been....ever shall be....

Ya'll try....and have a Great Night!...ya hear??

Dog Days...

2009-09-01T21:28:00.000-07:00

..."Dog Days" of Summer....hmmmm...I can relate to dat!...

Crowe...my "ol' Bud"... spent a hell of a lot of his time...teachin' this ol' Fart the "finer points" of being lazy, laid-back, and of just "lyin' 'round" when the sht got so hot that ya don't wanna do...uh,...anything(?)....hee hee....

Tain't dat bad, though..."being lazy", I mean....

are ya still allowed to call it " lazy"....when ya just spend time "researching sht" via the net?...(inside,... under the lil' garage sale air conditioner unit)...or, run down to the coolness of the local Library building...and "research" there?...rather than sit and smolder (let alone...work...) in the 115 degree heat around yer home/shop/studio turf?

I've spent a whole hell of a lot of time, these past few weeks..."not accomplishin' sht" (physically,anyway)... around this
ol' Homestead of mine...sigh...

too damned Hot, right now...

everything down here, in the Sonora Desert, just "radiates" heat this time of year.

All that one wants to do...is lay around...and be...uh,..."lazy"...hee hee...

but...

last night, a storm passed through...winds kicked up, and blew the hotness away for awhile...it actually became cool 'nuff ta shut down the air unit in this ol' RV for the night...

would you believe...the "silence" (of not running the damned conditioner) kept me awake?....sheesh!

and Today was a whole lot cooler, also...I was able to fart around out in the yard,... beside this ol' building,... that work got called to a halt on...what seems like months ago now...

I sure hope that temps won't shoot back up again soon...not yet...

All of my "research" has really got me "chompin' at da bit"...to get "playin' again" with getting some "real work" goin'...

I have a hell o' a lot of sht to get done between now...and the "Studio Tours Weekend" that comes up in late November...

"This Place"...is going to be a main part of what the Chamber...and the various Artists Organizations down here have been trying to "showcase as possible" here in Ajo...

(uh, "nope"..."no pressure", folks...hee hee....)....

we'll (me/ I'll)...get it figured out....and "done 'nuff" ta make 'em proud....

(even still have almost enough stashed aside for a couple bottles of fancy wine...and the keg of beer...that I promised would be here that weekend!)...hee hee....

Other Fronts:

The painting (of the Indian Child) that I finished a couple weeks ago,...has been " accepted" into a juried show at the Curley Gallery...it will be there until the middle of October...

The painting that I did last Spring...of the "Dancers in the Plaza"...(I call it "Ribbons n Lace")...has been chosen as the 2009-2010 Cover Illustration for the annual Copper Phonebook !....that's a "big deal", folks!..."my art" will be in every household down in this part of the Sonora Desert Southwest!

uh, can I raise da price...of the "original" painting then???....hee heee....

"Things" may be dogged down....and runnin' kinda slow in late August/early September down here...kinda what is called locally as being the "Mexican Way" (all year round)....ya just learn to go slow...conserve energies (and water)...and go wid da flow!

I love dis Place!

P.S....these pics can be clicked on...to see larger....colors/depth "ain't right"...but, whadahell !....

Da Dog n da Tiger...

2009-08-29T14:05:00.000-07:00

hmmmm...sometimes, ya just gotta "go wid yer desires"...uh, right?

regardless of "what" the consequences/outcome might (probably) inevitably end up being?

I don't remember where I found this particular picture.

I have sat and stared at it a time, or two...and wondered...

wondered at the "chumzpah" of that lil' black dog...wondered at "what" brought that particular desire into his head?....wondered "how" did he get the tiger to even allow him "close enough" to begin with?....

wondered "what happened"...next?

Did she literally Eat him Alive???

Like an ol' days nursery rhyme..."there's gotta be a "moral" in here somewhere, right???

Silly sht, I know...but, damn!...I'm curious!...

"What" happened to that brave, brash, indecently funny lil' black dog next????

I wanna know the rest of the story!

Drunk Tonight....hee hee....

2009-08-25T00:54:00.000-07:00

Yep,...this ol' Fart is....

"Uh,....but Hon,....it's my fckin' Birthday!.....grant me "an excuse" for tonight?"

Hee Hee....

Awww, sht....(I know)....turnin' 60 ain't s'posed ta mean that yer "smarter"....(or...any "more" intelligent)....

I "know" that I am "still" a "dumb Fck"!!!!

I am just surprised...(hit me upside the ol' head)... that I stumbled through life...

and managed ta get beyond the stage....

the Stage where....

"in da old days"....we used ta say...

"Never Trust anyone over 30"....

Remember dat sht?

Uh...."So What"....da fck happens...??... when....ya all da sudden...."wake up"...and

discover that yer.... 60???????"

Does dat mean....

"that I'm twice as "un-believable" as I used to be?

Awww...."fckit"....still got me beer tonight... that a friend dropped by...

I don't want to...."get into"....anything deeper than my "next" brew....

Happy Birthday!....ya Dipsht!

And I want to Thank Lani....for the presents that arrived in the mail this afternoon....I "love" Octavia Butler's stuff!....and ya sent me some "Barley Juice",...too?!???....I "love da fck" outa dos guys!

Did ya know....des guy's....are proud "Little People"....(and very talented "Artists")....playin' da traditional (Irish/Scottish) sht...that never gets any "airtime" across the airways of our nation?...uh, unless yer a PBS radio junkie (like me).......that they .... and I quote here...are...

"a group of Yanks (means American) dedicated to the preservation of the fine old drinkin',.. fightin',.. courtin',.. dyin'...and sailin' ...(did we mention drinkin'?) songs... of Ireland and Scotland"...

I knew about them...these guys are from Baltimore (I think)...."been there,...done dat"...hee hee.... but...They wear da kilts... and even though they look/act like they're from Ireland/ Scotland....they be "Homegrown Here"...it's an "experience/ stage act" thing they do,... that makes ya "want yer Roots"...BigTime....They "have their sht together" with da "ol' country" sht....

uh..."White Ethnic" stuff???

what is wrong with that?

It's about "time" that Anglo/White Americans finally "found" Roots music of "our own" to celebrate our ethnicity with...wouldn't you say?

These Guys put on a "show"....!!!!

They make ya feel...da sht that "white males" ain't 'sposed ta have "roots" with anymore...

hee hee..."drinkin', sailin', wilderness wanderin',...uh, maybe even wenchin'?"...hee hee...

Silly Sht....I know....

but....

"Des Guys"...make ya feel "good"....bein' a man!

An amazing album of their drinkin' ditties....good sht...like "All fer me Grog"..."Wild Rover"..."Fiddler's Song"...n...their hardcore harmonica licks on "Marymack" just plainazz get's yer feet dancin'....

Throw in some good Irish "pipes"....a drumbeat...some "yearnin' flute"....and what ya got?

If "this sht"...don't make ya wanna get off yer azz and sing along to their "da old dayz sht"...

yer a bigger lack o heart...(laggert)...than I....

Travel into their Musical sht...

"Barley Juice"..is their name....

uh, I think ya might like it....hee hee....I do...

oh, by the way....

They's "Irish/Scotish" descent....hee hee....(same as my old Folks).....

Uh,...and Lani....I "love You", too!!!!!

Remember My Lai ?

2009-08-22T04:04:00.000-07:00

hmmmm...William Calley apologizes...

uh, "Sht, Bill?!?...for what?....being used????"

I'm a 2 tour Nam Vet.

I know that he was scape-goated by the Powers that Be...

somewhere, along the line, it was just "his turn" to take the fall.
pizzed me off back when it happened...the way he was "paraded before the public" and held up to be the "bad guy"...when I "knew in my gut"...that he was just the patzie of choice thrown out there...

and "now"...he apologizes???

almost 40 years later?

sheesh!

http://www.ledger-enquirer.com/news/story/813820.html

and...NO...I am not saying that Calley was/is any kind of "hero" of mine...He did a dastardly thing at My Lai...but...he wasn't the only "misfit" that should have been hung by the balls! His "superiors" should have been rounded up and punished as well.

All I am saying here is that Calley was the one "sacrificed", while the others who "gave the orders" were ignored what they did...which was wrong.

Same sht continues today...look at how the "lowly enlisted" guards at Abu Grad were selected for punishment...but their "higher ups" who gave them their walking orders were allowed no responsibilty....

It's a screwed up situation...It took Calley 40 years to finally 'fess up and "be sorry" for doing what he had done?

Wonder how many years it will take Cheney...or ol' GW... ta feel any remorse...and apologize?

August. Weekend..1969....

2009-08-15T22:01:00.000-07:00

Sheesh!...been 40 years?....Damn!....doesn't "seemdat long"...then...again..."it does"....sigh.

This weekend...40 years ago...this ol' Fart...was sitting on "waterpoint duty"...in Viet Nam.

I was sitting in a basecamp called Cua-Viet...at the confluence of a river that we called the Dong Ha...and where it entered the South Pacific...(uh, that's what I "knew" back then).

It was only a few "clicks" South of the divide between North Viet Nam...and Southern Viet Nam...and right on the coast.

"sht" happened there almost every fckin' night.

I was on "midnight watch"...

at the place where we were running the salanation station....(I was a Seabee...we were running "de-salanation" stations for the base support..."clean" water fer our guys...right?)....

that's...."changin' salt water....into drinkin' water"....ya got it??

Yeah...."that's"...da same sht that (part of) Haliburton get's paid "way times more" ta supposedly do "nowadays"....sigh....

hee hee....

anyway,....I was on watch that night.

Boring Job!

smoke cigs....walk around....watch the surf....listen to yer small personal radio with an ear phone...

AFVN....(Armed Forces Viet Nam)....and (almost live....now and then)....reports about "all the wild Hippies" and overt "sexual sht" going on in upstate New York...inter "mixed" with canned music... would come through my earphone...

I remember "flashing back" to about 3 weeks before....when I was also on "graveyard patrol"....and I listened to our "First steps on da fckin' moon" that particular night...

I looked up at the moon.

and "here I am (was)...a 19 year old...American!....wondering.... "Whadafck am I doing..."Here?"....

At 19...I was also a Virgin....never been fcked...never even had a blowjob....(or a Handjob)....never really had paid any attention to "what those were!"...

I "was here!"...to protect American Values?

uh,..."it was my "old school" American Attitude"???

For the past 40 years...since I "made it Home"...this ol' Fart, during his "wanderings" has met too many....numerous bullsht "souls" who have claimed to "have been there"(at Woodstock)...ta "experience" da fckin' "Light"...ta have been there when Joan Baez sang her sht....to have yelled when Jimi Hendrex "brought in the daylight that morning when he "shredded" the Star Spangled Banner!(instrumentally)....

I'm here...to say...I "listened" to the sht that night....and I watched the moon that Neil Armstrong was returning Home from being upon just days before...and I got down upon my knees...

and I wept...

Ya'll try and have a Great Night!....got it?

Somehow...someway...

2009-08-14T11:42:00.000-07:00

I sit here,...in the desert of Southern Arizona...and simmer...but not due to the 100+ degree temperatures of this place.

I'm "hot" about all the bullsht going on out in Washington D.C....and in the governmental/corporate power bases of our Nation. I'm "agitated" about all the corruption and out right stealing, and abuses of power going on....and how the latest incarnations are being done in Broad Daylight...fer Crizzsakes!

I'm pizzed off that rather than "doing something about it", as O'Bama was elected to do...he appears to have turned out to be just another corporate shill in the game...with his only concern being to help ensure an even tighter choke/chain collar around the throats of us,.. the People of this once Great Nation... than the one that Bush (and Reagan) first harnessed us with....

He just "proves out" an old theory of mine...namely, that...It don't matter, anymore, "who gets elected"...the "public" is always going to pay...and the corporate hierarchy wins!

When are enough other People going to see this sht for what it really is?

SLAVERY!

Somehow, someway...We the People must take back the Control!

Somehow, someway, We the People must shake off our chains of slavery to the Corporate Machine...and cast out EVERY Fckin' ONE of those miscreant Son's O Bitches out there in Washington that enables it!

Somehow, someway...we must destroy the Bankster and Corporate stranglehold on our government and it's elected representatives!

Somehow, someway...We the People must get/gain back our "voice"!

Somehow, someway WE Must Prevail!

Reading an article in the Huffington this morning, about the "disparity" in incomes ( between the top 1% ers and the rest of us) really sent visions of the French Revolution racing thru this ol' fever'd brain of mine.

Whadahell???

Those "fatcats" need to be run up the pole!...and ...maybe even behead every damned one of them...along with every self serving governmental/corporate shill thats helped them along the way!

Time to stop "pussy footin' around"....Time to get ANGRY!...Time to let our so-called "reps" know that we are not going to TAKE THIS SHT ANY LONGER!

If enough of us STAND AS ONE...they gotta listen....right???

hee hee..."yeah"...right....

Anyone believing we da people will "rise up" in anything even resembling "Unity" anymore...is even a more lame-brained idealist than I am.

Too many nowadays only watch out for "number one"...perhaps, might even extend that to their own "immediate family"...however, most nowadays, won't ever consider something as large as their own block...or town...let alone a county, or State...or...gawd ferbid...a Nation.

(sheesh, I might get in trouble,...or rounded up,...or maybe even shot!)

Too many diverse "whatabout me's"..."whatdo I gets".., "what if's?"..."how do I profit?"....same "disease" that corrupts the elite outer fringe...also corrupts the minions here below....sigh....

but, Somehow...someway....we really should come together...in some form of Unity...and rise up against this Beast that we've created (through our own less than self interest)...and somehow...someway..."re-cage" the Gawwdamned Thing!

Ya'll try and have a Great Day!...ya hear?

New Painting...

2009-08-12T13:21:00.000-07:00

Here is the newest painting just completed...still have to clearcoat it,...and then get a frame put around it.

It measures 16"x20" in size...

Monsoon Rains finally hit here around 3 this morning!....rained real "gully washers" for about 2 hours.
Will have to take a drive out into the desert and see "what kinda green" it brought with it...hee hee...

What If?...

2009-08-07T03:09:00.000-07:00

Whew!...Just awoke from a bad dream...One that really scares dasht outa this ol' Fart...what if...it wasn't "just a dream" afterall, but,...in fact..."something" deeper than that?

Stuff like that has been "known to happen" before. Native American history is filled with "visions and dreams", giving advance warnings of dire circumstances and situations soon to trouble the tribes back 150 years ago...

What if...those "were real"?

What if...this "dream" of mine...is the same kind of thing?...and not "just a dream" at all?

If so,...we (all of us) are in some deep doodoo...and we have absolutely "no way out".

I know that this might sound "pretty out there" for some, but...what if...it's not? What if...my inner "uncomfort" these past number of years...has really been more Truth, than just a figment of my over active imagination (as various shrinks these past 30+ years have consistently tried to tell me)?

Just cuz someone is paranoid...doesn't really mean they are wrong...now, does it?

I've had gut feelings about "sht being wrong" all my life...little sht...sht that ya just can't quite put yer finger on...but yer gut tells ya to proceed with caution about.

Trusting "it" saved my life numerous times in Viet Nam,...and in my "wilder days" once I returned "home" from there. It's also caused me a lot of difficulty at times...times when I didn't go ahead and "trust it", cuz I didn't want to "believe it"...nor what it was telling me.

We are in such times...again.

I have watched our society falling apart all of my life. I read voraciously. I've studied History, Religion, and the Arts...and even politics and corporate expansionism for a long while. Hell, I'm almost 60 years old now...that's a lot of time for "reading n learning"...

Up until recently, I was not sure whether I believed in "Armageddon", or not...I'm still not sure "which one" I even think is coming...the "religious" one...or the "environmental" one... the "financial" one...or the "pandemic" one...

The more I read, I am forming the belief that it will be "all of 'em"...and at the same time.

What if...this whole "financial" fiasco going on right now IS being done on purpose? What if...that Avian/Swine flu thing is really man-made (as some claim) and there is an agenda to unleash it here in the Fall? What if...our money supply becomes totally worthless/invalid at the same time?

What if that "so-called" vaccine is really just a ploy to help spread the virus, rather than stop it?

What if...our food supply line also totally dries up...at same time?

What if...the Corporate Overlords and Banksters really are out to reduce the planet's population from 6.5 billion souls down to only 500,000,000?

As the planet's one Nation of "former" highest consumerism...do we, as "common people" have any "other" asset for the Machine? Hell, we sure don't "produce" anything anymore...and, now that we're "broke"...we sure don't buy anything...do we?

All "we" seem to do anymore...is "bitch n complain"..."give me more"...there ain't enough "wealth" ta spread around that far, folks!...da "Fat Cats" control/want it all!

My "dream" told me that we (mid and lower class citizens)...just as the Native American tribes were declared back in the mid-1800's...have been deemed "un-wanted" any longer.

My "dream" told me that "mass-genocide" is set to start wiping us out soon. We're going to awaken one morning, in the not too distant future, to find our money worthless for purchasing anything...we'll also be saddled with a pandemic flu at same time....those of us that somehow survive these...will be herded into FEMA "death camps" by the Military Forces already in place to "put down" any resistance. Those without a "usable" skill/talent will be euthanized.

That "fence" at the Border...is "to keep us in"....not to keep aliens out.

What if...you awaken tomorrow morning and find that your money isn't any good?...your bank card rejected?...and Martial Law declared?

Not very many of us...are "self sufficient/self-sustaining" anymore...are we? All the "vast majority" is...anymore...is "chattel"...undesirables...nothing but "parasites" on the society that the Elite want to create.

Think about it...

What would YOU do???

Ta Daaah!

2009-08-06T12:13:00.000-07:00

Sheesh!....uh, anybody,...in this "modern society" of ours...know/desire to get along "without" electricity...and all the modern conveniences that go along with it?...uh, I mean besides ol' brain dead Hippies, or, ...perhaps a few hardcore Amish farmers....??

Right after my last post...a storm (with 100 mile per hour winds) passed just to the North of here...between Ajo, and Gila Bend...it knocked out about 100 power poles,...and a couple of transformer stations....we were knocked off da grid for about 3 days...totally "without"...in 100plus heat....damn!

When it finally did "come back on"...it kept going on n off every little while...surges n brownouts...for another couple of days...double damn!

and here I sat...cursing myself for not having gotten my battery bank set up in this ol' RV over the past Winter months, as I was originally going to do (before I got side-tracked with this building down here)...ain't "hindsight" a bitch, sometimes??

I didn't even have any "house batteries" in this ol' rig at all!...The 2 deep cycle Optima 12 volt Marine batteries (that I'd bought just before leaving the Northwest about 2 years ago) had overheated in this "extreme" environment down here...and burst their casings last Summer.

SIDENOTE for any RVers thinking about staying down this direction: 12 volt Sealed Batteries are Useless down in this desert!...They do not last! For "whatever" reason, they all overheat and the cases will split. I've talked with a lot of different people down here about it, and all told me the same thing...if one is going to spend any extended period of time in this area: go with deep cycle 6 volt Golf Cart battery banks instead.

Anyway, when the Power went out last month...hee hee...I still hadn't gotten around to building my battery bank yet....sigh...

and when the "brownouts" hit...the main breaker box on my building's connection..."fried"...Triple Damn!

and there I was...middle of the month...and "no money" in the bank (or in hand) with which to fix it.

Temps in the upper One-Teens...uh, did I say somewhere, more than a few times even..."Hey! I love this desert?...and the heat down here?"...hee hee...

This past couple of weeks sure "tested me" on that.

I finally got the electrical problem straightened out yesterday...it was sure nice to be able to sit in front of this small air conditioner again...and listen to my "music" on the CD player, while I surf da Internet on this ol' desktop...

After reading thru all my "normal" news sources and blog list,...and seeing what's still been going on out there in the "real world"...can't really see that I've even missed anything by being out here in the Sonora Desert and totally "out of touch"...

...matter of fact...in retrospect...I kinda think the little "vacation" might have done this ol' Fart's head/heart/temper some good...kinda hard "maintaing a mad" when ya simply aren't aware of the sht that pizzes ya off...now ain't it?

Thinkin' 'bout getting those batteries, and finishing up the solar set up that I started installing on this ol' RV last Fall...at least then...I'll have some lights, and a fan, or two, the next time "something" happens...hee hee...

and... "Yeah!"...I still lovedafck out of this desert down here!...hee hee....

Ya'll try and have a Great Day!....ya hear?

Too Much...

2009-07-11T12:08:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, this ol' Fart does a bit " too much"...sometimes it's too much smokin'...sometime's it's too much drinkin'...sometime's too much thinkin'....or, too much runnin' off at da mouth....sigh....

Sometime's, I do all of them at the same time!

and then I add...too much time at the computer to the equation....

too much time spent reading about all the sht going on out there in the "real" world.

and I then end up...

spending too much time letting it all

depress me too much.

Damn!

Where is "balance"?...where is "reason" anymore?

when I try and stay away...I end up too much the opposite direction...and become "too much" detached!

I've never claimed to be "intelligent",...nor ever claimed to have any of the "answers" to anything of substantial importance...except, once in a while...in hindsight...sigh...

I am waaay too stupid, when I get too drunk, and am feeling too depressed, and too angry, and too full of self remorse, to ever be allowed to get on this damned keypad!

Which, it seems, I have been doing to much of again....(all of my "too much's")....

I've "no right" to post my senseless rantings and ravings as I have lately...no right to export my angst/frustrations as I've done...what "good" does venting like that even ever produce?

so...after spending too much time self-flagellating my stupidities, I've removed some of my "worst" examples of verbal direah from this blog.

It is "no good" to show, too often, just how truly " too fcked up" this ol' Fart is...now isn't it?

I apologize...

New Painting...

2009-07-08T12:22:00.000-07:00

Here's the new one that I've been working on this past week...

finished it up (except for the final clearcoat) about 4 this morning.

Damn, I sure wish that the colors in the pics would come out "right"...but, they never do...

Awww, well...

Gotta go..."things ta see, and people to do"...

Ya'll try and have a Great Day!...ya hear?

when Pigs learn to Fly...

2009-06-30T15:21:00.000-07:00

Another painting is finished..."In Gramma's Hands"...

It's based on another one of those old photographs that I love finding from 100 years ago...and then re-interpreting...sometimes (as here)...with color.

I put it into an old frame that I also found "somewhere"... and then added an abalone shell inlay to.

Too bad that my photography skills just fail when it comes to trying to get a "good" pic of the finished paintings...sigh...no matter how I try...I just can't seem to get past the High Gloss finish that I put on them...and I end up with "washed out" areas, and lack of details in the pics...grrrr!

Even a "professional" photographer friend tried to take some pics a couple weeks ago for me...and "failed" to be able to light the pieces in such a way so that she didn't end up with "white spots" of reflected light across the paintings...dang....

She suggested that I stop using the High Gloss clearcoat that I finish each piece off with...but..."that" is "what" brings out the depths and details that I put into my works...

I've taken pics of the paintings "before" I clear them, however...that doesn't bring out the details either...just gets rid of the glare...

hee hee...I "love da frustrations" of this sht!...

There's an "easy fix" for all this ...however, I am a Po' mofo...and don't have the bucks to spend to take my stuff down to some "fancy azz" photography studio and have them do it.

Not at this point, anyway...

"maybe"...someday...

after I win the Lottery...

or...after...

Pig's learn to fly...

hee hee...

Temps here, in the middle of the Sonora Desert: 110...in da shade!

I'm spending a lot of time down at the Library on the Plaza...hangin' out in the air-conditioning...and wandering thru their collection of Western novels...lol...their Louie Lamour collection ain't too "shabby"...

Stay Cool!...

and Ya'll try and have a Great Day!...ya hear?